Chapter 32
I spent the night in a chair beside Ben’s hospital bed. Brody and Alyssa didn’t argue. Mom, knowing me too well, just said she would bring me a change of clothes in the morning and to text if I needed anything. Eventually, Alyssa went home, and Brody had a second chair brought in for him. Their dad gave the doctors permission for Brody to act as guardian in his absence. I knew Brody and Ben were close, but the way he watches over Ben now it seems he has become less of a brother and more of a father figure to Ben.
I haven’t slept much. Nurses keep coming in and out to check vitals. At about 4 am I give up on sleep. As quietly as I can, I leave my chair and exit the room to use the restroom in the waiting area. While Ben’s room has a private restroom, I don’t want to risk waking him or Brody. Ben’s night was rough. Even though he slept a lot, he stays groggy from the meds. He would wake up in pain often. In addition to breaking his wrist, he also bruised several ribs, and sustained a concussion. He kept complaining of a headache until they took him for a CT. Thank God everything looked normal.
It’s been a lot to process. At first, I felt relief seeing him alive and knowing he would be okay after some recovery time. Then came the anger. Anger for the kid that was careless and ran a red light because they were texting. I wanted to track them down and give them a piece of my mind if it wouldn’t mean leaving Ben. Lisa stayed for a little while after we got here, surprising me. She promised me that justice would be served and now I feel bad for the kid. I’m also angry at Ben a little, for not letting anyone tell me sooner. Then there is the other feeling, the unfamiliar one.
My entire life, I’ve been afraid of love. My mom loved my dad. We see how that turned out. He’s off in his perfect world with a new family pretending I never existed. Sure, there’s a birthday card here and there but what is that compared to a relationship? I love my mom and I love our life. Still, the thought of ever putting myself or much less a kid through what we went through is scary. Yeah, I’m only 16 and I’m sure everyone has a first love, but this is still terrifying. The thought of losing Ben or something happening to him shattered me. I can’t imagine a life without him. Something clicked the day I met Ben; it was like my world shifted into place. I fought it out of the pretense of needing to focus on school but in reality, I fought it out of fear or repeating my mom’s past.
Which is crazy. Ben wouldn’t do what my dad did. At least, I don’t think he would.
As I slip back into Ben’s room, he is sitting up in the bed. His eyes are more alert than they have been all night.
“Hey there Dorothy. Early riser?” His voice is hoarse, and I move to get him some water from his bedside tray.
“Sorry. Did I wake you?” I lift the water to his lips, and he takes a long swig.
“Thank you. No, Brody’s snoring woke me.” He nods to the side as he whispers and Brody snoozes softly. Not too loud, but enough it could have woken him.
“How are you feeling? Sorry, that’s a stupid question. Of course, you can’t be feeling too great.” Ben grabs my hand that is hanging by my side to stop me.
“Slow down. I’m fine. Little banged up, but that’s all better now that my guardian angel is here.”
“Ha, some guardian angel I am. I probably look like a bridge troll after sleeping in that chair.”
“Yes, but you’re a very pretty troll.” Ben laughs then winces.
“Serves you right.” I snicker. “Seriously though, how are you?”
“It hurts, but the pain killers they’re giving me help. It isn’t until they wear off that I have a problem.” As he talks, I brush some of the hair out of his eyes remembering how I wanted to twirl one of his curls around my finger the first day I met him. So, I do. “That’s helping.” he leans into my touch.
“Eventually, not now, but eventually we are going to have to talk about how you told people not to tell me that you were in an accident.” My voice a little stern but not much.
“I didn’t want to ruin your presentation. You’ve worked for months on it.”
“That is beside the point. If something happens to you, I want to know immediately. Regardless, we can talk about it when you’re feeling better. That way I can hit you.” I continue twirling his curls around my finger and attempt to keep my voice at a whisper.
“My answer won’t change later. I stand by it because I bet the presentation went well, didn’t it?”
“Not the point.”
“Didn’t it?”
“Yeah, it did.” I smile a little. “But we are focused on you right now.”
“No,” Ben carefully lifts his non-injured arm and grabs my wrist, pulling me to sit on the side of the bed. I try to sit as carefully as I can, not bumping him. “I want to focus on you, people have been focused on me too much.”
“Oh no, it’s like you almost died.” I quip. He’s annoyingly stubborn.
“That’s dramatic. I didn’t almost die. I just got hit by a car.” We both laugh, he winces again, and Brody stirs. We stop and stare at him until he settles again. “Really Amelia, tell me something to distract me.”
“Fine. It went really well. There weren’t hundreds of people, there were thousands, and after I got to have coffee with the NYU rep.” I continue playing with his hair.
“That’s great! What did she say?” He tries to sit up more but stops himself. I frown, but he continues. “I’m fine. What did she say?”
The joy from the conversation with the rep returns and a small smile forms on my lips “She offered me early admissions.”
“Dorothy, are you serious? I knew it, I knew you could do it. Early admissions as a junior, that’s unheard of. I’m so proud of you.” He tries to sit up and kiss me but leans back in pain.
“Would you stop that?” I scold.
“Will you come here so I can get a kiss?” he pouts. “I almost died. I should at least get a kiss.”
“Oh, now he almost dies?” I tease and Ben tugs on my hand. I lean over and carefully plant a kiss on his lips and my whole heart explodes. I want to tell him; I want to tell him I love him, but I can’t. I don’t want him to think it is only because of where he’s at right now. As I sit up, I look at him in the eyes and there it is. My special look.
“Dorothy, I want to tell you something.” Ben takes a slow breath and steadies himself. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while but I didn’t want to scare you and I don’t want you to think I’m saying it just because I was hit by a car and I don’t want you to leave me now that I’m all broken.” Oh my god. He is not. My breath catches. Can he read my mind? “You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. You are witty and funny. You don’t take my shit and man am I nervous.” His ranting is adorable, and I almost want to put him out of his misery. “Oh hell, I love you.”
I don’t wait, I don’t pause. “I love you too.” His face lights up. “I wanted to tell you too, but I didn’t want you to think I was saying it just because you are in a hospital bed.”
“You love me too?”
“I do.”
It’s true. I do love Ben. It’s a real all-consuming kind of love. He balances me. He supports me. He respects me. It helps that he’s hot. I love everything about Ben. At 16 I met the love of my life. At least that is the way it feels right now. I love Ben. Ben loves me. It’s simple really. I don’t know if this is something that will last a lifetime or if this is a first love burning bright. Whatever it is, I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to enjoy living this life. New set of rules, don’t try to set rules because life is going to happen, and it doesn’t care about your rules. Just take what comes.