5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
HOW DO I START MY LIFE OVER AGAIN?
Aaliyah
“How could I have been so stupid?”
This was at least the millionth time I’d asked myself the same question, while I paced the small bedroom in the back of Abasi’s private jet.
If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would have kept believing every single lie he fed me for the past few months. He said he would choose me. That he was only keeping up appearances. He sure fooled me. He enjoyed the attention. If he didn’t, he would have pushed her away when she kissed him or snatched his hand away to stop her. I hadn’t experienced such heartache since the death of my parents. I stupidly believed this man was my forever.
I shook my head in disbelief, my cheeks wet with endless tears that refused to stop flowing. “You’re stronger than this Aaliyah,” I chided myself. “Stop crying over some useless man.”
The light knocking at the door forced a sigh from me. I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone. As soon as I entered the private jet, I shut myself in the room away from the pity and anger in my guards’ eyes.
Although these men were employed by Abasi, they were like my brothers, and most wanted blood from Antonio due to his disrespect. Many of them had been guarding me since I left university and joined Abasi’s organization full time. It was embarrassing they’d witnessed such blatant disrespect from someone who claimed to love me. The man who promised me the world.
“Come in, Abel!”
I knew it was him. He would be the only one who would come to make sure my world wasn’t falling apart, offering a reassuring presence in the midst of chaos.
Once upon a time, I believed Abel was the person I’d spend the rest of my life with. His beautiful flawless obsidian skin, and dark eyes, captivated me the first time we met. But we found we were better off as friends than lovers. While we were together, we cherished one another, but he couldn’t get past the daily dangers of my life. And I couldn’t get past him not trusting me to handle myself. He couldn’t separate his job as my guard from his place by my side. The strife between us started filtering into our work until we decided it was best if we were friends and it had been that way ever since.
When he walked in, he opened his arms like he’d always done when I was upset, and I walked to him. In his embrace, I unleashed the agony and pain I felt deep in my heart from Antonio’s betrayal.
Other than Antonio, Abel was the only person I could be my true self with. If I was vulnerable neither felt the need to tell me to be strong. They allowed me to be myself. They let me curse. They let me rant like a raving lunatic when I needed to. And they let me cry, just like I was doing now.
“Don’t cry, Nzuri. I hate to see your tears.” Beautiful.
I chuckled at the pet name he had always called me. “I’m sure I’m not so beautiful right now, Abel.” I stepped out of his arms and sat on the end of the bed, wiping the wetness from my face. “My hair is a mess, and my face is puffy from all these damn tears I’ve cried over that bastard. But they won’t stop coming.”
“You will always be beautiful to me,” he said, coming to sit beside me. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in closer. “You know this.”
“I can’t believe he did this to me, Abel. I believed he loved me, but it was all a lie. The life we started to build together wasn’t real to him. To me, it was everything.”
“Do you want to hear what I believe? Or do you want to continue to cry over something that may have not been what you think you saw?”
Throughout the years, Abel had been the steady voice of reason in my life. Being around so many liars and those looking to get ahead in this world at all costs, it took me awhile to learn to trust anyone, including him. But when in doubt about what was going on around me, he had the uncanny ability to help me see both sides of a situation.
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me what you think I need to hear anyway, but I know what I saw, Abel.”
His warm and infectious laughter filled the air, making me feel even more at ease in his embrace. “Antonio does love you.”
I started shaking my head. He grasped my hand, and a small smile lifted at the corners of his mouth.
“He does, Aaliyah. It’s in the way he looks at you. It’s like he sees his future. And it’s in his smile when you say something, no matter how geeky it may be.” He chuckled and nudged me. “I know he loves you because it’s the same way with me.”
Abel had never shied away from his feelings for me. We were together for four years before we decided to end things. We both understood we weren’t meant for one another no matter the love we shared.
And I did love Abel, but I wasn’t in love with him. My heart belonged to another man. But even though we both knew this, the sadness in his eyes always hurt when he spoke of his feelings for me. Feelings one day I hoped someone else replaced because he was a good man. He deserved to be loved.
“I don’t know if I can get pass this Abel. It was like I didn’t even exist to him.”
“You only paid attention to his actions because of the hurt you were experiencing, but I looked into the man’s eyes. He was miserable while he played a part.”
Before I began to protest, he placed his finger against my lips. It was something he always done when he felt what I needed to hear was too important to interrupt. With an exasperated huff, I rolled my eyes.
“Let me finish,” he said, dropping his finger from against my lips. “I’m not making excuses for him. What he did was wrong, and disrespectful. You have every right to be disappointed and hurt by what you saw. But I do believe you should hear what he has to say, before you shut him out. And if you don’t want to have anything else to do with him after he explains his actions, then I will be the first one to get you away from him.”
Remember, Bella, I love you. Never forget that. We’ll get through this, together.
Antonio’s words replayed in my head. But could we get through this?
“It hurts, Abel.” I placed my hand over my chest. “Every time I think about the way he was with that woman, my chest aches, and it gets hard to breathe.”
That should have been me sitting there with his family, while Abasi and the Don spoke business as I shared pleasantries with his mother. That should have been me holding hands and sharing kisses with him. Instead, it was some other woman.
Does he even think of me, like I think of him when we are apart?
“Even more reason for you to find out his side of the story.” Abel placed a kiss against the top of my head. “You love him, Nzuri. I know because of the amount of pain you are in right now. And if you don’t get the answers you deserve, then I will kick his ass while you walk out the door.”
This was the first time I had laughed since I left the restaurant this morning. After my early business meeting, I was going to go straight to Antonio, because I missed him even though I hadn’t been gone that long. I never expected to see him with another woman, much less be in another woman’s arms. I pushed the bile down crawling up my throat, while watching them together. When I could no longer sit and watch the man who promised me the rest of our lives together with another woman, I ended my meeting and rushed out of the restaurant.
“Thanks for being there for me, Abel.”
“I know we didn’t work out, but I only want what is best for you.” He stood then kissed me on the cheek. “I always have and always will. And I believe Antonio loves you. Hear him out.”
“I will,” I said, giving him a half-hearted smile.
“Whenever you’re ready, I will meet you at the door,” he said before he exited the room.
How do I start my life over after Antonio? I expected to marry this man, and now everything has changed. I took a deep breath, hoping to release the heavy weight of anger and sadness that consumed me.
I pulled myself together as best I could despite the circumstances. Although my heart hurt, and my life was collapsing around me, I needed to maintain an image of strength around these men, and anyone who could be watching. I was still the face of Abasi’s organization and couldn’t portray weakness to anyone. There was a job that still needed to be done whether or not I was on the clock and despite my heart breaking.
One day to relax and cry over my failed relationship. Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully I can forget all about Antonio Rizzo, Jr.
I made my way out of the bedroom to the cabin of the plane, hiding my red swollen eyes behind a pair of sunglasses. Abel met me at the plane’s door with his stoic look but gave me a slight nod of encouragement. I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin. I was a strong independent woman. I didn’t need anyone, not even Antonio Rizzo, Jr.