Chapter 4
Sam
Leaning against the stall, Sam’s mouth watered as the waffles cooked on the pan in front of her.
The sweet, hot air lifted her spirits, and she threw a smile at Finn who was paying for the strawberries and melted chocolate pot at the next stand.
He winked back and her heart caught in her chest. He was looking at her a little differently, as if he was maybe flirting with her—which he couldn’t possibly be.
Flirting wasn’t something they did. He was probably trying to take her mind off losing the Valestré sponsorship, but that wasn’t something she’d easily get over.
No. But it was good of him to try, so she’d do her best to be more cheerful.
It was the least she could do. Tilting her head, she waited for him to rejoin her.
“Here, get this into you.” He speared a chocolate-coated strawberry and held it out to feed her. Grinning, she gently took his hand and guided the strawberry into her mouth. His hand trembled under her touch, and she let go.
“Are you okay?” she mumbled around the strawberry. “You’re shaking.”
“Cold,” Finn said. “Just cold. I think it’s going to snow all night. Good for your qualie tomorrow.”
Sam wiped the chocolate from her lips. He was lying; she knew it.
He was avoiding looking directly at her.
And he kept pressing his lips together the way he always did when he wasn’t happy about something.
There was definitely something in the air, not just the snow or her lost sponsorship, nor the prevailing desire to win at the Games.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it felt a little like nervousness, only it wasn’t radiating from everyone.
It seemed to come from just her, and from Finn.
He definitely seemed to be a little on edge, and he definitely did not want to talk about whatever was making him so nervous.
“Can you believe it?” Sam said as she took the hot waffle from the stallholder.
“We made it, Finn. Pinch me! I can hardly believe it. We’re actually at the Olympics together.
You’re already through to a final, and I have the first of my qualies tomorrow—the big air.
And I know it’s one of my favorites but, oh God, I’m so nervous. What if I mess it up?”
“You won’t mess up because you’re so nervous.
Think about it—it would be weird not to be nervous,” Finn said.
“Listen, I was so scared in the run-up to Beijing that I went way past nerves. I went too hard and was too intent on winning that last International Ski and Snowboard Federation qualifying competition. I think it’s what messed me up.
I should’ve just stayed nervous, then maybe I wouldn’t have injured myself.
Nerves mean you’re ready; I think being scared is worse. ”
“Oh.” Sam felt a weight in her stomach. “I didn’t realize you were … scared.”
“And I didn’t want to go without you, of course,” Finn said.
“Yeah, yeah, blame me why don’t ya!” Sam cradled the waffle in her hands, enjoying the heat and the sweet smell.
“Well, there was an element of that,” Finn said. “Just a little.”
Sam glanced up at him. “Really?”
“Yeah, but don’t tell your dad.”
“I won’t.” Sam looked away. Finn wasn’t himself.
She wished she could blame it on the Games, but it wasn’t just that.
It was something else. Ever since she’d gotten here, he’d been a little bit worried.
No, that wasn’t it. And he wasn’t anxious.
She’d never seen her friend like this, like an avalanche waiting to happen.
She felt that one loud noise could set him off.
And Leo’s proposal to Becky seemed to have gotten to him.
Well, the whole night had gotten to her too.
They walked around the market for a while, then to the edge of town and stared up at the mountains.
Standing in the silence, staring up at the mountains she’d be competing on, Sam felt like it was a monumental task that she wasn’t quite ready for.
Now that her dream was happening, a fear of losing was beginning to swamp her.
“It feels surreal to be here—I mean to be here competing,” Finn said as he wiped his fingers on the tiny napkin the stallholder had provided. “I think this is my first time to really feel the … pressure.”
Sam looked at him. His face was still as he contemplated the mountains.
The streetlamps highlighted his cheekbones and made his hair look even darker than it was.
He took her hand and squeezed it tightly and pursed his lips together, and although she couldn’t feel her toes by that stage, she didn’t want to leave.
The hotel room she was sharing with Maya held no appeal for her, not when she could be here, in the snow with her best friend.
“The pressure.” Sam leaned against him, slipping her arm into his so they were linked together. “Yeah, I feel it too but, Finn, we can’t let it get to us.”
“I know.” He sounded sad. “But what if we don’t bring home a medal, Sam? What then?”
“I don’t know,” Sam replied. “We try for 2030?”
