Thank the Gods for Dragons
Vasin didn’t press me to talk right away, allowing me to enjoy the sights around us as my mind calmed.
It wasn’t really the fact that Paxton didn’t come to find me right away.
It’s not even that the clan leaders talked to him behind my back.
What got me in that moment was the overwhelming feeling I was in over my head.
I was twenty-one, unmarried, with no family around me, and they expected me to rule over a whole kingdom!
I’d just wrapped my head around dealing with the small group of mercenaries hidden away in Norden.
Now I was heading toward Sheca and a whole new ball of yarn to untangle.
Every time I felt like I was getting a footing in what I was doing, it changed, and I was starting all over again.
This time there was far more pressure, seeing as there was a prophecy written about me from hundreds of years ago that I had to live up to.
It frustrated me even more that I kept having these moments of self-doubt.
You’d think I’d be over that after all I’ve been through.
“Cass,” Vasin spoke, nudging me to tell him what was wrong.
“How do I make all this progress and keep tumbling back down to where I started? Every time I get overwhelmed, I run. Why can’t I get to the point where I can stand my ground and face whatever comes?”
“Do you truly think you are that scared girl who was secretly taken from her bedroom in the dead of night? I certainly don’t.
Would she have been able to do what you did back at the castle, saving those men of yours?
What about flying off to another kingdom with three men and a dragon to back you and beg them for their help? ”
“I wasn’t going to beg.” I scoffed.
“Yet another bit of proof to show you have grown from who you used to be. The Cassarah I met on the sands of the roost would have never thought like that.”
He had a point. Going off to Sheca on the word of my guardian was an incredibly risky move, but I didn’t hesitate once. “So why am I running now?”
“Only you can say, but perhaps explaining to me what happened might help you understand yourself better.”
“The morning started off really well for being in a small tent with three of us in it. I slept well and was warm. Gavin and Cole bantered some, but it wasn’t out of anger.
It was how Becka pokes fun at me. You know they don’t mean any real insult, but they want to get a rise out of you for some odd reason. ”
“They spent the night in your tent?” Vasin’s tone was that of a disapproving father, which made me chuckle.
“It happened because they gave up their tents to others. Apparently, I was the only one with space left.”
“I doubt they looked very hard.”
“Aren’t you always the one telling me to let down my guard and take a chance for them to see the real me?”
“Yes, well, I don’t believe I told you to invite them into your bed—”
“We had all our clothes on plus cloaks and blankets. Besides, I never would allow myself to end up in a compromising situation. I might not be a noble lady any longer, but I was raised like one. My virtue will stay intact until I am properly joined to my partner.”
“Or partners.”
“How can that even happen if they hate each other? Just because Cole and Gavin are becoming friends doesn’t mean it will happen with the rest of them.”
“Have they shown you proof they can’t be friendly to each other?”
“There was a heated argument between Paxton and the others the moment he showed up this morning. I was talking to Jade when he literally dropped in from the sky, spooking the horses. Jade yelled, then somehow, all the others got involved in the argument as well. Seems like they have some history with each other from way back in the day.”
“I seem to remember when Zan showed up that Jade didn’t trust him either.
Out of all your guardians, Jade is the most overprotective, and it presents itself with anger or lashing out.
Could it be because all they remember is the boy he once was?
Maybe they assume he is the same as an adult without giving him a chance? ”
Hearing it spelled out that way, it was easy to see how that could happen. Many of my guardians seemed to have a quick temper when it came to me. Could it be as simple as having them get to know each other to calm things down? How did I do that before I was forced to pick my consorts?
“Vasin, you know the rules of coronation in Sheca. I have to pick.”
“My advice on that is to sit down with them and explain the rules and the position you are in. Yes, to be crowned queen, you have to at least have one consort, and that relationship must be consummated, but the law also allows you to take as many consorts as you wish after that. My guess is they wouldn’t want you feeling forced into a relationship with them if you’re not ready for that.
They care a great deal about you, Cass. Give them a chance to show you that. ”
“So you don’t think they’ll be mad if I don’t take them all right away?”
“Do you want to take them all?”
“No… at least not right now. I don’t really know Zan and Paxton as well as the others.
Cole and Abbott have been with me since the beginning, showing me time and time again I can trust them.
I could see a deeper connection turning into real love like they talk about in books.
Same with Jade. He gets under my skin and sees the real me.
Even if we argue, I know it’s because he’s looking out for me or pushing me to do the right thing.
Izel also has a special place in my heart along with Dayson.
They are new and growing slower than the others, but I see what they can be with more time.
Zan is such a mystery. He keeps holding back because of things I need to learn about Sheca, but he is easy to be with and so smart.
Paxton, though, is the wild card. I mean, how can I even say there’s a chance for a relationship when I’ve known him for all of two days, most of which we’ve been apart. ”
“What about Gavin?”
Just hearing his name made me smile. “Gavin is my prince charming. I know that once he gives his heart to someone, it will be forever and in the most beautiful way. I just don’t know if I feel worthy enough for that kind of love when I have feelings for other men too.
That’s the biggest part of this. I know I can choose more than one, but should I?
Is that fair to them? Being queen in the middle of a war doesn’t give me a lot of extra time to invest in multiple men.
