Chapter 73
Me
I have her. She’s safe. We’ll be headed back soon.
Nero
What happened?
Me
Too much. I’ll explain later.
I slip the phone in my back pocket as the bedroom door opens and Anastasia steps out, her expression grim but also calm. She spots me leaning on the wall, where I’ve been waiting ever since the Bratva’s doctor left earlier after patching us all up. Lev had the worst injuries, and then their doctor bandaged me up, gave me pain meds, and diagnosed it’d be healed soon. Vanessa disappeared almost instantly and refused to get checked by him.
“He okay?”
“He’ll live. Your sister’s still in there.” She walks away.
I wait until she’s halfway down the hallway before allowing myself inside, finding Serafina sitting on a chair beside the bed where Lev rests. The sheet’s drawn to his waist, revealing the bandage on his shoulder. He’s passed out, presumably with the assistance of medicine.
My sister looks up as I enter and shut the door behind me. Dark rings line her eyes and her hair’s a mess atop her head but still, she smiles. The blood’s been cleaned from her face and she changed into a fresh set of clothing, courtesy of Vanessa.
I cross the room to her side, scanning over Lev. “You haven’t left his bedside.”
“He saved my life.” She pauses, rubbing her lips together. “He doesn’t even know me, but the instant Vanessa warned him, he didn’t hesitate to push me aside and take the hit himself.” She shifts in the chair, drawing my attention to her hand resting beside his. “Given our height differences, it would have been my head if he didn’t.”
Bile fills my throat as the unwelcome image slips into my head. Of Serafina on that warehouse floor with blood spilling from her?—
I cough, rubbing a hand over my face. “I’m grateful then.”
“They’re not bad people,” she murmurs. “Vanessa came right away when that man called, despite the shit between you two. You realize, we’re both alive because of her, right?”
An ache blooms over my chest. Because as much as I hate admitting it, she’s right and I have nothing to reply with.
“She’s outside.”
“What?”
Serafina follows my gaze, where it’s found the window beside the bed—and the treetops beyond. “I saw her heading out there about twenty minutes ago. That’s where you can find her.”
Hiding presumably. She’s waiting for Serafina and I to leave so she can tuck my entire existence behind her.
“And?” I keep my tone flat for my sister’s sake. No point in introducing her to heartache.
She spins on the chair until facing me, bringing her legs up into a crossed position. “Z, you care about her. Just gotta look twice, and it’s so obvious.”
I scan Lev’s face, seeking any sign that he’s listening in. Ideally, their doctor gave him something strong so he’s not overhearing this. “You’re a child, You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Usually, a comment like that would piss her off, but this time she merely stares at me, her brows lifting. “You have the worst case of denial ever.”
Her eyes drill into me, like she can see right through my lie. “It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving soon.”
Her mouth flattens and she glances over her shoulder. “Can we stay ‘til he wakes up?”
“Why?”
“So I can thank him. After all, he did save my life.”
The reminder, not that I needed it, is packed with the point she’s trying to make. “Fine. Once you do, we’re leaving.”
“Okay.” She stands and drifts toward the window, leaning against the wall beside it and crosses her arms, murmuring, “It’s beautiful here. No offense, but I think I like it more than the openness of the villa.” When I stand beside her, she points to a spot in the forest. “She went through there.”
Ignoring her blatant attempt, I force my eyes away from that spot, instead turning so my back’s to the window as I lean against the adjoining wall. “What happened when you got kidnapped?”
“I was downtown, walking to get away from the house. Seeing how far I could get away from your soldiers.”
I cough. “You know?”
With an eye roll, she groans. “They’re a bit too obvious.”
“They were also a bit too useless.” It comes out as a near-growl. “You were taken and they did nothing. How’d that happen?”
She shrugs. “I went into a store, turned down some aisle, and that’s the last thing I remember. Literally.”
