19. The Things We Do for Love
The Things We Do for Love
After the punishment was doled out, we returned to the house we had slept in and found the kitchen table covered in food. An older woman stood in the kitchen, removing a pot of steaming hot liquid that smelled amazing.
“Oh, you’re back. Wonderful, just in time while the food is hot.” She greeted us with a smile. “My name is Marta, and this is my home. I’m very pleased to be hosting you until you can move to the castle.”
It hadn’t dawned on me that this home had to be someone’s and wasn’t just left empty here for us to use. Many of our people had similar situations with others taking them in if they had room while the rest had to camp out until more permanent lodging could be made.
“Thank you so much for giving us a place to stay. It was heavenly to sleep in a warm bed after our travels,” I shared as I sat at the table. “Everything looks wonderful. I hope we didn’t make too much trouble for you having to feed us all.”
“Nonsense, it is my honor to serve the queen and her men,” Marta answered, brushing off my concern. “No, please sit, eat… I just finished making some kavat which should help you warm up after being out in the damp.”
Marta filled the mug and gave it to me, but before I could take it from her, Izel intercepted it, took a sip before waiting a moment, then handed it to me. I gave him a questioning look, but he just smiled, made a plate, sampled everything, and then set it in front of me.
“Izel, did you just check my food for poison?” I demanded with a frown.
“Yes,” he stated. “After all that has happened, I wouldn’t put it past an angry family member or someone else in the clans to retaliate against the death of the clan leaders.”
My anger flared at this, and I slammed the mug on the table. “Don’t ever do that again! What would have happened if it were poisoned, and you died? What good would that have done anyone?”
“Better me than you,” Izel answered as he made up a plate for himself and sat like he hadn’t just risked his life for mine.
I knew it was their job to keep me safe, but I never intended for them to go out of their way to risk their lives by doing such foolish things like testing my food or killing their family members.
“That is where we differ in our thought process, my dear guardian.” I scanned the table with narrowed eyes at all the men seated at the table.
“Don’t think you’re off the hook for the stunt you pulled back there.
Whose idea was it for you to do the job?
I’m sure there is someone here who has been given the title of executioner. ”
“As it so happens, there wasn’t one since they haven’t had to behead someone in almost two hundred years.
Most crimes don’t warrant death, and the criminals tend to be locked away for life or banished from the land.
I hear a few were eaten by dragons, but that was because the offense was made against them, so they decided on the punishment,” Paxton volunteered.
Letting out a huff of air, I shook my head. “I should have guessed it was your idea, seeing as you brought your father along.”
“It was a joint effort between Jade and me,” Paxton corrected. “But the others saw the reasoning behind it and agreed.”
Becka placed a hand on my arm from where she sat next to me. “Why don’t we talk about this later once we’ve eaten and had a chance to process everything that’s happened this morning?”
Begrudgingly, I agreed and started on my breakfast which was the best I’ve eaten since the last time I was in Sheca.
Fresh eggs, pork, and warm bread were such a treat and something I hadn’t had since leaving my home.
The mercenaries of the Raven Rose weren’t farmers in the way that the people of Sheca were.
They provided for us, but it was more in grains, using the livestock for milk and their coats to barter and sell.
My hope was after this meal, I could change, head up to the castle, and start to explore what lies behind those doors, but that hope was dashed when a knock came at the door.
A man entered, holding a message for me that Jade took from the man and looked over before he handed it to me.
Just when I didn’t think these men could get any more overprotective, they started to pull stunts like this.
It made me miss the days of strategy and never leaving the mountain fortress.
The letter was a request from the viceroys to meet them after I was done with our meal to go over coronation preparations.
It would seem that a queen’s life wasn’t her own, and as much as I wanted to explore the castle, I needed to secure my station officially as queen.
Once this was done, I would be moved into the castle, and I could explore it to my heart’s content when I wasn’t needed to plan a battle or deal with other things that queens deal with.
Those who believe that having a crown lets you do whatever you want is a lie.
It means you are the last one to do as you wish.
“Please let them know I will be over shortly,” I told the messenger. He bowed and backed out the door without saying a single word.
“What did the letter say?” Cole asked.
I glanced at him over the paper I still held and raised a brow. “I’m sorry, was this note written to you?”
Cole scowled. “Mouse, now is not the time to get sassy about things. We need to know what’s going on to keep you safe.”
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, but for now, I’m enjoying this lovely meal Marta prepared for us,” I answered with a smirk.
Cole looked as if he was about ready to leap from his chair and snatch the letter from me when Abbott grabbed his shoulder and shook his head. “Let it go. She said she’ll tell us.”