It would be selfish of me to promise them part of my heart when I don’t know that I’ll ever have time to give it. ”
“My sweet, tenderhearted Cass, you are looking at this all wrong. A healthy relationship goes both ways. You are not responsible for their happiness just as they aren’t responsible for yours.
Together, as a team, you learn to build each other up and support one another, but it doesn’t all fall on your shoulders.
Some days you might need more attention from them, and in return, they might need your undivided attention.
If you build the relationship on the right foundation, they will understand and respect it, knowing they will get the same if they need it.
If one of your partners can’t deal with that, then that’s on them, not you. ”
“How do you make it sound so simple?”
“Because I’m looking at it from the outside without my feelings or heart attached to the situation. It’s always easier to be on the outside looking in than it is to be in the middle of it.”
“All right… since you’re on a roll from your omniscient perspective, how would you deal with the clan leaders? I just found out they pulled Paxton into an interrogation and never once told me about it or what they learned from it.”
“I would inform them they are no longer needed to serve the role and that they are in under this new rule of the Dragon Queen. Although, I should add the caveat that you will be creating a group of advisers instead. If they would like to put their nomination in for that role, you will consider it and inform them if they gain the position or not. Personally, I would make the viceroys along with Sal as your historical advisers like they had Sal doing previously, in addition to other advisers who can help in other ways.”
“Now why didn’t I think of that?” I huffed, seeing it as the perfect solution for what I would need and not to ruffle too many feathers along the way to a new way of doing things. “Too bad I can’t make you one of those advisers. You could teach them all a thing or two.”
“Yes, well, they wouldn’t listen or trust my words the way you will. Such is the pair-bond between dragons and their humans, which I will forewarn you, there is much for you and the others to learn about.”
“Delightful. Just when I thought I had enough on my plate to worry about.”
“Since you are already bonded to a dragon, it won’t be as large of a revelation as it will be for the others. I just wanted to alert you to the subject coming up in the near future. It explains how they have so many dragon riders versus what is happening in the rest of our world.”
“That actually sounds like it would be beneficial, unlike some of the other dramas I’ve faced the last few days. If they had told me it would be this hard to be queen, I might have taken my chances in the wild.”
Vasin just chuffed at me as he wheeled back over the camp below, watching people getting on dragons. “Now that we’ve traveled this far, how long will it take for them to get back to Sheca?”
“You could do two trips in a day if you wanted them to send back another group of dragons.”
“If we could get everyone not on horseback to Sheca, then it would make the journey easier, and people would be less tired, making it safer.”
“Does that mean you wish to return to camp?”
“Might as well. I won’t let the rest of my people go alone with the clan leaders. It would prove they are still more in power than I am. It will already be hard enough to retrain them all out of that mindset after so many decades of them leading.”
With a hum of acknowledgment, he descended into the pass, landing in an open spot that the previous dragon left open.
I saw two teenage girls next in line to be placed on a dragon, so I waved them over once I slid off Vasin’s back.
“Come, let me introduce you to Vasin. He’ll take good care of you on the way to Sheca.
” As they approached, the girls looked warily at Vasin, but he just settled on the ground, tucking his wings away, trying hard not to look intimidating.
“Would you like to pet him? He loves to get his eye ridges scratched,” I suggested as he swung his large head over for me to show them what I meant.
“He wouldn’t eat us for touching him?” one girl asked, a quiver in her voice.
Smiling at them, I wrapped my arms around Vasin’s snout and placed kisses on his scaled forehead.
“Not at all. He is a gentle giant as long as you respect the fact he is an intelligent being. People get in trouble when they treat him like a horse or another pack animal that doesn’t share the same level of understanding.
He is like you and me in how he thinks, so treat him the same way, and you’ll never go wrong with any dragon. ”
“Hello, Mr. Dragon… I mean, Mr. Vasin,” the other girl greeted, bobbing a curtsy.
Vasin gave a soft, pleased trill as he nodded his head in return before extending his leg to make it easier for them to climb on. Giving one last confirming glance at me, they scampered up, and I helped walk them through how to attach the harness straps.
“Make sure to tuck your cloaks nice and tight around you. The wind gets even colder the higher you go,” I warned, then gave them a wave as Vasin took off to join the other waiting dragons.
I felt someone step up beside me. The familiar presence alone told me who it was, so I relaxed. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to come back or just leave us to deal with a group of sulking grown men for the day,” Becka said.
“If I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure if I was going to either, but then talking to Vasin always seems to put things into perspective,” I shared. “How many do we have left on foot after this group heads out?”
“Hmm, I think a little under a hundred, but there won’t be any more kids so that will help. This also means we will have plenty of tents if you don’t want uninvited guests again,” she mentioned with a sideways glance. “Unless you enjoy having them keep you warm.”
Snapping my head to face her, I scowled. “What exactly does that mean?”
“Seems I was mistaken on how things went down last night. One could only hope you might be able to actually relax if a man blessed you with a few mind-blowing orgasms. Don’t look at me like that.
The men might be a pain in the ass to deal with, but orgasms are always worth it,” Becka answered before she gave me a wink and headed off to the horses.
Unsure what to do with that statement, I decided to leave it alone.
I wasn’t ready to deal with that part of what it meant to be in a relationship.
I was just trying to wrap my head around the emotional aspect, making me anxious.
Thankfully, there were still a few more days before I had to cross that bridge.