Chapter 43
KADENCE
When I woke up alone, it ruined my mood. I hated how clingy I was with Blaize, but she made me feel safe. She held me last night after my nightmare, and I expected to wake up in her arms this morning. Since being here in her bed, I hadn’t woken up with her as much as I would like.
I had therapy today, and it would be the first session since everything happened with Annika.
Three days passed and Annika was back home, but I still couldn’t help the guilt in my chest, even if she didn’t blame me.
The reason she was shot was because she was my friend.
She took the bullet that was meant for me, and she could’ve died.
When I got to Dr. Williams’ office, I flashed her a soft smile and I knew it didn’t meet my eyes. I thought this session would be different and I would talk to her about a scene I wanted to do with Blaize to help us both, but now I was spiraling.
“What happened? Is it Blaize?”
I shook my head. “No, Blaize is amazing. We need to work on communication, but she’s great. Annika got hurt.”
“Is she okay? What happened?”
I leaned back onto the couch. “We were shopping. On our way to the car, I saw something and then someone started shooting. The bullet was meant for me, but it got Annika.”
“Do you think it’s your fault?”
“It is my fault,” I told her with more fire in my voice. “This person wanted me dead. Blaize didn’t kill me, so I am still a pawn to hurt her. I put Annika in danger. It should’ve been me who was hurt.”
“Kadence, Annika is alive. Her getting hurt is not your fault. It is the person that did it. Regardless of this person wanting to hurt you. If you use your logic, it would be Blaize’s fault, which it’s not, but this person wants you to get her.”
I groaned. “I never thought this would be my life. When I ran away from New York, maybe I should’ve chosen a small midwestern town or maybe the south. This wouldn’t happen if I was somewhere else.”
“Maybe you needed to come here to find yourself. Fate works in mysterious ways.” She smiled.
Dr. Williams had restored my faith in doctors and therapists.
Whoever said therapy was useless—like me, in a past life—is an idiot because this was the jumpstart I needed to get on track. “Now tell me about you and Blaize.”
After I went into long, graphic detail about me and Blaize, Dr. Williams beamed even working on our kinks, she could see the happiness radiating from me like a beacon. This was a reality I never thought would be mine.
There was still a part of me that felt like this life would be pulled out from under me, but I wasn’t living in fear anymore.
Even if my father found me, I was an adult free to make my own choices.
My track record may not be the greatest, but I refused to let my past hold me back from the future I want.
And Dominic? If I ever saw him again, I’d like to think I'd be strong and fight him, but I’d need Blaize or Hawke to help me.
Healing was never linear, but I was on the correct path with Blaize by my side.
“What is the plan for communication? I don’t want you hurting yourself for her. What are you planning?”
“She’s better, but she doesn’t want to scare me.
I’d much rather know what I need to expect versus having someone hurt me out of the blue.
I told you before that she’s a domme. I have a scene set up, but I don’t know if I should do it.
Not now. How can I focus on a scene or sex if this is happening? ”
“It could be the distraction the both of you need. From my understanding, kink and BDSM takes focus and trust. If that’s what you think you both need, do it. Focus on that and not what’s happening around you.”
EVERLY
Want to grab lunch before going to Annika’s?
No was on the top of my tongue, but she was Annika’s friend, too.
Ever since Blaize and I made things official, Everly gave me weird vibes.
I couldn't explain it, but it wasn’t jealousy.
Maybe it was envy? She was sleeping with Hunter, so I didn’t understand the hostility towards Blaize.
But maybe she slept with her best friend since Blaize wouldn’t give her the time of day?
ME
Yes! I’ll meet you at the cafe by the pier.
I quickly dressed in the same jeans and a faded, navy cropped sweater. Winter was moving in fast, and I knew we’d get a first snow in the coming days. Blaize and I both needed a night to focus on each other and forget everything around us.
Everly was sitting in a booth, waiting for me, when I walked into the cafe.
