Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Sierra
Oh how I’d wished I could shut it off, my thoughts, my feelings, the emotions coming from the bond as I ran out of the building and out into the street. The only thing I could do, however, was run as far as I could. I had left my cloak behind, and the cold air and wet snow that fell from the sky had me shivering, but it wasn’t long before I was warm enough by the pumping of my arms and legs.
I threaded through streets, through alleys, through archways of side vendors, blindly going wherever there was an opening. People, their mouths open, passed by in a fuzzy blur as I went past. I nearly ran into a food cart filled with dried flowers and spices, causing the merchant who was manning it to curse at me.
I didn’t care. I just kept moving. The further away I went, the closer I could get to some kind of sanity.
His face… I couldn’t get over the look Lucius had given me. A mixture of horror that I had found him out and a look of defeat, the truth glaringly visible. He was the late Ongahri king’s son, and he had lied to me. Had I been part of some grand revenge plot? It looked too much something the Lucius I had first met would do. A calculated, well-played move in his ultimate goal for freedom.
Trick the Fealty Bride into marrying the enemy.
Had he been responsible for my tonics not working? With dawning horror, I remembered the day Lucius had shown me the cottage for the first time, how I had forgotten the bottles left on the table, how Lucius had fretted over it, volunteering to go get them for me. Had he tampered with them, wanting to trigger a heat so he could claim me?
No. I refused to read it that way.
Oh, how he had convinced me to leave Goth Mor Helle that night. Using my empathy for Ander and Neil’s plight as leverage, pointing out the futility of marrying a Trajan prince, encouraging me to revoke antiquated alliances and agreements that were “unfair.” Showing me what a life without chains would look like.
It may have started out that way, I thought as I ran down a backstreet and crossed another, busy with horses and carriages, but it didn’t end that way. I knew he loved me the only way a man like him could—there was no lying about that. No, none of his adoration was a ruse. It was just that he’d withheld something so monumental from me, his mate, the woman he had made vows to in front of the people he led, to his god, and when asked, point blank, if he’d known his father, he’d blatantly lied right to my face.
Ahead, a lady with a purple hat was opening her shop door, broom sweeping the snow off the cobblestone entrance. My sides were killing me from all the running, so I headed that way, thinking I could rest for a bit in her shop.
She seemed surprised when I slowed my pace and entered, but only smiled and kept sweeping. I looked around the shop that smelled like lilacs. It was filled with every shade of purple. Glassware, gloves, gowns, cases of jewelry, even books, all in purple.
It was the perfect place to lie low, I thought, looking down at my lavender gown. Had I been in better spirits and not just given a blow, I’d be exploring everything in this lovely, quaint establishment. Instead, I headed toward a corner where several dress forms stood. The front of the store had too many windows to risk being discovered when the others started searching for me, which I knew they would.
Gods, my head hurt as well as my throat from holding off a flood of tears. But I swallowed down the pain because I knew if I’d give in to them they’d never stop.
Somewhere behind me a woman whispered, causing me to startle.
“Miss.”
I whipped around, causing the nearest rack of hats to wobble precariously before the young woman righted it.
It was the woman from the street outside the theraspa yesterday. She was wearing that same strange headdress of tasseled flag-like decorations in her midnight dark hair. Her eyes were like a doe’s, wide, round and a dark brown like burnt molasses.
I almost laughed at her sudden appearance, here in this shop no less. What were the odds?
“I followed you,” she said, as if she’d read my thoughts. She nudged her head to the back room that was cordoned off by a plum-colored curtain. “I can get you out of here through there and take you somewhere private.”
I glanced back to the front of the store. The proprietress was just closing the door as the snow picked up. Outside on the street, I saw men walking fast, turning their heads this way and that. One of whom looked like Pateus.
“All right.” I could kill two birds with one stone, see what this woman wanted and get away from the others, who I wasn’t ready to face just yet.
We walked past the back curtain and into a darkened room, where a door led to what I assumed was a back alley. I followed her out and through the narrow walkway as she skirted empty carts and rubbish, our feet crunching light snow.
“This way,” she replied, waving me toward a hidden archway that led into a very narrow strip of dirt.
I was shivering, teeth chattering from the wet snowflakes that fell on my bare arms and neck by the time we entered through a slim door that barely reached my chest. We scrunched down, and once we were inside, she fell back to latch the little door.
We were in a blessedly warm room that was well lit with torches on the wall. The room smelled like camphor and sage, and indeed, when I surveyed the small space, I realized it was an herbalist’s workroom.
“Come with me, and I’ll make us some tea.” She led the way through a curtained-off bedroom, where a small cot sat under a window. A dresser and table and chairs occupied the space. As she put the kettle on in the tiny wall hearth, I sat down on one of the chairs and tried to catch my breath.
I felt hollowed out, physically drained, my mind floating in a blue numbness.
“I’m Esta, by the way.”
