Chapter 34 Lucas
lucas
Lettie: We’re waiting for you at the ranch. See you soon, mi amor.
God, I love when she calls me that. Mi amor. It softens every part of me that ever said I wasn’t worthy of love. She was talking about getting married, to me, and the thought still leaves my chest with all kinds of warm and fuzzies.
I can already see it, little blonde, curly-haired versions of us running around the ranch.
Lettie glowing, round, and laughing without a care in the world.
The thought makes me smile like an idiot.
On a plane, thirty something thousand feet in the air isn’t exactly the best place to get excited.
Especially when you’re surrounded by teammates who haven’t stopped giving you shit for the hallway make-out session earlier.
I have no regrets, except maybe not pulling her into a dark room somewhere.
I can’t deplane fast enough. The thought of my favorite people at home waiting for me…
It's something I never thought I’d be fortunate enough to have.
Tossing my bag into the back of my jeep, I look over my shoulder at Wilder, “Your wife is at the ranch. Meet you there?”
His lovestuck smile is mirrored on my own face. I freaking love, love. “Yeah, I’m going to stop and get muffins, though. Rhonda just said they made a fresh batch and is waiting for me to come get them.” I bite back a groan, my teeth digging into my bottom lip.
Rhonda owns Beautiful Pour, the team's favorite coffee shop, with her daughters. They make the most delicious pastries, and Hannah and Wilder are loyal to their blueberry muffins. He stops and gets them anytime they tell him they’re fresh.
“See ya at the ranch then. Be careful.” I call, tapping the top of my jeep twice.
The wind whips through my open windows, sending my hair in every direction. I should stop for flowers. Dad always said never show up empty-handed, so I do just that. A detour, ten minutes tops. The florist hands me a bouquet of sunflowers, and I grab a cute little teddy bear to go with it.
Lucas: Made a pit stop, on my way now. ETA 45 minutes.
Scarlett: Got it. See you soon.
Lucas: Can’t wait. I love you.
I bounce in my seat, weightless for the first time in what feels like forever. My favorite song, "Cool Anymore," comes on, and I crank the volume up. The bass vibrating my car as I fly down the freeway.
Then my ringtone slices through my happy thoughts. Miller’s name flashes across the screen. I smile as I swipe to answer his call.
“Hey, Miller.” I sing.
He’s gasping, “Lucas, don’t come here. Stay in the city.”
My blood runs cold. Scarlett’s there. Hannah and Abby are there. “What? The girls–” I say frantically.
“The girls are fine. You aren’t. Stay–” The rest of what he was saying dies as my phone tumbles from my hand, the crunch of metal has me tensing as something slams into my rear bumper. My world explodes into motion. The jeep fishtails, gravel spraying the windshield.
“Shit!” I wrench the wheel, fighting to straighten out. In the rearview mirror, I see the white truck. The same damn truck that’s been hanging around the ranch for months.
“Lucas!” I hear Miller’s voice yell through the phone on the floor, but I can’t answer. I’m too focused on the truck speeding up behind me again.
In this moment, I wonder, is this how my dad felt when he died? Did a thread of hopelessness anchor in his chest as everything that was waiting for him at home started to float away? Did he tell me he loved me even though he knew I’d never hear it?
Did he wish for just one more moment? That he would have spent more time with me, the way I’m wishing I could have had one more moment with Lettie?
The truck hits me again, harder this time.
The Jeep slides on the dirt road. My head bouncing off the steering wheel, disorienting me for a second.
“You and me forever, Lettie Girl,” I whisper as I fight to stay awake.
She’s worth the fight, she’s worth everything.
I can’t let them win, not now. Not after I just got her back. But as life would have it, other plans prevail when the truck hit me for a third time, sending me headfirst into a tree. The impact tears breath from my lungs.
Gasoline. I can smell it, sharp and nauseating.
I try to move, but my arms feel like they’re filled with lead. A wet substance, blood, I’m assuming, trickles down my temple. My eyes drift closed, just for a second.
“Come on, kiddo. You can’t stay here.” That voice. Familiar. Impossible.
My head lolls toward it. A figure backlit by the setting sun, with broad shoulders, the same jawline as mine.
