Chapter 13
Thirteen
Loss of Control
We wound between the stone walls in the dark, the mist growing thicker with every step.
No one dared to speak. The silence was thicker now, pressing down on us like a physical weight.
Dreya’s gaze lingered on the blood coating my hands, accusing and uncertain, as though I were the one who had killed Hadley. I couldn’t blame her. The horror on her face as Hadley bled out in my arms while I sang clung to me. It was the same look I had learned to expect from people my entire life.
Time would have to be running out by now, and with only two medallions and a dead squad mate, I doubted Orin would be impressed.
We followed Dreya around a sharp corner into an open square.
The centre of the maze. I froze. Five initiates snapped their heads towards us.
A blood-spattered initiate with four medallions clinking against his broad chest swung his sword in a wide arc in front of his body.
“Hand them over,” he snarled at Riven. But his eyes drew to me.
A dark smile curled his lips. “The Kingdom’s most protected cunt, playing soldier.
You should’ve stayed locked in your tower.
” Bile burnt the back of my throat. His eyes burnt with the same heat as the priest’s.
The same hunger of a predator who cared nothing for consent.
His squad spread out, circling us like wolves.
“Don’t look at her. Look at me,” Riven said darkly, a wild grin splitting his face. “I’m the pretty one in the group, and I like to play.”
Before he could respond, Dreya vanished. Swallowed by the air itself.
“What the fuck—”
She grinned, appearing in front of him for a split of a second. Clutching the medallions and disappearing with them. She reappeared a few paces away, triumphantly clutching the bundle of medallions she’d stolen.
“Dreya! Move!” Riven shouted. Too late. Another initiate seized her by the hair, yanking her backward.
Her head struck the stone with a sickening crack.
Her attacker, a female cadet with a cruel smile and blood-flecked face, snapped her fingers.
Fire bloomed in her palm, the heat licking up her arm as she stepped towards Dreya.
My world narrowed to Dreya, the first person to show me kindness.
The image of her crumpling in the snow detonated something raw and hot behind my ribs.
I couldn’t let her die. Panic flooded me, jagged and dangerous.
A new power hummed beneath my skin like a second heartbeat, begging to be let loose.
I wanted to tear the sky open and rip the flame from that cadet’s palm.
Kill them all. The voice slithered into my head. Louder than before, sharper, until it sounded identical to my own.
I moved without thinking, pure instinct guiding me.
Everyone burst into action, Riven the first to raise his weapon.
Swords clashed. Grunts of pain echoed off the stone wall.
An arm wrenched around my throat, cutting off my air and halting my steps.
I watched as Dreya and the redheaded woman grappled in the snow.
My vision blurred, but I kicked and scratched at the forearm pressing against my throat.
My attacker moaned, breathing heavily into my ear, “I’ve heard rumours, you know. Heard you like a soldier’s cock.” He squeezed harder against my throat, his other hand slipping into the waist of my pants. “Why don’t I give you one last taste, before I slit your throat?”
Panic gripped. I began to thrash. Through the blood roaring in my ears, music grew.
The melody crawled seductively beneath my skin, cold as death.
It curled around my ribs like a vice. An eerie calm settled over me as a strange vibration pulsed beneath my skin.
Every drop of water in his body called to me.
I allowed my body to go limp against his and closed my eyes.
I ripped the water from his body and forced it to his lungs.
His grip faltered. A wet gasp. Then another. I felt his lungs fill. His body convulsed against me, gurgling against my ear.
He dropped me as he fell to his knees, and air whooshed back into my deprived lungs. His skin turned a deep shade of red, a vein bulging in his forehead. My eyes never left his, watching as red marks bloomed over his throat from his own fingers clawing in desperation.
I kept singing as I crawled over him, straddling him and pressing my hands against his chest. The water pooled beneath my hands.
His body spasmed beneath me, a final, desperate fight against the inevitable.
His fear seeped into me, unfurling through my veins, curling tight around something dark and primal.
I covered his mouth, silencing the wet gasps, stopping the water from spilling.
I watched him drown. And I liked it. The satisfaction hit like a drug, terrifying in its sweetness.
I stood from the dead body, and a scream sent chills through my blood. The redheaded woman held Dreya down and pressed flames to her skin. It licked up her neck and fuelled her screams. The moment Dreya’s screams stopped—her body turned limp and her eyes fluttered shut.
The darkness inside me didn’t rise. It erupted, tearing through the last scraps of my restraint. A haunting note left my tongue as I reached out, forcing the water inside her attacker’s body to invade her lungs.
She began to splutter, confusion and terror making her eyes bulge as she drowned.
My skin felt feverish, and a dizziness swept through me, threatening to pull me under like a tide, but I ran to Dreya’s side.
Her head lolled to the side, red angry burns licking up her neck.
Relief hit me like a wave when I saw her chest rise and fall.
Riven was holding his own against the two initiates to my left.
While they slashed at him with swords, he dodged with fluid precision and drove his fists into their ribs and jaws.
His grin, bright and feral, gleamed through the blood smearing his face.
I reached for the water coursing through their blood and was met with a burning feeling inside my chest.
The frustrated cry that left my lips was a mistake. One of the men fighting Riven charged at me, sword poised to strike.
A single note slipped past my lips, lyrical and winding.
I didn’t know why, only that something primal inside me demanded I sing.
Weakness pulled at my limbs, threatening to drag me into darkness as sweat beaded on my skin.
His steps faltered. Slowed. He lowered his sword, head tilting, mouth slack with wonder.
His eyes shone with a strange sheen. A wet gargle sounded as blood spewed from his mouth, breaking whatever enchantment I held over him.
The point of a blade burst through his chest, spraying me with warm liquid.
Riven put his boot on his back and pushed, the initiate’s body falling with a wet thump into the snow. Roman slit the last attacker’s throat. I barely registered the medallions clenched in his fist. Riven wiped the blade on the initiates back before glancing up at me.
Each breath burnt my lungs. The power thrumming in my veins threatened to consume me. Something inside me cracked.
Riven’s face had drained of colour. Still, he inched closer, like I was some wild beast that might turn on him.
I dropped to my hands and knees, gasping for air as my fingernails scraped against the pebbles.
I clenched my jaw against the scream rising in my throat.
The darkness was consuming, breaking through every wall I had put in place to keep it at bay.
This was what the priest had bled from me not sin.
Darkness and pure evil ran through my veins, tearing to the surface.
I had blamed the priest, blamed the Gods, blamed the world.
But the horror clawing its way out of me felt too familiar to deny.
I am evil. I had been all along.
Riven’s water called to me. A pulse, a whisper. A promise of power.
I grunted, trying to resist. I wanted to drown him. I looked up at him. Riven stumbled backwards. His breath hitched, sharp and uneven.
“Run!” I screamed. I didn’t know what was happening. But I didn’t want to hurt him.
For the first time, his eyes held no humour, only something raw. Something dangerously close to fear. He opened his mouth, but no words came.
Orin’s dagger laid on the ground next to me. I seized the blade and stabbed it into my wrist, dragging it upwards towards my elbow, leaving a gaping gash in its wake.
Blood poured from me, dulling the urge to kill as the pain grounded me.
It wasn’t enough. I sliced open my other forearm, my blood spilling black across the snow, and with each drop, the monster inside me shrank back. My breath hitched. My head swam. I would not hurt Riven.
Riven screamed my name but he sounded far away. The heat consumed me, and everything went black.