“Really—2030?” Finn’s voice deepened as if he was laden with troubles.
“Why not?” Sam’s eyes widened. “Isn’t an Olympic medal the goal?”
Finn nodded. “I suppose. I just thought that we’d both have one each by now, and that we could …”
“Could what?” Sam held her breath. Was he possibly talking about their pact? Hardly.
“Move on with our lives,” Finn said.
“Move on?” Sam let go of his arm. “Do you mean …” she paused, not wanting to bring up the promise they’d made each other in case that wasn’t what he meant “… not … ski?”
Finn nodded. Then he shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Don’t you ever think about a life beyond all of this?”
“A life beyond all of this,” Sam said thoughtfully.
What would a life beyond all of this mean?
She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to picture what might happen if they won the medals they’d dreamed of since they were teenagers.
Would he remember their promise? Would he follow through on his word?
What if he didn’t want that life—a life with her—anymore? Would he go away and find a life with someone else—someone who wouldn’t tolerate Sam in his life? That was a possibility, one that she didn’t want to ever think about.
Opening her eyes she said quietly, “I’ve never let myself imagine a life beyond all of this.”
Finn shrugged and said nothing. The still of the night enveloped them both as they stood at the foot of the mountains that held the answers to all of their dreams, to all that they’d worked so hard for.
Crunching footsteps behind them made Sam turn.
Maya, swamped in a huge satsuma-colored down coat, was taking a picture of them, her bare hands pink from the cold.
“You guys won’t believe how cute you two look right now.
” She slipped a pair of matching mittens on, her nose scrunching up as she did.
“These are a nuisance. I forgot my touchscreen gloves. Left them on the bed back home. Me. Can you imagine! I never forget anything.” She joined them.
“What are you doing out here? It’s really cold. ”
“She’s right,” Finn said. “We should probably get back. I’ve a four thirty alarm call.”
“Six thirty for me.” Sam frowned as Finn walked ahead of them.
Maya didn’t seem to notice anything was going on. She linked her arm with Sam’s and together they trudged toward their hotel, waving at Finn as he diverted toward his own hotel just down the street from theirs, which was where Coach Harrington and the skiing team were based.
“Jammy,” Maya said as she took in the glamour of Finn’s hotel: a large three-story modern-style chalet with a huge front porch and a swish-looking bar.
“I wish we’d gotten that hotel—ours is gorgeous but it’s not a patch on this one.
You could be in there, you know, in a real bed, with a kitchen—like Finn has.
How did he manage to pull that one—get a suite—while we got a room that’s on their website as The Classic Double? ”
“You forgot the hot tub.” Sam laughed. “He got the suite with the hot tub.”
“There’s a hot tub?” Maya squeaked. “You’re kidding me.”
“I’m not.” Sam nudged her. “He even has two floors, and the hot tub is on the top deck—and it has a mountain view.”
“Dear Lord, will you stop tormenting me!” Maya shook her head. “Listen, I know you’re trying to be Miss Independent, and I know that you have beef with your dad and don’t want to be in the same space as him—but we could be in that hot tub right now!”
“It’s not worth it,” Sam said. She considered telling Maya about the lost sponsorship but decided against it. “He’d think that I’ve forgiven him for leaving us, and I haven’t. It’s hard enough that he’s still my coach … I don’t think I could share a hotel with him.”
Maya blew a curl from her eyes. “I know … but seriously forget about the hot tub. Think about the bed! Finn said his bed is enormous—that it’s the most comfortable bed he’s ever slept in.”
“Gah!” Sam snorted. “I’m sure—and he’d be the expert there—he’s slept in a lot of beds.”
Chuckling, Maya pulled the card key to their room from her mitten as they kicked the snow from their boots outside their hotel. “I’ve heard tales about how good he is in bed.”
Sam covered her ears. “I don’t want to know! Argh! Maya! He’s like a brother to me! Stop!”
Maya laughed as they went inside, pulling off their snow jackets as they made their way to the mirrored lift at the end of the warm and cozy lobby.
Sam was more than happy with their hotel.
It wasn’t as plush as Finn’s, true, but it was a step up from the accommodation she knew some of the athletes had suffered through at other events.
She missed Finn being close by, but their room allocations were out of their control, and they were going to be together during the day, so it really didn’t matter that much.