Do You Trust Me?
Ileft the room and headed down the hall toward the cavern’s front entrance.
“Vasin, get ready to head out. We are going with Zan to Sheca.”
“Why do I feel like this choice is not met with approval?”
“It doesn’t matter if my guardians agree with this choice. I am queen, and I’ve made my decision.”
“Not that I don’t approve of you doing such a thing, but might I ask why they disagree?”
“Didn’t plan on giving them the chance to argue with me. We don’t have much time, and it’s a half-day flight to Sheca. I need to meet with them and be back before everyone leaves in the morning. I refuse to make them leave their home without me doing so right beside them.”
“Admirable, yet I still believe hearing out your appointed guardians might be wise.”
I knew he was right, but after dealing with the clan leaders, I didn’t want to have to justify every choice I was making as I was making it. If I was the queen, shouldn’t I be able to make choices and have them do what I say?
“Cassarah, don’t think you can run from me,” Jade hissed as he easily caught up with me.
“This is a reckless move, and you know it. We know nothing about these people other than what Zan has told us. Need I remind you he tried to kill you the first time you crossed paths? What happens if you’re too far away and I can’t get to you in time? ”
Halting once we reached the entrance, I turned to face him, only to bump into his chest. Flustered, I stepped back, but he followed my movement, not allowing me to get any space away from him.
My whole life I’d been raised to be a noble woman and not to show irritation or other extreme emotions.
But I wasn’t a noble woman anymore. I was a queen.
“Stop that,” I snapped and tried to shove him back.
Instead, he caught my hand and held it to his chest. “No, not until you give me a good enough reason for you to go with only one person as backup. Zan might be your guardian, but he has been a Shecan far longer. I can’t say I trust him with you alone just yet.”
“I know I’m new here too, but I have to agree with the Reaper,” Paxton piped up. “Just because you made it through the events of last night, doing reckless things, doesn’t mean it should be a pattern.”
“I’m not going to justify myself when everything worked out. Everyone is alive and standing before me,” I argued, scowling at Paxton.
Abbott stepped up to my left, drawing my attention.
When we first met, I mistook him for a knight, with his long golden hair and light blue eyes.
He had a gallant air about him. He was the best swordsman in all the clans and one of my teachers.
He was one of the more mild-mannered of my guardians, but that was not to be mistaken as soft.
That man could be a drill sergeant when he wanted to be.
More than once, I’d been pushed to my limit and then some with his style of conditioning, but the moment I accomplished what needed to be done, he was my biggest cheerleader.
“Little phoenix, tell me you didn’t do all the things he says you did last night,” Abbot begged, his eyes filled with worry.
“That depends on what he said. If it was anything to do with jumping off a dragon, killing Lord Everett, and saving three of you and two dragons, yes, I did do those things,” I answered.
“If I hadn’t done those things, you, Cole, and Izel might not have survived.
Lord Everett was going to kill you along with Tahir and Ifra, and I couldn’t let that happen if I could do something about it.
You all are as important to me as I am to you.
What I need most from everyone right now is a little faith in my choices. ”
Internally, I wanted to flinch at how I’d just sounded. It was as if my mother had taken over my mouth and spouted out things. I meant all of it, but there was no need for me to say it so harshly.
Jade let go of my hand to grip my chin, lifting my face until our eyes met. “Is that what you think this is about? You think we don’t trust you?”
“I mean, that’s what I was saying,” Paxton said but was cut off by what sounded like a punch to the gut from someone. “Right, shutting up now.”
The longer Jade held my gaze, I knew he knew that was exactly what I was thinking, even if I didn’t want to.
He let out a huff and dropped his hand, backing away. “I can’t talk to her when she’s like this. She’s all yours, Cole.” Opening my mouth to stop him to explain myself, he held up a hand. “No, little bird, I can’t be the one to speak reason with you right now. I’ll let one of the others try.”
His words felt like a dagger to the heart. I didn’t understand why they hurt so much as I watched him head outside.
“Mouse,” Cole whispered, placing his hands on my shoulders.
Pulling my attention from the direction Jade walked off, I met a pair of deep green eyes that belonged to my friend.
When we first met all those months ago on my bedroom balcony, where my life forever changed, our friendship did not start off well.
As a matter of fact, he hated me and did everything he could to make life harder for me in the first few weeks.
Then we realized we had far more in common than we thought.
Like Abbott, he’d been with me since the beginning and shared my love of history and languages, letting me share everything I learned in those early days.
He was one person I knew would never lie to me, and I could see by the scowl on his face that the choice to go alone with Zan wasn’t a good idea.
“You can’t go with only one person as backup, Cassarah,” Cole stated, using my given name, telling me he was dead serious.
“Being queen means you can’t take risks that will put your people in more danger.
If they don’t have you looking after them through this war, there’s no hope for our survival.
The clan leaders have already proven they aren’t up for the task.
Please think this through with that brilliant mind of yours. ”
I let out a puff of air in frustration. When he put it like that, I knew he was right. “Fine, Abbott and Izel can come along. I need people who aren’t going to overreact if the Shecans say something crazy.”
“Thank you,” Cole murmured as he cupped my face and kissed my forehead. “I would rather have you take us all, but I get what you’re trying to do.”
With that settled, we headed out onto the wide ledge where Vasin and Ifra were waiting.