This seemed to settle him for now, but he kept shooting daggers at me, letting me know I was going to pay for my stubbornness one way or another.
I loved that these men took their role so seriously, but every now and then, I just wanted to let go and be us—the us who drank and played games together—and not the queen and her guards who needed to watch her every move.
If we were ever going to have a life together, we needed to work on when to be in our roles and when to be ourselves.
We ate until we were stuffed and couldn’t take another bite because everything was just so good.
Marta was thrilled at our reaction to her cooking, but when we tried to help clean up, she shooed us out the door.
“There is no way I will ever let the Dragon Queen and her guardians clean up after me. The village would shame me if they ever found out. Now go, you have much more important things to do.”
As we stood on the porch of the house, Cole crossed his arms and gave me a look. “Would the Dragon Queen like to share with us where we are off to now?”
“If you must know, we are going to meet with the viceroys to go over coronation preparations at the village hall where they reside and hold council,” I answered.
“There, now was that so hard?” Cole grumbled. “I’m not trying to be an asshole, Cassarah, but things are dangerous right now. We don’t know who else might have been involved with the plan to overthrow you.”
“I am extremely aware of the situation, Cole,” I said as I headed down the steps and into the muddy road, making my way to the middle of the village.
“What I don’t understand is why you all are so worked up about it.
I’ve been in danger since the day you came to find me at my parents’ home.
What has changed that now has you all so hyper-vigilant? ”
“Naytan,” Zan spoke up this time. “None of us expected anyone from Sheca to be assisting in the plot to remove you from being queen. Now that we know he had enough followers to make a move like he did, it makes us worry there are more hidden in plain sight. I’ve known these people all my life, and outside of Naytan and the few people who were with him last night, I wouldn’t have guessed anyone was angry enough to do this.
Now every person I look at, I wonder if they will attack you or are secretly planning your death. ”
Hearing him put it that way made me pause, face them, and look at them—really look at them.
What I saw was fear. They were genuinely scared something would happen to me.
Had I gotten so used to the fact my life was in danger all the time that I didn’t see the toll it was taking on them as they tried to keep me alive?
I’d been worrying about how they would feel if I picked them as a consort, but I hadn’t taken the time to understand that what worried them more was the unknown dangers lurking around every corner.
Even Becka and May, who I knew loved me like a sister, seemed to be worn a little thin.
“Let’s deal with this and find some time for us all to talk tonight.
Just us, all right?” I offered, knowing I couldn’t ignore dealing with the coronation.
They all agreed, and we headed off on a somewhat lighter note.
I slowed to walk beside Gavin and caught his hand, intertwining our fingers.
“You don’t need to come with us to do this if you need some time to yourself or want to be with Phillip and your mother. ”
“No, it’s better to keep busy. Mother doesn’t want to see me.
When I tried last night, she started to throw things at me, cursing me for ever being born.
I think it’s better right now to let her be,” he answered, squeezing my hand.
“Although I have to be honest, I didn’t know my mother loved my father as much as she did.
It always seemed like she was covering for him, ruling because she had to and not because she wanted to. ”
“I never understood why my father loved my mother so much. She was always so cruel to him, never having a nice word to say, but I could see in his eyes how much he loved her. I think that’s what love is, though…
being able to see the person behind all the mess and who they truly are.
They always say that love is blind, but what if it’s not that they are blind to their flaws but accept them as part of who they are?
Imagine a love like that. It would be rather amazing, don’t you think? ” I mused.
Gavin chuckled, making me glance at him in confusion. “Love, you just described how you care for each of us. You don’t see our flaws the same way others do because you look past them to who we are despite our shortcomings.”
His words caught me off guard and left me unsure how to respond. “I do?”
“The fact you have no idea makes it even more amazing. Like I know you would pardon my mother despite all that has happened because you don’t want to hurt me or Phillip.
Know that I will never ask that of you, and you shouldn’t unless Mother has proven without a doubt that she is a true supporter.
Yet the fact that you’ve already considered it makes me humbled and fall even more in love with you than I already have. ”
I stopped so suddenly that Paxton crashed into me and grabbed my waist to keep me from falling into the mud. “Whoa there, spitfire, that would have been a messy fall.”
“Sorry, I just stumbled, is all,” I mumbled as I pulled myself back together, slipping out of his hold. I glanced at Gavin but knew that if I dwelled on what he just said, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else.
He had told me previously that he had feelings for me and didn’t want to leave my side, but I didn’t take a declaration of love so casually.
How could he possibly love me after all that’s happened and now the death of his father?
I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to be as far away from me as possible.
Not having the time to deal with that as I walked up the steps to the main hall where the viceroys were, I set that worry aside and readied myself to become the Dragon Queen.