Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
Bonded
Icontinued to pace in front of the Commander, bare feet sinking into the soft carpet with each footfall.
“I did not know we were Fated and I did not mean to invoke it. But when our blood mingled during the bargain, it partially accepted the bond.” His eyes opened, lashes fanning his cheek as he looked down at his hands. “Do not worry though, Little Drownling, you will not be stuck with me for long.”
The pain in his voice melted a small part of my fury. “What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped.
His dark eyes lifted to mine, swimming with something dangerously close to grief. He had lied to me by omission. Twice. He wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t safe. But neither was I.
The realisation hollowed me out. I should have been terrified. I should have run. I should have done a thousand sane, logical things.
Instead, the earth shifted beneath my feet, pulling me towards him. Or maybe it was the bond, forcing me to want him.
Gods, I wanted him in a way that felt older than time. Like remembering a story that I used to know. Like coming home. No. I stopped myself, turning away before he could see the choice tearing me apart. Before I could give in.
Without a word, I crossed the room and climbed into the bed, pulling the blankets around me like armour. I laid on my side with my back to him, curling in on myself.
“Yell at me. Be mad at me,” the Commander whispered. “But please, do not shut me out.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, fingers tightening in the blankets. His words seeped into the cracks I was trying to seal.
“Silence has always been safer for me,” I whispered back.
“There are things I physically cannot tell you,” he explained in a pained voice. “I am sorry.”
His apology sat heavily on my chest, a weight I didn’t know how to lift off my heavy heart.
I lay there in the quiet, staring at nothing, listening to the slow rhythm of his breathing and the distant hush of the sea beyond the windows.
I told myself that turning my back was strength. But the silence stretched, thick and aching, filled with all the words I wasn’t ready to say and all the ones he hadn’t dared to offer.
Eventually, exhaustion won. My grip on the blankets loosened, my thoughts blurring at the edges, and sleep crept in like a tide, gentle but relentless.
I woke to the quiet light of dawn seeping through the billowing sheer curtains, basking everything in a soft orange glow.
The Commander sat in the same chair he had been in last night, slumped awkwardly. His long legs stretched out, one arm draped over the armrest. His head had fallen forward, dark hair shadowing his face as he slept.
He looked wrong like this. Unguarded, exhausted and almost human in a way I wasn’t used to seeing. He chose to sleep there instead of his own bed, because I had claimed it.
I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, the faint pull of shadows curled loosely around his boots, dormant in sleep. He had kept his distance. Given me space.
I sighed, climbing out of his bed and walking across the soft carpet.
I had to unite the Kingdoms. I had to marry him. And it was my lack of control in my fate that made me hate it.
He blinked wearily at me as I grew closer, waking from sleep as if sensing me.
“You are right,” I told him softly as he stretched. “If you had told me about our bond when it appeared, I would have probably killed myself to take you down with me.”
His lip quirked in a sleepy half smile. “Vicious little thing,” he murmured.
I closed the distance between us before I realised what I was doing. I sat on his lap and curled myself against his chest. He let out a shuddering breath, a sound of disbelief. Like he couldn’t trust that I was real. His heart raced beneath my cheek, wild and uneven.
“Do I have a choice in this?” I whispered.
He tensed. His fingers lifted to my chin, tilting my face up so I had no choice but to meet his eyes.
“I do not want the Seven Hells to destroy Lumireth. But if winning means forcing you to choose me,” he said as he ran the back of his forefinger over my face.
“Then the whole world can fucking burn.”
I leant into his touch and looked up into the endless depths of his eyes, where I could see nothing but devastating truth.
“What if…” I trailed off, trying to find the courage to be vulnerable. “I want to choose you.”
Something in him broke, his expression softened and raw emotion shone in eyes. How did I once think them soulless? There was so much suffering in them, so much grief.
He cupped my face with both hands, thumbs brushing my cheekbones with a tenderness that stole the breath from my lungs. His forehead pressed to mine, and for a heartbeat, we simply existed.
Save him, the voice whispered, barely a breath that sent gooseflesh over my skin.