Jade was working on the harness that Vasin wore.
It acted like a saddle to ensure I didn’t fall off him when flying.
I’ve had the unfortunate experience of knowing what that felt like, and I preferred not to have a repeat if I could help it.
The others lingered by the entrance, giving me space to talk to Jade as Zan started to put Ifra’s harness on.
“I gather this one didn’t like your plan?” Vasin mused as I walked up to them.
“You know he didn’t, and neither did you, I might add.”
“True, but you don’t get mad at me like you do with them.”
“I get mad at you.”
Vasin snorted as he tilted his head to look at me. “Name one time you were mad at me directly?”
I searched my memory and discovered he was right. I have been frustrated or disagreed with something Vasin had to say, but I was never mad. “Okay, so I don’t get mad at you. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing really, just wanted to point it out before I tell you that you should apologize before we leave. He was right to be upset with you.”
Gaping at my dragon, I couldn’t help but laugh at the corner he backed me into. It proved his point because I would be angry if anyone else had said that to me. Vasin gave me a nudge with his nose, sending me stumbling into Jade, who swiftly caught me before anything bad happened.
“This is not making me feel better about letting you leave without me,” Jade grumbled.
“I’m going to bring Abbott and Izel with me.
You were right. I shouldn’t go with only one guardian into another country when we have no idea what I’m walking into,” I said, resting my hands against his chest with his arms wrapped around me.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you were just trying to look out for me, not that you didn’t trust my judgment. ”
“Little bird, I trust you completely in most areas, but when it comes to your safety, you seem to have blinders on. It’s a lot harder being your guardian than I thought it would be,” he teased, squeezing me. “Come on, help me get these last few straps buckled down.”
Pulling out of his arms, I moved to the side and finished off the buckle he’d been working on before he caught me. “It’s not true that I only listen to Cole, is it? I feel like I try to keep an open mind about input.”
“When it comes to things about the clans, yeah, you seem to be open to all suggestions. The few times it comes to your personal life, it’s typically a tag team between Cole and Abbott.
You’ve known them longer, so it makes sense.
I wouldn’t be too bothered by it. We each have our role to play,” Jade explained as he finished the last buckle.
“Looks like you’re all set. We’ll make sure things are running smoothly here, so we’ll be ready when you return. ”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I was starting to get nervous about what would happen if they wouldn’t help us. Without Sheca to turn to, that didn’t leave us with many options other than maybe trying Creisal since Queen Mary’s sister ruled there with her husband.
“Cass, they will aid you in your hour of need. I reached out to the dragons that call that place home, and word is already spreading that the Dragon Queen is coming home. It would seem Zan shared the news when he returned for his things.”
Why I didn’t think of that before showed just how much I had on my mind.
Of course, they would want an explanation as to why Zan was leaving.
He was a soldier, after all. They would need to know why he was abandoning his duties at the drop of a hat.
This would certainly help because they now know I existed and wouldn’t be showing up out of the blue.
“Cassarah, we should be heading out if we want to make it there and back by morning,” Zan pointed out.
Nodding, I turned to my other guardians. “Abbot, you’ll be with me. Izel, you’re with Zan. As for the rest of you, I’m putting you in charge of making this evacuation happen as smoothly as possible. We’ll be back as fast as we can.”
“Be safe, Cassy-bear,” Dayson called as I climbed up on Vasin’s back. “I’ll make sure my father doesn’t cause any trouble.”
“With two of us keeping an eye on him, he won’t have the chance,” May added, knocking shoulders with her cousin and giving me a nod of reassurance.
Abbott settled in behind me, securing himself in for the ride before he placed his hands on my hips.
I waved at the others before Vasin leaped off the ledge and shot us up into the sky in the direction of Sheca with a powerful beat of his wings.
Ifra led the way, but I knew thanks to the dragons’ ability to share memories, Vasin already knew where to go.
Flying quickly became one of my favorite things.
It gave you a level of freedom you couldn’t get anywhere else—the wind whipping through your hair, the scent of nature around you, and all the wide-open space you could ever ask for.
There was the warmth at my back, a constant reminder of Abbott being close, something I was still getting used to after a life of being taught never to be alone with a man.
I knew that the world wasn’t what my mother had painted for my future, being forced into a loveless marriage just to gain status or money for my family.
I was now given the choice of who I wanted to be with and a group of men who were all worthy of being loved wholeheartedly by someone.
I knew they hoped I would be that someone.
The fact I didn’t have to pick between them made things more complicated.
Never having been able to build a romantic relationship with a man, I didn’t know what was expected.
I knew for sure I didn’t want what my parents had.
My father loved my mother, but I don’t think she was capable of loving anyone but herself and certainly not me.
Many of the kings and queens before me had taken more than one lover out of their guardians—Miranda went so far as to take five of hers.
Granted, I found myself with eight men to pick from, and most of them had expressed interest in becoming a consort of mine.
Zan and Paxton had only been with me a short time, but they knew the customs and that it was an option for me to pick them.
I knew I wouldn’t take a man who didn’t love me or feel about me the same way I did for them.
To trap someone in a loveless life or marriage was cruel and nothing I wanted to be a part of.
Hopefully, I would be given time to make the right choice, but I had a gut feeling things would happen much faster once we reached Sheca.