Chapter 33
“We have to be quiet. Your dad is sleeping.” I whisper. Jules meows, and that’s the first time I’ve heard him make a sound, so it makes me laugh a little. Why is he so tiny? Even his meows are tiny. I pick him up and put him on the chair at the counter before washing my hands.
Carson came in super late from away games, but I fly back home tomorrow. So, today is our last full day together. I want to leave him something he can use.
“Let’s get started, banchan sound good?” I ask Jules, and he just stares at me.
I shake my head. Of course, I would be talking to a cat.
I start on chopping and washing all the vegetables, trying not to be too loud.
He looked absolutely exhausted when he got back.
I felt so bad. The team has been doing great, but I know just how much it takes to be and stay great as an athlete.
I feel like this is a small thing, but I hope he likes it.
By the time I’m finished preparing, cooking, and packaging everything, the sun is peeking over the clouds. Jules fell asleep at some point, but he’s rising into a stretch now, a little yawn escaping his mouth. I want to take him with me. I want to take them both with me.
“Baby, why you up so early?” Carson says, sleep still in his voice as he pads into the kitchen area.
“Oh, I was just a little restless, so I decided to get up. Didn’t want to wake you.” I smile, wiping my hands on a towel.
“Oh yeah? So, what’s all this?” He says, a grin spreading across his face as he gets closer. He’s not wearing his glasses yet. Carson leans down over the food and chuckles.
My heart flutters.
I think he likes it, hopefully it’s good.
“Nothing, just some stuff. I’m going to put this away really quickly and…” I say right before he strides over and wraps his arms around my waist. Carson nuzzles into my neck, his stubble ticklish against my skin.
“You’re the sweetest thing. I just wanna eat you.”
“Stop, that tickles!” I yelp as he rubs his nose against me and nips right under my ear, that’s now burning with embarrassment.
“I’ll never stop, I fucking love you.” He purrs, my body tenses in his hold, “Carson, let me put the food away first.” I whine. His dick is already hardening against my thigh.
“Alright, but then we go back to bed, and you let me show some more very fun things before you leave me.” He says, his words lighting up every nerve in my lower body.
“You’re making it sound like I want to go.” I laugh, squirming, but really I just want a little friction. He’s making us both needy.
“I mean, you are the one getting on the plane.” Carson laughs and finally lets me go, “Anyways, thank you so much, baby. This was very sweet of you. I’m not sharing, though, so…” He says before taking a bite of the bean sprouts.
“Why, of course, you aren’t,” I say, rolling my eyes, “I’m going to separate some for Liam and Kevin though.”
“Uh, yeah, no, Liam and Kevin can get their own boyfriend who cooks for them.”
“Carson, what are you talking about?” I sigh.
“I’m serious. Come to bed.” He smirks and starts attacking my neck again.
* * *
Today is the day I fly back home. The car is quiet save for the soothing RnB playlist that’s been filling the space. I’m almost wishing we’d get a flat tire or something right now. I can’t say I didn’t cry while Carson was in the shower last night.
Usually, I like to get to the airport as early as possible, but this time I tried to savor every last minute, wanting to be with Carson just one more second.
What I wouldn’t do for one more day, I know he would be upset, though.
I can’t avoid my responsibilities for much longer.
I don’t think I’m ready for any of it. The fame or the pressure, if I could skate without any of it, I would, but I’ve become something much bigger than just a skater back home.
It kind of spiraled out of my control. My last session with Holly actually centered around that, if I’m being honest.
I’m a bit afraid.
I probably need her now more than ever, so hopefully we can work out a schedule when I’m back home.
“Ready?” He asks when he’s done parking the car.
“No.”
“I know. Me neither.” He frowns, reaching over and kissing me.
“Don’t, I won’t leave. Please.”
“Alright.” He whispers.
We get my luggage out and head inside. I check everything in, and we go as far as Carson can go, right before the security check.
This is it.
I take a deep breath, my heart constricting, the tears burning already. He looks like we’re being torn apart. And to be honest, we are. It physically feels like we are.
“Don’t think about it, just think about how I’ll see you very soon.”
“Easier said than done.” I chuckle.
“I know. This fucking sucks,” he pulls me into a tight hug, “I’m going to miss you every single fucking second we’re apart, Juyeon.”
Tears spill from my eyes, wetting the front of his shirt. I can feel him sniffling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carson cry. I pull away, wiping his tears the way he does mine.
“I’m going to miss you too.”
“Thank you for everything,” I say softly.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?” I chuckle.
“Like I’ll never see you again.” He says, his eyes softening.
“Ok.” He leans down and presses a kiss to my lips. Carson threads his fingers into my hair. I whimper a little into his mouth, melting into his body.
“I’m gonna miss those fucking sounds.”
“God, you’re such a pervert!” I swat his chest. We had so much sex leading up to now, every part of me is still sore, parts I didn’t even know could get sore.
“Alright, your plane is gonna leave you if you don’t get going, or I’ll kidnap you back to my place.”
“Neither of those sound too horrible right now,” I say, making both of us laugh, “baby, you need to go!” He says.
“Alright, alright, bye, Jaeyoung,” I say, walking backwards toward the security line, waving at him as I go. I blow him a kiss, “See you soon, Juyeon-ah.” He catches it.
The last thing I see is his smile. The same smile he was wearing the day I met him.