Our breaths mingled, and our chests rose in the same rhythm.
Then he kissed me. Softly. Carefully. Like he was memorising me.
My hands curled around the back of his neck as warmth bloomed through me, magic unfurling like petals desperate for sun.
His thumb stroked the corner of my mouth, coaxing me closer, deepening the kiss with tenderness.
I sighed against his mouth, fingers curling into his shoulders.
Our lips moved with aching reverence, slowly and deeply.
He made a pained noise, and I drew back. “Your shadows,” I gasped, eyes widening. Darkness crawled across his skin, burrowing into him in aggressive strikes.
I tipped my head back, brushing my silver hair behind my shoulder to expose my neck. His hair was silky between my knuckles as I gripped the base of his neck and pulled him towards me. A shiver shot through me as his lips brushed my neck, his breath fanning against the sensitive skin.
His teeth grazed me teasingly. An excited flutter spread through my stomach, warmth sinking between my thighs. His large warm hands wrapped around my waist, and he bit down. A sting of pain, then warmth and pure want flooded my system. But he didn’t use his venom.
A moan left me, and I ground against his growing hardness.
His hands roamed, squeezing my breasts and rolling my nipples between his thumb and forefinger in a way that made me whimper.
Slipping between my thighs, a growl vibrated against my neck as he slid his fingers over my panties.
Mouth leaving my neck, he stood and lifted me until my legs wrapped around his waist. A metallic taste filled my mouth as his tongue slid against mine. But I didn’t care.
My panties bit into my skin for moment before they were ripped from me. I gasped as his hands gripped my ass, squeezing the flesh and walking us backwards until my back hit a wall. “Please,” I whimpered against his mouth. I was desperate. Desperate to be consumed by him.
A strange urge washed over me, and without thinking, I bit his bottom lip.
He paused, muscles tensing beneath me as if he had turned to stone. “Be very fucking careful, love,” he ground out with his lip between my teeth.
I let go, a deep blush creeping up my neck. Consuming his blood would mean sealing the bond.
He slid his hand slowly down my chest, gripping the material of my slip. It tore from my body, the air washing over my over-heated skin. His teeth grazed my nipple before his tongue swirled around it, just once before his fingers dug into my hips to hold me against the wall.
He dropped to his knees. My legs trembled against his shoulders, and I gasped as he dragged his tongue along my sensitive flesh. Suddenly, he was done being gentle. He sucked on my clit, letting his teeth graze me and my back arched.
“You taste so fucking good,” he growled against me. Each stroke of his tongue brought me closer. Closer.
Release swept through me like a tide answering its moon. I was nothing but sensation and surrender, breaking apart in luminous fragments while he remained, steady and sure, holding me through every crest and collapse as the world dissolved until there was nothing but us.
He stood, hands on my ass to support me as he walked towards the bed.
“You can bite me,” he said, throwing me on the bed and straightening to undo his belt. I held my breath, unable to look away. He was breathtaking, pure masculine beauty that made my mouth water.
He climbed onto the bed, body pressing down on me and pulling my leg around his waist, his cock pushing against my entrance. “But do not drink my blood,” he warned as he inched himself inside me, stretching me until I squirmed. Gods, he was big.
“If you do,” he snarled softly as he rolled his hips, teasing me with his tip. “You will be mine completely.”
My gasps turned into frustrated moans, and I gripped on to his shoulders to try and pull him closer. More. I needed more.
“Fuck me already,” I demanded.
“Say that again,” he growled, voice rough and wrecked, “and I might break you.”
I pushed up onto my elbows, until our noses touched.
“Fuck. Me. Now.” My voice came out in layered tones and his eyes turned pure black. He slammed into me, the full length of him finally seated to the hilt with a sound that undid me.
I trailed my tongue up his neck as he drove his hips into me, moaning with each merciless thrust. Our lips met, his tongue claiming me. His hand reached between us, fingers stroking my clit in time with his cock.
Something primal flooded me, and suddenly, my teeth sunk into his lip. A sweet metallic taste flooded into my mouth. His blood. I was never good at doing what I was told.