I think I nodded, but I wasn’t sure. All I could see in my head was a bleeding of images: Fadon’s expression when he’d seen my osnat, Lucius’ face when I said he’d lied to me, and then Phobius, who was now way more than he’d seemed. All of it was too much, and when I tasted hot tea in my mouth, I sputtered, not aware that I had been sitting here so lost in my thoughts, my body taking over as if to give my mind a break from it.
I needed to pull myself together.
“Thank you, Esta.” The tea was rich and perfect, reviving me. “Now, who are you?”
She was sitting across from me at the small table, where a lovely vase of pearly marble held a short bundle of dried flowers. The window behind me cast her delicate features in soft white light from the snow that was no doubt dusting the pane. She set down her tea and folded her hands on the table.
“I’m an omega like you, but part of a sisterhood, a vast network, if you will, that has been preparing for your arrival for a long, long time.”
For the first time in the past hour or two, my mind cleared. Omega? “How old are you?” She looked younger than me, which would have her at seventeen years or so.
Her smile lit her whole face. “One hundred fifty-two. Amazing, isn’t it?”
Tea forgotten, I leaned forward, wanting to know everything. I had so many questions. Finally, I was meeting another omega.
Her laugh was a tinkling sound. “I can see by your expression that you have a lot you want to ask me, and I’ll be glad to answer, but first things first. The Sapera of Ordelpho said you would be coming here.”
Oh. That. I had almost forgotten all the Ongahri elder had said. “She wanted me to give you something. But I’m sorry, I don’t have it with me.” I didn’t want to be rude and tell her that I had no such intention, since arriving in Ghypsom City, to oblige the old woman. I wanted nothing to do with any of that.
“That’s quite all right. Diana can be very myopic. Which makes sense: she’s only lived within the tribes, never outside of it.”
“Diana? Is that the Sapera’s name?”
She nodded, and the little adornments in her hair, which I noticed were strips of shiny cloth with tiny beads threaded in, danced. “Yes. I’m sure it all sounds like nonsense, but you are the woman in the Ongahri’s prophecy. And really, after learning you’re Omega, and all the fantastical things that result in that…” She motioned to my hair and face. “Well, surely there are other things that are possible in the world.”
That was true. “But a queen of the Ongahri?”
“Prophecies are never easy to decipher. The whole of it was based on a vision. And visions, as I’m sure you know from storybooks, are never literal. But look around you. Winter never comes here. All over Titus, perhaps not the south yet, winter has been brutal and will only worsen. There is unrest among the people, the rich and the poor. Right now, Port Minerva and the capital are in upheaval. Since your becoming Omega, events are unfolding at an exponential rate, Sierra.”
I started at her use of my name. I had never given it to her. More proof that this network she mentioned was plausible. With the weather delaying the post back in Ordelpho, there was no other explanation other than communication through a very different kind of line: of the soul.
A shiver went through me.
“Sometimes, people are born with an extra sense, you might say,” she said thoughtfully. “Dreams that seem too real, that show places and people you’ve never seen or met. Events that you could swear have occurred or will occur. This is common for omegas especially, though no one knows why.”
“Dreams,” I mumbled. Yes. I’ve always had strange dreams, especially about Goth Mor Helle.
Esta’s brown eyes caught my expression. “You know what I speak of, then.”
I nodded. “Ever since I could remember, I’ve dreamed things that seemed removed from me, dreams that felt so real. I could never explain them.”
I thought about the nightmare I’d had that last night in Ordelpho. Lucius on a throne. Fadon finding us; his hurt, his threat to kill my mate. Wasn’t that pretty much what had played out this morning?
Pain pierced my heart as it all came back to me, threatening to swallow me whole.
“I am sorry for your pain, Sierra.”
I looked at her in surprise.
“It’s plain to see something has happened.” She glanced at my osnat. “Your mate. That’s who you were running from?”
Nodding, I picked up my tea and drank, seeking the warmth I knew it promised.
Her dark eyes held sympathy. “Love is both wonderfully tender and as sharp as a glass shard.” Her tone was wistful, as if she had experience with love and had lost. “Like I said, Diana hasn’t any insight into those outside of her tribe, otherwise she would have explained things more… plainly, about the rite, about the prophecy and your role in it.”
I blew out a breath. “Honestly, Esta, all of it sounds so outlandish and a waste of time. My life is already complicated enough.”
“Well, how about you indulge me. I’ll try my best to help clarify some things. Fate isn’t done with you yet, my dear. You’ve been chosen, and the smartest thing to do is accept that fact, regardless if it makes sense.”
She was right. Time for me to surrender to the craziness. I could at least listen. So while she refilled my mug, she had me go through what I remembered from the rite, saying that it was through that that I’d find answers.
I absently named Auria when I was telling her about seeing Demos, and she hummed, knowing exactly who and what Auria was.
Her voice was so soothing, her manner so encouraging, that I wished that she had been there that strange day after I’d gone through the rite. Why hadn’t the Sapera done this?
I told her about my mother, about what had happened with Lucinda and seeing her again, my guilt and unloading my burdens and worries to them.
“Are all the rites the same?” I asked, pausing in my recollection.
