Melt His Heart (Flower of Ice #1)

Chapter 1

Losing feels like dying. I’ve felt like this since the first time my skates hit the ice in competition. My twenty-fourth birthday is quickly approaching, so it’s been a while I’ve been living with this suffocating feeling.

Even now, it’s technically off season for other skaters.

But for me, this is a time to prepare and improve, to get ahead of everyone else.

With the world championships looming in the distance, my nerves are at an all-time high.

Especially seeing as this is my entry into the Winter Olympics, winning gold there has always been my ultimate career goal.

The seasons are in that weird grey area of Autumn, but Summer just won’t go away, so the air is still thick with heat on my arrival to America.

I’ve been to the country a few times for competition, but I can’t say I’ve been to this state in particular.

I’m staying in a small town in New Jersey until the competition for specialized training with world-renowned Coach Peters.

He’s a former Olympic gold medalist, and many skaters under him often become not only champions but Olympians themselves.

As I’m approaching the doors to the rink for the first time, I feel hopeful, slightly nervous, but determined.

I nudge my skate bag back up as it’s slipping off my shoulder and open the door.

The cool breeze of the rink feels inviting against my warm skin.

I take in the massive size of the facility.

Honestly, it’s always the first thing I notice every visit to this country; everything is huge.

Coach Peters is waiting for me nearby the benches just outside the ice.

He approaches me with a warm smile on his face.

I shift on my feet and hope my nerves aren’t showing too much.

I’m just so honored to even be given his time.

We’ve only spoken through emails up until now.

I’ve only ever seen him skate on TV, I hope he forgives me if I’m a little star-struck.

“Welcome to New Jersey, Julian!” Coach Peters says excitedly, grasping my hand in a firm handshake.

“Thank you for having me, it’s an honor to be here.”

“Of course, you’re an incredible skater.” I smile faintly. It always feels good hearing my skills being validated, especially by someone so accomplished in the sport.

“Let me show you around.” He says, tilting his head slightly in the direction we’re setting off to first. I let him lead me with a nod.

The main area of the rink is rowdy with voices; there are hockey players making their rounds, the sound of their skates hissing across the ice.

They’re training, I guess. I don’t know much about the game, surprisingly, I never really got to interact much with our team back in Seoul because they use different rinks.

“Oh, just to let you know, we share the ice here with our state hockey team, the New Jersey Scorpions, they’re pretty incredible, made it to the playoffs last year.” I nod, not having much to say, it’s not like I can complain about sharing the ice with them. I’m just grateful to even be here.

“But don’t worry, we all have our allotted times.” Coach Peters adds.

“Sounds good,” I mutter.

He clasps his hands together, “Great. So let’s continue that tour, shall we?”

* * *

The tour was quick; if you’ve been to one rink, you’ve pretty much been to them all, and I’ve been to rinks around the world at this point in my career.

“Thank you so much for showing me around.” He leads me just up to the threshold of the ice, where the players are still running their drills.

“Of course, and the guys should be coming off any time now if you want to give it a go.” I nod. I definitely like the sound of that; nothing feels better than being on the ice for me, I feel alive and safe there.

It’s familiar.

My attention wanders back to the players on the ice for a bit; I have to admit their bodies zipping in routine is rather mesmerizing.

They’re all so in sync with each other, like a dance they’ve done a million times.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like having to be so coordinated with other people.

And yeah, there’s pairs in figure skating, but I definitely don’t think I would be cut out for it, unless I’m the one being lifted.

I pull my skates over to my feet. Today I wanted my first skate to be in my favorite pair, the baby pink laces I added hanging off the sides of my shoes undone. A loud bang against the board jolts me to attention as I begin to tie them.

“Fuck, my bad, did I scare you?” A voice says as I clutch my chest in shock.

I glare up and wonderful, it’s only the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, gazing down at me.

And in figure skating, you see some very beautiful men.

But he’s tall, very tall, all shoulders.

And stupidly, not wearing his headgear. His raven locks are tied loosely at his nape, some strands escaping to lie around his face.

I wonder if he’s Korean too. He looks it. I distract myself by rummaging through my skate bag for absolutely nothing, but it’s better than entertaining any more thoughts of him. He’s already attractive, he doesn’t need to be taking up space in my mind too.

“No, you didn’t.” I retort, trying not to be so annoyed, “But I guess I just forgot how completely crass hockey players can be.”

“Crass.” He repeats back to me in an amused tone, tilting his head.

“Haven’t heard that one before.”

“I believe it.” I roll my eyes and go back to lacing up my skates, rising to go into some light stretches. He laughs before giving me a long and slow once over, my skin starting to feel hot. Turning around, I narrow my eyes at him. Why is he still standing here, watching me, smiling?

He finally starts off after a few more seconds, gliding backwards on the ice. “Well, I’ve gotta get back out there. See ya round!” The hockey player grins and great, he has a perfect smile too?

So perfect, I catch myself staring at him even when he turns around, eventually making it back to his gaggle of teammates. Suddenly, they’re all a bit too loud for me. I hope they’re long gone and off the ice when it’s time for me to train.

* * *

My first skate on the ice felt amazing. It was nothing too serious; just getting a feel for the rink.

Coach Peters did come out and watch me for a bit.

We did some very light run-throughs of my old programs just so he could see where I could use some improvement.

I was a bit anxious at first, but it passed after the first few jumps, which I landed well.

I come off the ice to where he’s waiting.

“Looking good out there. Your landings are clean. But I know you want to change up your program.” He says.

I know I’m a great skater, but I really want to show the judges something different this year. I need to qualify for the Olympics, no matter what.

“Yes, I know it’s a lot to do so soon, but it’s something I really want to work towards,” I say, biting my lip.

Changing up my program is going to be an added challenge, especially since I’m not set on how drastically different I want it to be from my previous programs, which had more of a classical style.

“Don’t worry, we can make that happen. I have a new choreographer set for you already. You’re going to do great. This is definitely doable at your skill level.”

“Thank you, sir. I really appreciate your words.” I nod.

“Of course.”

“Well, let’s cut it short today so you can get settled into good ole Jersey.” He grins, “and let me know if you need anything at all. I’m always on call.” I give him a small nod. Coach pats my arm lightly before he heads off.

I’m feeling so motivated after that session. Hearing him praise me really helps with my nerves and confidence. The need to be a better skater than everyone constantly gnaws at me, and I know it’s not good to compare, but I can’t help it.

The rumble of the Zamboni roaring on the ice signals it’s probably time for me to start heading to the gym for a light workout.

After removing my skates and settling everything in my bag, I catch a glimpse of the hockey player with some of his teammates from earlier.

They must have finished up their allotted gym time, meaning I can exercise in peace.

We lock eyes for a split second, and he gives me a small smile, but I look away, my cheeks running hot.