Chapter 15
KADENCE
Isat on what I would do for a few days, thinking of plans to hurt Blaize. Did it make me cruel, wanting to hurt her like she hurt me? The only difference between us was I wouldn’t physically hurt her. I wanted her to know anguish and pain, but I wouldn’t lay a finger on her.
And then a wicked thought flashed through my mind.
Hunter.
Would it be cruel to sleep with her best friend?
Blaize didn’t like the thought of me flirting with her before, so it could hurt her.
It wouldn’t leave the same wounds Blaize left on me, but it would leave a mark.
Would Hunter do it? Would it affect their friendship?
I mean, Hunter saved my life. Hawke might’ve snapped out of it, but by then, the damage was already done.
This was how I hurt her. Hopefully Hunter didn’t hate me for using her as payback, but I felt like Hunter wouldn’t care as long as I was consenting. This was the first step into learning how to forgive, and sometimes forgiveness didn’t happen without leaving a few marks itself.
ME
Can we spar?
HUNTER
I can meet you at the gym today around 4?
ME
That’s perfect for me.
HUNTER
I’ll see you then.
Hunter would think I actually wanted to spar, but it was far from the truth.
Sparring wasn’t helping as much anymore, and I needed something more.
Hunter would be the one to help me get control back, to say fuck you to Blaize, if she excepted my request. I didn’t know how close they were, but Drew said they were best friends.
I saw the anger inside her when she saw me panicking in Blaize’s torture den.
Hunter was pissed off at Blaize like I was.
It wasn’t for the same reasons, but I knew she would help me if I asked her to.
I needed this. Even if she wouldn’t do it, I would find someone else at the club to help me move on, but I trusted Hunter.
Hunter walked into the gym like a force, her blonde hair dancing behind her. She eyed me, immediately knowing something was different since I wasn’t beating a punching bag like normal. “Are you okay?”
“Can we do a scene?” I blurted. She arched her brow. “I need to do something, and sex was always my coping mechanism.” I didn’t tell her I wanted to get back at Blaize by sleeping with her friend.
Hunter eyed me. “And is this because you want to have sex with me or because you want to hurt Blaize?”
Well shit. “Both?”
“Are you sure?” she questioned. “I’m not a gentle lover, Kadence.”
I knew from the bruises I would see on Everly and how she was on stage. “I don’t want gentle. I want to forget.”
She nodded, checking her watch. “Tonight? Or is it too last minute? We won’t have our regular patrons, but the regulars will be there.”
Tonight meant we wouldn’t be sparring, because I would need to get back to the apartment and prepare. “I can do it tonight. I’m just gonna go back to the apartment to get ready.”
“I take it you want Blaize knowing?”
“You can tell her, I don’t care if she knows. She doesn’t own me, and she can’t stop me.
“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life or deal with what she did to you, but you should talk to her.”
I cocked my head to the side. “I think she deserves to suffer a little longer.” The inevitable would happen and we would talk one day, but I wanted her to weep in her feelings longer.
“It’s your choice.” Hunter wanted to say more, but she stopped herself. “I’ll see you tonight. Room 10. Wear red.”
Tension curled low in my stomach, and my breathing picked up.
Everything felt like it was going haywire, but I wanted to do this—needed to do this.
Sleeping with Hunter would help me move on from Blaize, help me heal more.
It was a final hit to her to show her how much she hurt me.
I still craved her in undeniable ways, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to get hurt again.
Blaize wasn’t at the club when I arrived, and Hunter brought me back immediately.
I went simple with red lace and garters.
I was feeling insecure in my skin, but I was also trying to remember the bad bitch I was.
Letting people interfere with my life and have power over me wasn’t something I was going to allow anymore.
“Take off your jacket and get on your knees.” I did as she said.
My breathing hitched as I watched her. Was I really doing this? Why shouldn’t I? Blaize betrayed me and my trust. I should be able to sleep with her best friend without shame, especially after she hurt me.
“What’s your safe word, Kadence?”
“Ocean.”
Hunter walked around me, inspecting me before she pushed me onto my back. My breath hitched when her lips trailed down my jaw, leaving scorching kisses down my neck and chest. When my breasts were free and her mouth was on my intimate areas, I realized I couldn’t do this.
I covered my face with my hands, a sob breaking through. “O-ocean.”
Immediately, Hunter crawled off my body and I broke. Why the fuck was I crying? What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I let myself have this? Everything else was taken from me, now I couldn’t choose who to give my body to because my heart wanted Blaize? What mindfuckey was this?
“Kadence, breathe,” Hunter soothed. She really was a different person in the bedroom than she was outside. Or maybe it was just for me because I knew how Everly described her, and it wasn’t gentle or loving. “What’s wrong?”
“I love her. That’s what’s wrong,” I sobbed. “I can’t do this. It’s fucking stupid. She hurt me, and I can’t even screw her best friend as payback.”
God, that sounded shitty when I said it aloud.
“Kadence, it’s okay.” Hunter didn’t give off caring partner. She radiated dominant badass. So why was she being gentle with me? “I figured it would happen. You need to focus on what you want, and honestly, you need to talk to her.”
“Talk? I don’t want to talk to her. That’s the issue.
I am so tired of trying to talk to her. You saw what happened when I attempted before.
That was me talking, and when I thought I made progress, she did that!
” I yelled. I was ranting at this point.
“I’m not setting myself up to get my heart broken or to get hurt again.
I’ve already been hurt too many goddamn times. ”
“I know. It’s okay to be angry. Don’t let your anger consume you. Do you need anything from me?”
I shook my head. “No. I took Drew’s car here, so I think I’m gonna go back home. I’m sorry I wasted both our time.”
“Ehh, when you are feeling up to it, I’ll be happy to rock your world.”
I pulled my trenchcoat back on. My phone and keys were left in the car because I didn’t feel like dealing with the process of leaving them up front in case I ran into Blaize or anyone else. Technically, I hadn’t come back to work yet, and I still didn’t know if I would or not.
When I stumbled out of the room, I stumbled right into the arms of the woman I was desperately trying to avoid. “Kadence? What ar—”
“Blaize, don’t,” Hunter said as she stepped out of the room.
She looked at Hunter before looking back at me. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I hated how this woman made me feel. I shouldn’t be enraptured with her especially after what she fucking did to me. I pushed myself out of her arms, feeling her grip tighten slightly. She wanted to talk, but I refused.
“Don’t.” I pulled my arm away. “I wish I could fucking hate you.”
And then I was gone as Blaize yelling at Hunter filled my ears.