As she talks, I scan her neck, spotting the tiny pinprick I didn’t notice earlier. They grabbed her the same way they took me out, the fuckers.
“I expected kicking and screaming if you learned about your new bodyguards.”
She peers up at me with a smirk before jerking her head toward the bed. “After he wakes up, ‘cause I don’t want to disturb him. Seriously, though, why do I need them?”
I open my mouth but hesitate to admit the truth. If my suspicions are correct, I need to know if she’s truly in danger. If the Vitales are pulling what I think they’re about to.
But when Lev coughs in his sleep, she immediately goes back to his bedside. She retakes her seat and rests her hand on top of his. His coughing fades into a sigh and he returns to sleep.
Once his breathing is paced again, Serafina looks my way, but the moment’s obviously gone. Besides, if Lev is in and out of sleep, I’d rather no one outside Nero and Elio be aware of this possible complication.
“Go see her,” she demands suddenly.
“Sera—”
“Z, you weren’t paying attention ‘cause your head is so far up your ass, but in that warehouse, whenever she looked at you, she was fucking terrified .” She glances at the white bandage on my arm. “I wasn’t even there for that part, but I could only imagine.”
Vanessa appears, her hands tearing at mine until seeing the bullet wound for herself. She rips the bottom of her blood-stained shirt and wraps the material around my bicep, putting pressure on the wound.
I say her name, but she ignores me.
I repeat it again, this time cupping her face, needing to see for myself she’s okay. She was in more scraps than me, and every slice on her face, every drop of blood makes me want to tear her uncle away from the soldiers and show him how Mancinis deal with our enemies. To keep him alive long enough that every scream is a fraction of what’s owed for her injuries.
“I’m okay. Because of you.”
“You’re hurt because of me.”
“I’m okay. It’s over. You did good. You saved me.”
I blink away the memory of earlier.
“It was an act for her uncle.” An act for him…and for herself.
“She loves you.”
“She wants nothing to do with me.”
“Glad you’re alive, Mancini. Wouldn’t want to explain to the Cosa Nostra why one of their capos was killed on my territory.”
Her huff could very well be heard from downstairs. “Fine. She doesn’t love you. How do you feel about her?”
“I—” Words stick in my throat. I…can’t finish the words.
She smiles like a winner. “My point exactly. I’ll stop prying but do you really want to go back to Rome without knowing what could be between you two?”
I tried that. Almost twice but after her uncle’s capture, she still wouldn’t look at me. It’s like we went back to before everything went down, when she let me walk away from the club.
My gaze goes to the window again. Somehow, I know exactly where in the forest she is, and how easy it’d be to track her.
Mio Dio, I want to.
Want to find her. Claim her. Never let her go. Make her face her own feelings; the ones I saw etched in her expression as she bandaged me up. When she saw me held at gunpoint by Ivan.
I inch away before I can stop myself—because my sister’s right. What happened with her uncle changed things, even if she’s refusing to say them aloud. It’s changed her so much that she’s running.
The door opens again, saving me from replying. Anastasia carries in a bowl of soup and a water bottle, which she hands to Serafina. “Figured you’d be hungry after that ordeal.”
Serafina shoots me a look over Anastasia’s shoulder that says, See? reminding me of her earlier statement: “They’re not bad people.”
While my sister and Anastasia murmur over Lev’s passed out form, I glance at the window again.
The trees beyond.
And the woman hiding within them.
The woman who needs to face me—and her feelings before I can make her mine.
She’s nestled exactly where I guessed she’d be: between the three trees she found me passed out between. She won’t admit it, but there’s a reason why out of an entire forest, it’s these three she’s by.
Vanessa’s head shoots up at my approach like a spooked deer and immediately gets to her feet, keeping her back to the trunk. She watches me approach like prey faced with a predator, but little does she realize, she’s as much the predator right now as she is the prey. She has the ability to destroy me even while I set out to destroy her.
“You’re still here.”
