Chapter 10 #2
“Night,” she said quietly, then turned and stepped out into the cold night air, questions trailing after her like falling snow.
Behind her the fun was only getting started in the bar.
The heavy beat of a club classic started up and the crowd roared in appreciation.
Sam walked away, loneliness curling in her stomach.
She didn’t want to leave Finn. Touching her lips softly, she wished he’d come with her.
She wanted his arms around her—for real—not for their plan.
She power-walked past other revelers and bars that were filled to capacity.
It was as if everyone was in party mode.
The town was electric. Sam sighed as she caught a couple kissing passionately outside a closed store, unafraid of who saw them.
She wanted that—wanted to kiss Finn in front of everyone out in the open.
Her shoulders drooped. Clearly, he didn’t, or he’d be right beside her, walking her back to her hotel, but here she was, striding through the bitterly cold night alone, her heart longing for him and feeling more heartsore with each passing moment.
Maybe this fake-dating idea wasn’t the best plan, and there was no one she could talk to about it, because Finn was the person she always went to when she needed someone—and now she couldn’t.
A flash of anger flared up inside her—this was the first time she’d ever felt like she couldn’t talk freely with him, and it was horrible.
She cringed at her own pathetic behavior, at how she’d simpered and fallen completely for his act.
Her hands curled into fists as confusion and frustration built up inside her.
Hell, back in the shower he’d behaved as if they were together.
But that was when they were in the shower and not seen by anyone, and then there was earlier—he’d walked as fast as he could, as if he couldn’t wait to get away from her.
He even let her go when his fans had been taking photos of them and then had put on an act in the bar on Maya’s command.
It was as if it was all for show, that there was nothing else to it.
It hadn’t always been like that though. Once upon a time he’d been crazy for her, but that was years ago.
Prom night. That one moment she should’ve seized, but instead she’d made him a promise to put their careers first. Huffing, Sam felt tears prickle at the backs of her eyes.
Maybe he didn’t remember that night the way she did.
Maybe he didn’t remember saying that they could revise the plan later.
She’d tucked that little nugget of hope away in her heart, waiting for the moment he would say it was time to think about it all over again.
Had she imagined him saying it—had she projected her own desires on her memories for all these years?
“Sam! Hold up!”
Sam turned around and inwardly groaned as her brother gamboled toward her, his limp more pronounced than it had been in a while. The last thing she wanted right now was company, but he seemed a little down, as if he really didn’t want to be alone.
“Hey,” she said as he fell in step beside her. “Your leg—is it sore?”
He grimaced. “It’s the cold—it makes everything ache like it happened yesterday.”
“Oh.” Sam glanced at Leo. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, thanks.” Leo didn’t look at her. “I’ll be fine. Well done today, by the way.”
“I sucked.” Sam shrugged. “And got an earful from Dad.”
Leo nodded. “Don’t let him get to you, Sam. You have what it takes.”
“Thanks,” Sam said. “But shouldn’t you be rooting for Becky?”
“I am rooting for Becks.” Leo smiled. “Doesn’t mean I can’t root for you too—you’re my only sister, and I know what it’s like to have Dad come down on you so hard.”
“It’s like he’s angry with me, or something.” Sam sighed. “I mean, Valestré?”
“Becky was shocked to get it. And she’s a little afraid to talk to you now.”
“What?” Sam shook her head. “She shouldn’t be. It’s not her fault.”
“No, it’s not.” Leo nodded. “But you’ve not been as friendly with her lately, and she—we—figured that was why.”
Sam gaped. “No! Well, yeah, I was put out by it, but Leo, I blame Dad. Not Becky.”
Leo shrugged, his gaze distant as he adjusted his weight, the old hurt in his eyes flashing briefly. “Kinda hard to know that, Sam, when you weren’t talking to us.”
Sam’s chest tightened. She hadn’t realized how distant she’d been.
“I felt like everything was slipping out of my control, Leo. Between Dad pushing me, and then Becky getting the deal—” She cut herself off, hurt bubbling up inside her like a hot spring. “It was like he was trying to replace me, you know.”
Leo stopped walking, his jaw clenching. “You think that’s bad?
Imagine how it felt when you started taking my place.
When everything I’d worked for was … just gone.
” His voice was low, almost a whisper. It hit Sam like a sudden wipeout on the slopes.
Hard, sudden and painful. Guilt flooded her chest.