Pleasure tore through me in wave after wave of pleasure.
The Commander roared, his cock twitching inside me as he crashed over the edge with me.
My left hand burnt as though it had been drenched in flames.
My chest felt like it was being torn open, my heart itself being remade.
Something inside my very soul snapped into place, a tether.
Like a puzzle piece clicking into place.
A silver thread that wrapped around my very essence that connected me to him.
The Commander’s breath whooshed out of him, as if he could feel it too.
“You bonded me,” he whispered, voice dripping with both disbelief and panic. “Fuck, love. I warned you.”
The silver thread vibrated, sending feelings that were not my own into my chest. I could feel his happiness radiating into me, his wonder, his adoration. His fear. Or perhaps that was mine. I couldn’t tell anymore.
I clung to him like he was my lifeline as we stared at each other in shock.
His cock was still buried deep inside me, and his cock twitched. His mouth crashed against my lips, devouring me in a possessive kiss. “Mine,” he ground out. Gods, he was so fucking deep.
“Yours,” I moaned. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, the pleasure crushing me. The mix of his emotions. His sensations. All of it flooded into me from the bond, making my soul sing.
The Commander’s arms tightened around me like a vice as he impaled me with desperation, and I met each one with my own feverish need.
I could feel his pleasure, and something beneath it that felt dangerously close to what I imagined love to feel like, and it made me clench around him.
He fucked me harder. Faster. Moans blended with masculine rasps of pleasure cut through the sound of our flesh meeting. He was right, I was going to break—
The world exploded. The stars trembled in the sky.
Pure, unadulterated ecstasy coursed through our veins like a wildfire that could never be tamed.
He ripped his mouth from mine, and he roared.
We held each other excruciatingly tight, like a tether to this plane of existence, through the waves of pleasure that threatened to push us into unconsciousness.
Our bodies trembled, and unlike mine, his emotions were clear. He rolled off me and curled his body around mine. My back was pressed against his chest and sighed into my hair, tightening his arm around my waist as if he thought I would disappear.
The bond pulsed between us—warm, alive and unmistakable. His emotions surged through me in a rush so fierce it almost stole my breath.
Love.
Gods, it was so raw, so overwhelming, tears prickled at the corner of my eyes. But beneath it—something bittersweet. Something that hurt.
“Am I… can I feel what you’re feeling?” I whispered into the moonlit dark, unsure if I was slipping back into madness.
“Yes.” His voice unfurled through my mind, and I stiffened in his arms. “I can feel you as well.”
I shuddered, his hand drawing circles on my hip. He could feel everything. My confusion. My fear. The soft, shameful truth that I felt safe in his arms.
“When the Nightbourne attacked me, your voice in my head was real wasn’t it?” I had put it down to my own madness.
He nodded against my head.
“Please, never do that again,” I whispered.
His body stiffened behind me, and I felt his rejection flood me.
“I’ve heard voices in my head since I was twelve, sometimes I can’t tell what is real,” I explained slowly, sharing the last of my broken soul with him.
“Then I will speak out loud,” he murmured into my hair, punctuating it with a kiss. That overwhelming feeling of grief slammed into me from the bond and I gasped.
“Why are you sad?” I asked him.
For a moment he didn’t answer, and I let my eyes fall shut, sinking into him.
Letting myself enjoy this quiet, impossible moment—his warmth, his steady breath against my neck, the way our souls tangled like they had always known each other.
His voice finally brushed the shell of my ear, barely a breath.
“Because this is all I have ever wanted…” He paused, a surge of anguish pouring down the bond, “and it’s going to be ripped away. ”
“I will drown anyone who tries,” I promised him and he chuckled darkly, but I felt the affection beneath it.
Sleep dragged at me, pulling me under, but I thought—just faintly—I heard him whisper one last thing: “Monsters do not deserve a happy ending.”
As I drifted off, something unsettling slithered through the bond. Or perhaps it was a dream. There was a ripple, tremor of violence. The urge to kill.
The Commander exhaled against my neck, warm and gentle. “Sleep, my Little Drownling.”