Chapter 12
Sam
Spirits lifted, Sam listened happily to Maya’s chatter as they made their way out of the gym. Likes and comments on the Instagram carousel were coming in hard and fast since Maya had posted it only minutes ago. It was as if people were waiting for any news of her and Finn.
Sam sucked on her bottom lip as a teeny bit of guilt made her stomach flutter.
She’d purposefully tilted her hips backwards fully knowing that Finn would be uncomfortable, or maybe even turned on, and Maya had fully got his reaction, and now the whole world knew his reaction too.
But it was for their cause—they had to get a sponsorship deal, and soon. Finn would understand, wouldn’t he?
“I’m heading this way,” Maya said, pausing as they walked down the main street. “What are you going to do?”
Sam paused outside a store. Throwing a glance in the window she nodded toward the door. “I think I’ll mooch around a few stores, might pick up something to remind me of all of this.”
“Great idea.” Maya had her head back in her phone again. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
Sam watched Maya stroll away. Twisting her lips she turned back to the window and almost laughed when she realized it was the Montalier outlet store.
Moving away she strolled down the street, half paying attention to the crowds and stores.
A young girl pointed her out to the woman she was with.
Sam waved and the young girl jumped up and down while the woman smiled and gratefully mouthed thank you.
Sam nodded her head and walked on. It was the first time she’d ever been recognized in the street.
It felt good, and weird. For a moment she had an inkling of what Finn felt when people pointed him out on the street.
Her heart beat a little faster when she thought of him, and the sense of guilt she’d had earlier grew larger inside her.
She shouldn’t have done that, not when she’d told him they needed to concentrate on the Games.
Although why exactly it wasn’t fair, she couldn’t quite figure out.
Was it unfair to her—or to him? He hadn’t said anything about what he wanted from her.
The little voice in her head piped up again with a neither have you.
Shoving her hands into her jacket pockets she tried to silence the voice, but it kept making comments on how she’d behaved: you’re sending him mixed signals; you should say how you feel, tell him what’s in your heart. What have you to lose?
She walked faster, as if she could outwalk the voice, but the question kept popping back up.
What did she have to lose? Him! She’d lose him if she told him everything that was in her heart.
And she’d never do that. It was dangerous.
Memories of her mom in the months following the car accident flooded her mind.
The painful therapies, the tests, the final diagnosis that she was paralyzed and needed a chair and assistance.
Her mom’s sunniness in spite of her obvious pain.
And then Leo’s darkness and how he’d turned in on himself, refusing counselling and blaming himself for everything.
She remembered the day she’d found her mom’s ice skates in the trash—the fact that her mom had preferred throwing out her practically new skates instead of putting them in the charity box hadn’t been lost on Sam.
But it had been the distance her dad had put between them all as he struggled to deal with his wife’s and son’s injuries that had hurt them all the most. Then it was the day he’d moved out, without any warning or explanation.
He’d just packed his things and rented an apartment near the gym and that was that. He was gone.
All the years of their marriage seemed to have been thrown in the trash, just like her mom’s skates had been.
That had been what had broken her mom the most. The way he’d bailed on her when she’d needed him, the way he wouldn’t answer her calls and only came by the house when she was gone to her doctor.
It had sent her mom into a deep depression, but it had pulled Leo out of his.
His rage had been unbelievable, and he’d had to be held back more than once when he’d met his dad on the street, or at the snow park.
He’d finally broken down and seen a therapist. Maybe it was something she needed to do too.
Sam looked down at the dirty snow at the edge of the street as she marched along.
She’d never understood how her mom had let her dad back into her life.
It was almost as if she’d forgiven him—something Sam would never do.
Leo seemed to have calmed down over the last few years and seemed to have a decent relationship with their dad.
Sam huffed as she came to the end of the pedestrian zone.
He’d more than a decent relationship with their dad when she really thought about it. Lately they seemed thick as thieves.
Shaking her head she pushed that thought aside.