“What do you mean?”
Leo swallowed hard. “I told myself never to tell you this … but God, Sam … the car accident, and my leg—it ruined my life. I had my shot—my dream. And then just like that it was over—and he turned to you almost immediately. I’d barely had time to recover before he was talking about you and your chances, your training sessions, your talent.
” He gestured vaguely, his voice cracking.
“And it killed me a little, you know. I was supposed to be the one. I wasn’t supposed to be sitting on the sidelines.
And he never ever, not once, said sorry for that day—the accident shouldn’t have happened.
” He swiped at his nose, his eyes glistening with tears.
“He was supposed to be driving, and I should’ve said no when he told me to, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. And then Mom …”
“Leo. It wasn’t your fault. I know that,” Sam choked out, tears welling in her eyes.
Watching her brother fall apart like this made her feel sick.
She wanted to apologize, to say something to make it better.
“And I didn’t want to take your place—you must know that.
But I felt like Dad … he made it clear that I had to carry the torch.
” She paused, meeting his gaze. “I never wanted to replace you, Leo. I just didn’t know what to do when everything changed. ”
Leo’s face softened, but there was still an edge to his voice. “I know, Sam. But sometimes it feels like that’s exactly what happened. I don’t blame you—no more than you blame Becky. Dad has always had his own agenda, and I guess that now we’ve both been on the end of his ambitions.”
Sam looked down at her boots. They started walking again, slower this time, as if they didn’t want to reach the hotel too quickly. “Do you ever wish it had been different? That Dad hadn’t pushed us so hard? That we could’ve just … skied and boarded because we loved it?”
Leo gave a quiet laugh. “All the time. I used to sneak away to glade ski with Ryan, and it was heaven—no Dad yelling at me like it was life or death.”
“You never said that before.”
“Didn’t feel like I could.” He hesitated. “And after the accident … I didn’t know who I was anymore. It was too painful to get back out there, and after a while I didn’t want to. You were on the rise, and I’d faded away like a ghost.”
Horrified, Sam wiped tears away from her cheeks. “You’re not a ghost. You’re my big brother. And I miss you—I miss us.”
“I miss us too.” Leo’s voice was gentler. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to dump this on you—that wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to say good luck tomorrow.”
Sam nodded, a small breath of relief catching in her throat. “Thanks, brother.”
“Anytime, sister.” Leo smiled.
“You coming in?” Sam nodded as the hotel came into view.
Leo shook his head. “Trying to soak in as much of the atmosphere as I can, seeing as I can stay out as late as I like.”
Sam laughed. “Now that’s what I call looking on the bright side.”
“That’s me! Mr. Brightside.” Leo looked sheepish. “Thanks, Sam. For talking. See you tomorrow.”
Sam climbed the hotel steps, pausing to look back at Leo as he walked away.
Her eyes stung in the cold, her cheeks too, where her tears were still damp.
That was a conversation she’d never imagined happening.
She rubbed at her cheeks, hoping she didn’t look as emotionally shattered as she felt.
The hotel doors slid open, and a blast of heat greeted her.
Pausing to check her face in a lobby mirror, Sam spied Gabriel behind her in the reflection.
He was sitting alone at the hotel bar. She turned around.
His lanyard swung lightly around his neck: Gabriel Hawke, Global Sports Network.
He raised his glass at her, and she nodded back at him, then glanced behind her as his eyes flicked past her.
What on earth … ah, she smiled. He was looking for Maya—he had to be.
Why else would he look behind her like that?
The only answer was for Maya, especially as she was usually at Sam’s side. Her phone buzzed with a text from Maya.
Are you still awake? I’m coming back to the room.
Sam smiled and fired off her reply.
I’m awake all right—I’m walking into the hotel bar and about to say hello to Gabriel Hawke.
Maya’s reply was almost instantaneous.
Do not move! I am on my way. Hubba hubba SMASH!
Sam giggled, glad to have something lighter to focus on.
Maya had had her eyes on Gabriel since Finn had first competed against him a few years ago, long before she’d had the nerve to get Sam to introduce her to him last month.
And since then, the pair seemed to create sparks whenever they were in the same room, but so far neither Maya nor Gabriel had made any move toward the other. Maybe this time something would happen.
Sam stifled a grin as she waved over at Gabriel where he stood casually leaning against the bar, one foot raised on the foot rail, and a crystal glass of whiskey in his hand.
