Jade
Everything was set for us to leave for Creisal.
Cassarah had us all working tirelessly to ensure things would be settled here in Sheca for Ballard and Alsten to maintain.
We had backup plans on backup plans in place for anything that might happen.
Our world was at war, and Sheca was a major target since my little bird was the queen.
Since our conversation and the matter of spending one-on-one time with Cassarah was discussed, things have worked out naturally.
We all had breakfast together, catching up about what was going to happen throughout the day.
May and Becka were constant companions to Cassarah while she had us working on things in and out of the castle.
Becka, already having been her personal maid growing up, now turned into her assistant.
She ensured that Cassarah got to meetings on time, took time to eat, and checked in with us throughout the day, making sure we knew where she would be.
If there were ever a woman more suited to being queen than Cassarah, I couldn’t picture it.
She gave every matter her utmost attention, treating each person and their needs equally.
The viceroys, now turned advisers, were having a challenging time retraining people to now address matters with the queen instead of them.
Cassarah devised the brilliant plan that instead of doing her hearings in the throne room, she would conduct them in the village hall, where they’d been going.
“Guys, it gives me a chance to leave this place and be with the people,” she pointed out. “Remember, I’m not the type of queen to view myself as above anybody. I want to be a queen who knows her people. Being in the village also ensures I know what is happening on a daily basis.”
Cole and I both knew it was pointless to argue with her once she decided it wasn’t worth the fight.
While I stood behind the fact that it wasn’t the wisest choice for her to make in our current situation, it was true to who she was.
The Lost King might be breathing down our necks, moving his people into formation, and gearing up for an attack, but that didn’t mean Cassarah would hide away.
Letting out a long, heavy sigh, I leaned against Tahir as I watched my little bird talking with her dragon.
Those two had a relationship that would make anyone envious.
While I knew in my heart Cassarah loved me as much as I loved her, despite the arguments about her safety, it was sometimes hard to let myself believe that anyone else could care enough about me to watch my back.
My own brother tricked me into killing my parents and then hung me out to dry, hoping I would be put to death for their murder.
When Cassarah asked us if we considered each other family—brothers—I just couldn’t bring myself to say what I felt.
My first interaction with most of these men when I brought Cassarah to the mountain hideout was less than welcoming.
Granted, I had been an incredibly closed-off person, but something about how Cassarah fought for what was right had me wanting to help, even if the Norden king and queen were owed nothing from us.
Of course, I didn’t know she’d been raised as a noble, but she didn’t risk it all out of alliance—it was the core belief of it being the right thing to do.
My darkness craved the light she brought into my life, so I was willing to suffer the other men called to be her guardians.
We’ve butted heads many times, but even still, we formed a bond of men who all loved the same woman, willing to do whatever it took to keep her safe, even if it was from herself.
While I did feel these men were friends, something I’ve almost never had in my life, the title brother or family was so tainted for me I didn’t know how to get past it.
I’d known Cassarah was worried about me, but I wasn’t ready to come forward with my thoughts and fears just yet, and now we were getting ready to leave for Creisal, a kingdom we didn’t know or trust. The Lost King has had his grip on it for years, so who knows what the queen might have secretly done.
If there was a time that all of us guardians needed to be on the same team, it was now.
So, I asked the men to meet with me while Cassarah was dealing with a few last-minute things.
While waiting for them to arrive, I paced the library in our quarters, trying to find the right words to articulate what I needed to say.
I wasn’t the world’s best speaker, and my temper was quick to flare, but this needed to be addressed.
“What’s up, man? You know we need to leave when Cassarah’s done, right?” Cole asked as he entered with Abbott and Izel.
I waved them off, motioning for them to take a seat while the others filed in.
There they all were, looking at me expectantly, with a hint of irritation on Cole and Paxton’s faces.
Stopping my pacing, I turned to them and widened my stance as if I were preparing myself for battle.
They might know what happened with my parents, but that wasn’t the only mission I’d been sent on over the years.
It’s just the one that was used to try and get rid of me.
“Look, we all have our pasts and secrets we don’t want anyone to know about.
I’m the Grim Reaper who killed his parents and was cast out of the clan to be an outlier.
While I was left to fend for myself, I used my skills as an assassin to keep myself going.
Some of those jobs were pretty high profile, and no one knows that they happened,” I explained.
Paxton rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jade, just get to the point. I was a spy for another kingdom. Do you think my hands are clean of shady shit? Say what you need to say so we can all figure out what has you so moody.”
While I wanted to punch Pax, he was right.
I just needed to spit it out. “Fine, I was the one who killed the Crown Princess of Errit that the Lost King was married to. I didn’t know who hired me.
They used a third party to make the deal.
It was money I couldn’t pass up at that time.
Now that I look back over the jobs I had, I think the Lost King used me more than once to get people out of his way.
No one knew I used to be part of the clans.
I kept that to myself, but a man who looks like me with the Birthright I have… word travels fast.”
They all sat there in stony silence, staring at me with shocked expressions.
“So, what you’re really saying is that the Lost King already knows who you are and what you can do?” Cole concluded. “Did you ever meet him in person? I know you’ve seen him since you and Cassarah attacked his camp.”
“No,” I answered, shaking my head. “Never have I met that man… it was always different people. That’s why I didn’t connect the dots until Cassarah. Now that we are looking at the big picture of all that was done to set up this whole war, I can point out where I helped him remove an obstacle.”
Abbott leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked up at me. “Why are you telling us this?”
“Cassarah wants us to be a family, and that idea scares the shit out of me. The only family I’ve ever known betrayed me, and I betrayed them.
I killed my fucking parents because my brother set me up to do it.
The thought of letting more people in my life who could do the same thing to me is terrifying.
Yet, I know when we leave Sheca, that’s it…
this war has begun. As her guardians and consorts, we all need to be on the same side, trusting each other.
I’m coming clean about this to you because I didn’t want it to come out some other way, and you see it as me lying to you or holding back information.
” Sighing, I run my hands over my head and start pacing again.
“Telling you this gives you the power to ruin me, but I have to trust Cassarah and the fates that brought us together. It’s my proof that I’m in this, fully committed to this family we’ve created.
I’m going to tell Cassarah, of course, but I felt that it would show you how sincere I am to have you hear it from me first.”
Gavin stood and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug.
Shock echoed through my body at the act, never having expected that kind of reaction.
Stepping back, he held my shoulders and looked me in the eye.
“Thank you for telling us, Jade. It’s clear it was hard for you to do, and I want you to know I appreciate your trust in us. ”
“Ah… thanks,” I answered awkwardly, slightly uncomfortable with the affection.
Gavin sat, looking at the others like they should be doing the same thing. In situations like this, it was clear the prince was raised much differently than we were. Abbott walked up to me, slapped me on the back, and left the room, clearly not feeling the need to dwell on the matter any longer.
“Anyone else have some deep, dark secret they want or need to share?” Zan asked as Ezzu looked around the room for him to see everyone.
“No? Great, I suggest we all take this information as the offering it was intended to be and move on. None of you better say a damn thing to Cassarah either until Jade has spoken to her personally. As a family, it’s the right thing to do.
” With that announcement, the others all nodded their agreement.
“It’s nice to see what a real family is supposed to be like,” I said under my breath as they all left the room, leaving Pax sitting there with his legs crossed, waiting for me to notice him. “What?” I snapped.