Chapter 74
KADENCE
There was a knock on Annika’s door and Noah investigated first, ready to shoot if it was Everly or someone else.
Instead, Doc’s sweet face came into view.
Blaize was doing something with Hunter, but that was last night.
When I got to Annika’s, I passed out after Doc checked me over.
Fighting the psycho bitch was exhausting.
“Doc?” I questioned before panic crept in. “Is Blaize okay?” A few days passed since I saw her. When I wanted to come home, she said no because she was busy looking for Everly and wanted me safe.
He shook his head. “Physically, she’s fine. Hunter is at the clubhouse with a concussion if Drew wants to see her. Warehouse explosion. Sent them both flying. She’s been asleep since the night before last. She’s okay.”
Annika jumped up and went into her room to wake up Drew. “What else is wrong?”
“Can you walk with an old man, dear? I’m about to tell you something that’s not the happiest story, but I am concerned.”
I nodded, slipping into a pair of Crocs. Doc offered me his elbow as we went outside and down the stairs. “Is Blaize really okay?”
He sighed. “I’m seeing a lot of traits in her now that were there when Olivia and Charlee died.”
We talked about the happy memories with her wife and daughter.
I didn’t know about the traumatizing parts besides losing them.
Dealing with the loss of my brother hurt me, but I couldn’t imagine losing a wife or a child.
I never wanted Blaize to forget about her family, and I hope she didn’t expect it when dating me.
“She never told me anything.”
“I was working at the hospital before I met Blaize. When I was out for a walk, I saw the two of them in the park, and Olivia went into labor. She was bleeding. I delivered Charlee in the park as the ambulance pulled up.”
“Wow. I thought you were just the club doctor. You’re actually a doctor?”
He chuckled. “Should I be insulted? I didn’t spend fifteen years of my life just to patch up bikers, although I can yell at them whenever I want.”
“That just means you’re an amazing doctor.”
“I do my best.” He smiled. “Anyway. For four years, life was great for Blaize. She had to deal with Elijah West, but she was slowly kicking him out of the territory. When it happened, I saw Blaize crack. Hawke and I found her after it happened. Blaize was a shell. There were no emotions inside her besides anger.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “That’s when she retaliated?”
Doc told me the story of what Blaize did and how she destroyed Elijah West in a fury of vengeance. After the Vandals were destroyed, Hawke had to stop her from killing herself. My heart squeezed in my chest knowing the pain Blaize experienced and continues to experience because of her loss.
“I’ve never seen the spark in her eye until you came into her life,” Doc said, squeezing my hand. “I know she isn’t the greatest at expressing her emotions, but she is mortified of going through loss again. It’s one reason why she didn’t want to let you in, and pushed you away.”
“I think I understand a little more about her life and the loss she suffered. Now I know why she is so scared.”
“She needs you. She won’t admit it, but I see parts of her from years ago. Blaize is spiraling, and her fear is winning.”
“Care if I joined you on the way back to the clubhouse?”
“Your chariot awaits.”
When I got to the clubhouse, I immediately found Blaize hiding out in the gym. The first thing I noticed was her hands. She was fidgeting, and then I saw her breathing. It was wrong…to fast, sharp almost like she was inhaling glass. I knew better than to ask questions. She didn’t need questions.
“Come here,” I whispered instead, softer than I had ever spoken to her before.
She didn’t move. Blaize was wearing her mask, even with me, but I didn’t want her to wear it.
She wanted me to talk to her? Well, I needed her to talk to me, too.
I saw how tense she was, almost stone-like.
The thing was, I learned her cracks. She couldn’t hide from me anymore, even if she wanted to.
I stepped closer to her with a serious scowl on my face. This wasn’t a game, and I wasn’t going to walk out of here until she was in my arms. “Don’t. I’m fine.” Her voice was rough.
I scoffed. “Fine my ass. You’re not okay.” I reached for her, grabbing her wrists.
Blaize wanted to pull away; I felt it in the way she was tensing against my touch. She didn’t want to fall apart with me in the room. Blaize thought her feelings were a weakness. If she wasn’t strong, then everything would fall apart. She didn’t need to be strong all the time, especially with me.
I wrapped my arms around her before she could pull away from me, and pressed my cheek into her chest. Her heart was beating loudly as I held her tightly against me. “It’s okay. I have you.”
She went rigid in my arms, as still as a statue.
And then she broke. Finally.
“You can’t see me like this, Kadence.” Her voice was broken, but she was trying to hide the tremble.
“I’ve seen every part of you Blaize. This won’t change anything,” I told her, squeezing her tighter. Her body shuddered before she clutched her arms around me. Her fingers dug into my back hard enough to leave a bruise. “Let go. You don’t have to hold it in with me.”
A broken sound ripped through her lungs, one I never heard from her before.
It shattered my heart hearing the guttural, raw scream escaping her.
Her knees gave out and we collapsed to the floor, but I kept a firm grip on her as she buried her face into my neck.
Every sob was broken, every breath incomplete.
I let her take what she needed from me, running my hand down her back until she was ready to let go.
“I’m so tired,” she laughed bitterly, but it was replaced with a sob.
“Then rest,” I whispered. “I’m here. I’m never leaving you.”
And I held her, and I would continue to until the end of my days.