In the twinkling fairy lights Gabriel looked as if he was posing for a GQ article.
His well-fitted deep blue cashmere sweater contrasted beautifully with the twinkle-lit background; his jacket hung open effortlessly.
He took a sip from his whiskey as she made her way over to him, then slipped his hand into his dark jeans pocket.
As usual, he exuded a quiet, comfortable yet commanding presence, and an elegance that only someone with his Italian heritage could get away with.
The whole scene looked like it belonged on a postcard.
The warm spicy scent of his whiskey mingled with something richer—dark chocolate and spice, maybe even a hint of clove.
His aftershave was bound to make Maya’s mouth water.
Sam smiled as his dark eyes still searched behind her.
Yes, he was definitely keeping an eye out for Maya.
“Gabe,” she said. “Hi, fancy seeing you here. I thought you’d be with the rest of the press crew.”
Gabriel shook his head. “That scene isn’t for me. They’re … how can I say this without getting myself into trouble …” He paused, glancing around to make sure they weren’t going to be overheard.
“I won’t tell anyone.” Sam smiled, leaning in slightly. “Promise.”
He smiled and she could see why Maya was so into him. His smile was energizing, his laugh deep and real. “Let’s just say that the press room has more egos than the changing room ever had.”
Sam giggled. “That’s saying a lot.”
He nodded. “Isn’t it? Honestly, I don’t fit in there—they think I’m not one of them.”
“I get it,” Sam said. “Strange way to be when they’d be out of a job without us. Do you ever regret retiring?”
“Good point, and no, strangely enough. I thought I would but I’m enjoying this side of things, being able to analyze jumps without being in competition with anyone.” He nodded to the barman. “Can I get you a drink—to celebrate you getting into tomorrow’s final?”
“No, thanks though.” Sam shrugged. “It wasn’t my best run. Not much to celebrate really.”
“What?” Gabriel squinted at her. “Don’t be silly. You’re at the Olympics, dealing with the most amount of pressure you’ll ever be under in your career—and your very first run got you a place in the final. That’s huge.”
Sam looked down. How could she explain it to Gabriel Hawke? The man had won his first Olympic medal in the very first event he’d competed in, and he’d been only twenty-two. He’d always seemed so self-assured, calm and collected, whereas she felt like a hot mess ninety-nine percent of the time.
“We’re not all as put together as you are,” she said, gently smiling at him. “I remember when you took that gold—you were as cool as a cucumber.”
“I wasn’t,” Gabriel said before taking a sip of his whiskey. “I was lucky, but you—you have what it takes. No one in this competition has what you have—they’re all watching you and measuring up to you. You remember that tomorrow.”
A warm sensation washed over Sam. No one had spoken so positively to her about her performance today. Not even Finn. She opened her mouth to reply, but Gabriel’s attention wasn’t on her anymore, which could only mean one thing: Maya had entered the building.
Gabriel cleared his throat, and Sam bit her lip, loving how his eyes lit up on seeing her friend.
“There you are!” Maya blazed into the hotel bar, causing heads to turn and conversations to falter as her undeniable energy and sassiness filled the room.
“Look at you.” She paused, mid blaze, to look Gabriel up and down.
“A real-life, walking, talking GQ spread. What do you think about my girl here?”
Gabriel gave Maya the once-over in return. “I was trying to buy her a drink to celebrate—”
“Uh-oh—no,” Maya said, waggling her finger at him. “She’s already had her quota for the night, and she needs to go to bed.”
“And what about you—do you need to go to bed too?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow suggestively at Maya. Sam watched in awe as her friend fluttered her eyelashes at the man of her dreams and as Gabriel all but melted in front of her. How did she do that?
“Need?” Maya pouted. “Maybe. Not right now though. Right now, I’m heading upstairs with my girl to plan her big day tomorrow. Goodnight now, sweet dreams.” Sam struggled to hold back a giggle as Maya blew Gabriel a kiss while simultaneously pushing Sam toward the exit.
“You are one class act, Maya Adams.” Sam broke into peals of laughter as they stood by the elevator. “How do you do it?”
“Watch and learn, honey, watch and learn.” Maya sashayed into the lift, leaving Gabriel Hawke watching her every move. “Now, bedtime for my girl—let’s get that medal tomorrow!”