“Dad?” I groan. “No, send me back. I have to marry Lettie. She has to have my babies.”
“Lucas, you can do all those things, but you have to get up. We can’t stay here.” The voice says again. “They’ll come back.”
My chest heaves, confusion tangling with pain. “You… How? Why?” My voice pitching with every question.
His eyes soften, but his grip stays tight, “I had to disappear, son. It was the only way to keep you safe. I failed your mom. But I won’t fail you.” Flames lick at the hood of the Jeep, the heat building. I’m tired of fire, I’m starting to get a complex.
“Dad, Scarlett. I need her.”
“I know.” He looks past me, scanning the tree line. “They’re coming back. We move now, or neither of us walks away.”
“What the hell is going on?” I yell.
He sighs, “Look, the same men who were after me are now after you two.” His eyes connect with mine, fierce and wet, and a fear I’d never seen in him dances with the reflection of the flames. “It’s time to end it.”
The sound of an engine revs in the distance. He curses under his breath. “Up, Lucas. Now!”
I try, I really do, but my legs won’t cooperate. “Dad, I can’t…”
“You can. You always could.” His hands grip my face, my tears finally breaking free as I look into the eyes I’ve begged to see one more time. “You’re my heart and your mother’s stubbornness. Don’t waste either.”
The roar of the fire grows behind us. He yanks me from the car and behind the line of trees just as the jeep combusts, heat slamming into our backs as we both hit the dirt.
I blink through the smoke, disoriented but reaching out for him. “Dad…” But he’s gone.
“Find the truth, kiddo. End it.” Filters through my ears, then silence and darkness take over. Leaving me to believe this was all some really jacked-up dream. My heart, that was full before, now ripped down the seam once again.
“Goldie, wake up.” Her voice sounds pained, and it rips straight through the fog around me. “Please wake up.” I try to open my eyes, but they’re too heavy.
I try, God do I try. But I can’t feel my body, it’s like I’m floating above it. Here, but not. Is this the afterlife? Suspended somewhere in between, my body and soul ready to go, but my heart still tethered to the woman begging me to wake up?
“Damn it, Lucas.” Her head drops to my shoulder, wetness seeps through the itchy fabric I now feel on my shoulder, bringing me back down.
Back to her. “You can’t leave me.” A sob tears from her, vibrating against my collarbone.
“You gotta wake up so I can tell you what happened. It’s been weeks since your accident. ” Weeks?!
Her voice cracks, “I’m drowning without you, Goldie.”
Her distress drags me down further, back toward the weight of my body. I fight to find my way out of the darkness, searching for her voice until I manage the smallest groan.
“Lucas?” The hopeful plea in her voice propels me into the light.
My eyes flutter open. The fluorescent light burns, shapes start to sharpen, but everything is too white, too sterile.
I blink until the brightness softens, and she comes into focus.
Lettie. My Lettie. Her eyes are swollen, still my favorite shade of brown, and beautiful as ever.
Her relief is palpable as her shoulders soften, then she’s on me.
Collapsing against my chest, sobbing into the hollow of my throat.
“Don’t you dare do that to me again.” She mutters against my skin.
A grunt leaves me on impact. “Lettie,” my voice is rough, raspy in a way I’ve never heard it. “Where is he?”
She pulls back, brows drawn tight. “Where’s who?”
“My dad.”
Her mouth falls open, head shaking softly. “He pulled me out of the car. Where is he?”
“Your… Lucas, no.” Her words get softer, like I’m made of glass. “Miller pulled you out. Maybe… maybe you thought it was him with all the adrenaline.”
“No,” I whisper. “He called me kiddo.”
She doesn’t answer. The silence stretches until the awful beeping of the machines fills it.
The feelings are too much, the pain in my head threatens to pull me under.
It’s too bright in here. Too cold, the beeping from the machines I’m hooked up to makes me want to explode. I don’t want to do this anymore.
I’m alive when I shouldn’t be. I shut my eyes, blocking it all out. I don’t want to think about the possibility that I imagined this, him. He was there. I saw his eyes. Heard his voice. But now, it’s just another loss. One more thing that life decided to take from me.
At this point, giving in to the darkness nipping at the edge of my consciousness sounds easier than fighting for my happy ending.