I gave her a tight hug before ordering a turkey club with avocado.
As Everly talked about everything, I tuned her out.
I nodded and smiled so she believed I was listening as I reached for my phone.
Coming to lunch with her was a bad idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I considered Everly a friend, but when it was just the two of us, things were awkward.
It was like she was annoyed that I was dating Blaize instead of her.
Everly was not my type, and if she was, she gave me bad, bitchy vibes.
I sent Blaize a picture of Everly when she asked what I was doing and then proceeded to tell her about therapy.
There was still a pang of guilt in my chest, but everyone kept telling me it wasn’t my fault.
I knew it wasn’t, but she was hurt because of me.
Everything was so messed up, and it was making me spiral.
It was one reason why we needed tomorrow.
To stop the spiral from happening, I scrounged through my photo album and found a picture Blaize had yet to see before adding it to the text thread.
I told Everly I’d be right back, and I walked into the bathroom.
Taking the sweater off, I unhooked my bra and posed in the bathroom mirror.
Thank God the bathroom was a single stall, or someone would’ve got an eye full.
When I was satisfied with the picture, I sent both of them to Blaize.
As we went down a wormhole of sexting, I had a heartbeat between my thighs. That’s when I knew it was time to go. Everly and I finished the remainder of our lunch, and we drove separately to Annika’s apartment. While I planned on staying the night, I knew Everly would leave in a few hours.
I pushed her door open to saw Annika on the couch with a feral look on her face and Theo covering her with a blanket. “Thank God!” Annika squealed. “Go. Shoo. I want girl time. I’m so sick of penises and men.”
Theo, Noah, and Drew walked out of the living room and into their bedroom. “Glad to see that bark is still there.” Everly laughed. “I’m really glad you are okay.”
“I’m glad to be here.” She looked at me. “Give me a hug.” She pulled me down, grunting slightly as she wrapped her arms around me, trapping me in a bear hug. “I’m not mad at you. Stop looking like that. It could’ve happened to anyone. And if it got you, it would have killed you.”
“I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel horrible. However, I am done self-loathing. You’re alive, and that’s all I can ask for.”
We spent the next three hours laughing until Everly had to go home. I made a plan to stay here tonight, and tomorrow I would have Blaize to myself when she got back from Bellevue. She was spending a lot of her time over there, but it made the most sense.
“Do you want to help me pick an outfit for Blaize to rip off?”
“Of course!” Annika quipped excitedly. Since moving here, I’d accumulated more lingerie in a few months than I’d had in my entire adulthood.
Working with Blaize as my boss had its advantages.
Thankfully, no one thought she was playing favorites, but giving her a lap dance after bringing her whiskey might just be my new favorite thing.
Even with her bottling up her emotions, she treated me with respect, loved me, and cherished my body.
I was grateful for her, and after tomorrow, our relationship would be solid once again.
“I’m pretty sure the guys have the bags in the spare room. Theo!” The door practically ripped off its hinges as the three of them staggered out. “I need the bags from the spare room.”
“They thought you were dying,” I teased her.
“Ehh. I was shot. They think I’m useless and can’t do anything on my own.”
The three of them brought in the shopping bags and set them in front of me.
“Y’know green is her favorite color,” Annika quipped.
“Yeah, I figured when Hawke bought me that emerald green set for my ‘audition.’ I looked hot, and I could see her eyes dilate watching me. Given I was grinding all on her and I thought her teeth would break from how bad her jaw was clenched.”
“I believe it. Are we sticking to green, or do you want something else?” Annika asked, looking at the options in front of us.
“I just need something lacey. It’s going to be pulled off my body, anyways,” I informed her with a smile.
“Black lace it is.”
We spent most of the night eating junk food and watching cheesy romance movies.
Annika said she wanted something different than our normal horror movie marathon.
The guys waited on us hand and foot to make sure Annika didn’t do anything.
She already made a plan in a few weeks to do the most outrageous thing she could think of to annoy them.