“Not at all, no. The rite is about meeting our destinies, facing the blocks that get in the way of moving forward on our journeys. I remember my rite.” She smiled fondly. “It was terribly confusing, and to this day, some of the things I saw there—for it is a there, no matter where our bodies were when we went through it—haven’t made sense until I find myself in the midst of them as I go throughout my life. Right here, for instance, with you. I saw it.”
“You did?” It was unfathomable to me, learning about all of this.
“Indeed. Our destinies were bound to merge. Therefore, it’s a comfort if you look at it like this: everything that led you here happened exactly the way it needed to, Sierra. All the heartache, the strife, the struggle, even the joys. Sadly, the losses as well. Trust in what’s bigger than you.”
An image of Lady Lordes appeared in my mind, followed by a dreadful feeling.
“What?” Esta reached out and touched my wrist. “What did you remember?”
“A forest… snow. A woman weeping. An—an elemental, I think.” I focused ahead of me, then looked at her. “Winter. Yes. There were four. Spring, Summer, Winter… and… is there one for the sea?”
She smiled kindly. “Most definitely. There are elementals for many things.”
I didn’t return the smile, still lost to that vision of the woman freezing in the forest.
“I remember a darkness, an utter maleficence… that was different. Not an elemental. Not at all. A man. An evil man.” I gasped, feeling like that man was, right now, peering over my shoulder, seeking me.
Searching for me.
Words flew out of me before I could connect them to an image or thought. “He watched her. Taunting her. Pressing her. Gods, her pain. And the King and Phobius… who couldn’t be that old, surely? And Lucius. The evil saw me.”
I see you. Do you see me?
“Go on,” Esta whispered.
So I did. I knew I wasn’t making sense, but I couldn”t stop the onslaught of the crisp, cold words flowing out of my mouth. “Roses and too much green. A knowing voice that refused to show her—and it was a her—face, that I wasn’t ready to see her. Not yet? No. Maybe?” I grabbed my head, feeling like it was being squeezed.
Esta patted my hand, which was so very cold against hers in comparison to her warm one. “That’s enough for now. Let me get you some wine. It will help warm you. I’ll be right back.”
By the time she had returned, I was at the window watching the snow fall. Each flake was a ball of white fuzz like the fur from an ermine. The sky was a silver that matched the chain on Lucius’ neck, his eyes. My heart stuttered, and I hastily moved my fingers off my claiming mark, not realizing I’d been touching it. The temptation to reach out through the bond was torturous, but I was too afraid of what I’d find there.
“Here you go.”
I turned, my arms crossed and accepted the metal cup. “So what now? What does it all mean, those visions?”
“It means something bigger than the two of us is coming and you need to be there when it arrives.”
I sighed. “That isn’t helpful.” I took a sip and raised an eyebrow. “This is excellent.”
“I make my own,” she replied, sipping her drink as well.
“Do you have a mate?” I asked, not seeing an osnat on her ankle, wrist, or neck.
She shook her head. “I… well, honestly, I never found anyone that tempted me.” She waved a hand behind her, where the workshop was. “I make my own tonics to avoid the heats, and I stay busy enough. Not many Ongahri here, see, unless they are doing business with the merchants.”
“I see. That was what I wanted before, too. Before—” I touched my neck, my fingertips drifting over the smooth smoky stone embedded in the chain around my throat. “Before I married. I tried the tonics, but… Well, as you said, things happened because they needed to.”
“Those tonics were never meant to work, which I think you know now,” she said simply.
The numbness I’d been feeling parted away like the clouds of Ordelpho as I processed what she’d said. “They were tampered, weren’t they? Gods.”
She nodded, emptying her cup before setting it down gently on the table. “The sisters of Delphos needed you to go through your heat.”
“What right did they have to do something like that?” A sense of pure rage went through me. Farah was the one who had given me my tonic every morning, had been the one to get them replenished once or twice a week. But at least, now, I knew Lucius hadn’t been responsible. “Why would they do that?”
“Because they needed you to move, Sierra. Lucius and you were destined. Still are.”
“But even I didn’t know Lucius was going to be the one to claim me until I was in heat! I could’ve—”
“It was a risk they were willing to take. You had been watched every second you were there.”
Gods, I was tired of these games! “How do you know all this?” Suddenly, I became very suspicious. Who could blame me?
Should I even trust this woman? Had I been so wrapped up in my emotions over what had happened in that Ongahri meeting that I’d simply thrown away logic, blindly following a stranger in a strange city, drinking her tea and wine, and spilling all of my deepest thoughts and secrets to?”
She saw the instant I doubted her. “Now you are ready.” She waved a hand over the dying flowers in the vase on the table. Before my eyes, the blooms were plumping, the stems hydrating, the heads of the dried, brown roses transforming into fragrant silky red blooms.
“You,” I said.
“Yes,” she answered, her voice weaving a blend of all voices, just like in that castle I saw during the rite, the foyer with the three doors. “I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me for the next part in this, Sierra. Be brave, child. It’s for the best. Sometimes we need a few pushes to put us where we need to be. Some more than others.”
“Wha—” but I couldn’t finish. Everything stopped and I knew nothing but black.