Chapter 11
KADENCE
The air was thick with sweat, my body aching in ways I never thought possible.
My muscles burned from the constant motion, but at least my mind was only focused on Drew.
Although there was still the mimic of people who hurt me—my dad calling me worthless, Dominic using me, Liam on top of me.
They were taunting me. I needed to focus on this pain and use it in my favor to protect myself.
“You want to keep going?” His smirk was barely visible. “It looks like you’re taking a break.”
I stared at him, not saying a word as I focused on my breathing. I focused on the sting in my ribs and the ache in my fists. This pain was nothing compared to everything else I’d been through, and goddamn, could Drew hit.
“Pain’s your friend, right?” he asked, circling me like a predator. “You’re going to let it make you stronger? Or is it going to break you, like it always does?” Ouch. “Come on, Kadence.”
I clenched my fists. I’ve been broken more times than I could count. But this time…this time I was using it for me. I was done being a pretty punching bag for everyone else.
“Shut up,” I muttered, my voice slightly hoarse.
Drew laughed, his voice low and mocking. “Make. Me.”
I stepped forward, wiping the sweat from my lip.
My fists clenched as I lifted them, looking for the right moment and I threw a punch.
It was wild and not as controlled as it should be, so I missed him.
While he smirked, I came in from the opposite side and gave him a firm right hook to the jaw. He looked at me dazed for a moment.
“You got lucky,” he spit, still mocking me. I knew this was Drew training me, but damn, was he brutal. “You’re still too slow.”
I wasn’t expecting to be a black belt in self-defense by the end of the night, but I was still pent up with emotions and rage.
He lunged at me faster than I expected, and my heart leapt in my throat.
He threw a punch—hard and meant to put me on my ass—but I saw it coming.
My body reacted before I could. I sidestepped, feeling the wind of his fist just miss my face.
And for a moment, his body was off balance.
Use your enemy's defenses against them.
I grabbed his wrist, my knee lifting and connecting with his side. He gasped and I shoved with all my might. Drew was a big man, but I was running on adrenaline. I kicked him again and his feet left the ground for a moment, just long enough for my leg to sweep him from under his feet.
The floor slammed against his back with a thud and I landed on top of him, breathless, my hands gripping his arms.
“How do you feel now?” he asked with a smirk.
“Exhausted, but not as angry,” I tell him, taking a deep breath. “I think this is going to help. Y’know, you’re an asshole when you want to be.”
He chuckled. “I’m not being an ass. I can’t baby you when it comes to training. Use your anger and pain, but don’t let it distract you.”
“Is that what you did?”
“Eventually. I did some horrible things before I learned to fight. Annika enjoyed the sex the most, but I knew I needed to do something else before I let my pain, guilt, and grief consume me.”
“Speaking of.” I scrambled to my feet, extending my hand to help Drew up. “Still don’t understand how she handles three of you.”
“You’ve already seen it.” He waggled his brows. “We’ll meet here three nights a week or more if needed.”
“It might be more for right now.”
My muscles ached the next morning when I finally crawled out of bed.
Drew and I had stayed at the gym until 4:00 a.m. when I finally tapped out.
I was feeling it that day, but it was a sweet pain that helped distract my mind.
I didn’t have a nightmare the previous night, but I still wasn’t sleeping like I needed to.
The shower was the one place I allowed myself to be vulnerable.
It was easy to pretend I was okay in front of my friends, but it was harder when I was alone.
I’d cried, contemplated self-harm, and even thought about leaving Westhaven.
That night, I sat in the shower and cried again.
The crying that made one’s soul ache. I pulled my knees to my chest, letting my salty tears mix with the hot water as I silently sobbed.
Why did healing feel like a fucking rollercoaster, but instead of going up, I was on a downward fall? One day I’d be okay, but that wasn’t that day or that week. I needed to have another visit with Dr. Williams, but I just saw her. Everything was falling apart and I needed to get my control back.
I swiped my hand across the mirror, my brows furrowing at the reflection in front of me.
Scared. Weak. But I saw determination in my eyes.
This was not how my story would end. I slipped into a baggy tee and red sweats, grabbed the first aid kit, and walked out of the room.
Annika and Drew were both in the living room, and when Annika saw me, she beamed.
She’d been my rock throughout this entire situation.
I didn’t know what I had done to gain an amazing friend like her, but I was forever grateful.
“So, I heard you were on top of my man and I missed it?” I glanced at Drew who had a wide grin.
I sat the first aid kit down in front of her. “Did he tell you the part where I sent him to the ground?”
Drew laughed, hovering over Annika as she cleaned my wrists. “It was after I kicked her ass several times.”
I rolled my eyes. “It was what I needed. It was that or taking your car and driving into a tree.”
“Well, how about you keep kicking each other’s asses and straddling Drew, so you can stay here with us? Okay? I love you and I want to keep my bestie on solid ground and not roadkill.”
I laughed, nodding as I extended my arms to her. “I love you.”
Annika cleaned, disinfected, and wrapped my wounds.
The left wrist was injured worse than my right, but both were healing nicely.
I could see my own scars under the wounds, but the only difference was I never went this deep.
I was always scared I would cut too deep.
My neck wound wasn’t as bad, but it was in the awkward stage of healing and
“If we’re going to commit crimes and any kind of murder, I vote Blaize,” she said. Annika was not Blaize’s biggest fan right now, and I didn’t blame her. I wished I could have the same rage in my chest. I was angry, but it was a battle between myself and what she did to me.