It was none of her business what kind of a relationship Leo and their dad had.
With some effort she looked around. She’d been to Livigno before, and had always loved it, but this time she’d hardly spent any time absorbing the picturesque and lively town.
The store she was outside was new, and interesting.
Peering in the window she saw that it was filled with all sorts of ski wear.
Most of it wasn’t like anything she’d seen outside of her parents’ photo albums. Squinting she tried to make out what was in the far corner of the store but couldn’t. The only thing for it was to go in.
The warm air inside made her nose and cheeks tingle.
The place smelled amazing, like her home used to before her dad moved out.
Spicy cinnamon and calming lavender. With her nose in the air, Sam wandered further into the room.
Geometrically patterned rugs scattered across the wooden floor reminded her of the rug in her bedroom back at home.
Nineties music played quietly in the background and the lighting was golden and gentle.
Looking around, she didn’t see anyone, so she started rummaging through the jackets and coats that had caught her eye from outside. Everything was vintage!
A huge smile spread across her face as she pulled out a jacket that was almost identical to the one her mom had worn when she’d come to watch her first snowboarding competitions.
It was neon bright, blousy. The color clashed, and the fabric crinkled and rustled as she ran her hand down over it.
Laughing, she plucked the tag from the sleeve and then gasped.
It was a fraction of the cost she’d been expecting it to be.
Tucking the jacket under her arm, Sam flicked through the other pieces.
Each one made her smile. They were all so individual and had personality and even felt a little sassy.
Finding a mirror, she held a jacket up to her chest and turned back and forth.
“You can try it on, if you like,” a woman’s voice called over. Sam jumped. The woman raised her hands, almost dropping the load of coats and jackets she was carrying. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“No, it’s okay,” Sam said. “I was lost in my own world here. These are amazing.”
“Thank you.” The small, neat woman put the stack of clothing on the counter and blew some dark hair from her brow.
The rest of her hair was swept back into a French braid, making her look elegant and serene.
Her face was open and friendly. Her own clothing appeared to be vintage too.
Sam hoped that there was another sweater like the navy one the woman was wearing.
It was giving Swiss vibes with white snowflake motifs and a cozy crew neck. “I hope you find something you like.”
“I have already,” Sam said holding up the jacket.
“Oh, that’s one of my favorites.” The woman came out from behind the counter. “There are matching pants too. Let me find them for you. Here … yes, here they are. They look like they’d fit you. Why don’t you try them on?”
Sam took the pants and held them up to herself. They were unreal! The hot pink and bright holly green colors were so different to what she normally wore. The pants even had suspenders on them and a zip around the back that attached to a zip on the jacket that made them a one-piece.
“Ah, I’m a snowboarder,” Sam said handing back the pants. “These look quite fitted. I’m used to a looser-fitting style.”
The woman smiled. “You’d be surprised how roomy these are. Trust me.”
Sam took the pants back, feeling a little pressured. Biting her lip, she picked up the jacket. “Sure, why not?”
“The changing room is over there.” The woman pointed to the back of the store. “Take your time.”
Hanging her jacket up, Sam sighed. She’d never mastered the art of avoiding a salesperson, ever, although she’d stood no chance in a store that had no other customers in it anyway.
Stepping out of her pants and boots, she shivered slightly before tugging on the vintage pants.
They slid up over her hips comfortably, the suspenders on her shoulders making it easy to twist and move.
Pulling on the jacket she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
Her eyes widened and she stifled a giggle.
Her hair had loosened from the braid she’d put in that morning and was wild around her face, which was pink and blotchy from coming in from the cold.
She truly looked like an Eighties ski diva.
Just as her mom had when she’d come to watch her compete.
Zipping up the jacket she was surprised at how easy it was to move.
Twisting and bending was easy, she could still lay her palms flat on the floor too.
Crouching down she found the pants didn’t restrict her like she’d thought they would.
“Well, how do they fit?” the woman called.