“Sera wants to thank Lev when he wakes up. I owe him for saving her life. And you, since it was your warning.”
A protectiveness flashes through her gaze. “He was only doing what’s right.”
My head ticks thoughtfully to the side and I echo Serafina’s words. “He’s a good guy. You all are.”
She looks away, and her jaw tightens into a straight line. “Why are you out here, Zeno?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Why?”
“Because I needed to see you.”
“Why?”
“Are you really going to make me say it?” Exasperation makes my knees weak and I all but stumble to her side. “Vanessa?—”
She flinches away, pulling her arms in tighter. “What happened changes nothing.”
“It changes everything .” My hand snaps out and grasps her chin, forcing her face toward me before she can run again. I’m done playing. Done amusing her. Done allowing her to control our interactions. If she runs, I’m hunting her ass. “How long are you going to keep hiding from what we both know is true?”
“I’m not?—”
“Bullshit, Vanessa,” I snap. “For a short while, I got to see the real you. That’s the woman I fell?—”
“Stop.” She yanks her face away, twisting it to the side as though to hide from me—an impossible feat because I see her. I’ve always seen her, and I vow to continue. “Just stop,” she repeats with a heavy sigh.
“You don’t get to ignore this anymore.”
She drops her arms, but even so, remains closed off. “We agreed that this…whatever this is, is over.”
“I was wrong.” I step into her, so close she can’t ignore the pounding of my heart.
A heart that only beats because of her; today could have gone much differently.
A heart that now only beats for her .
“You claim today changed nothing, but I don’t believe that for one fucking second. Why didn’t you give me up?”
She blinks. “Serafina?—”
“I’m not talking about her. I had little doubt you’d save her, and fuck, it’s exactly what I wanted. I’m talking about you giving up the organization in exchange for my life. Those weren’t actions from the Merciless Queen.”
She’s silent, but I’m not. I refuse to be until we address this.
“I’ll tell you what I think. I think you’re still running. I think when you chose me, you realized that you’ve changed from the woman you used to be.”
She scoffs, but her flick of her bottom lip implies a slight anxiety, telling me I’m not that far off. “Don’t give yourself that much credit.”
“Prove me wrong.” I walk backwards two paces, granting her enough space she can slip toward freedom. “Go then.”
She stands her ground, and it’s an action that speaks volumes.
A minute passes before I talk again, this time in a quieter tone. “Because you don’t want to let yourself be vulnerable. Your father showed you no love. Your uncle betrayed you all the fucking time. And I’ve lied to you numerous times, but I’m not apologizing. Not this time. Not when it gave me you. If you’ll just let me in.”
She’s breathing heavier now, as though my words have a physical toll on her. She switches between staring at her feet and off in the distance, but when her eyes clash with mine—sky blue to grassy green—I know I’ve gotten through to her.
“Vanessa—”
“I don’t know how to love!” Her explosion calms the forest around us. The wind dies to a stillness, the faraway chirps of birds fade into a lifeless silence. Even my heart stalls. “You’re right, okay? That what you want to hear? I don’t know how to let someone in because I haven’t exactly had the greatest role models. I’m sorry, Zeno, but I can’t be the woman for you. Not when you deserve so much more.”
“I deserve you.”
A choking sound comes from her. Tears well in the corner of her eyes but once again, she merely shakes her head and looks away. Her throat moves with her swallow and the fact she hasn’t run off yet tells me a part of her wants—perhaps needs—this conversation.
I reach for her again, and this time, she doesn’t shy away. “What are you scared of, mia regina ?”
Her eyes squeeze shut and when they reopen, they’re glistening with lost hope. “Everything. Losing you. Being betrayed.” She lifts her hand, reaching for the bandage on my arm, but drops it when she gets too close, but it’s the action that speaks a million words and explains her fear.
I pull her against me, wrapping my arms around her hips and bending closer, so when I reply, it paints the promise of more on her mouth. So she realizes I’m not going anywhere without her—death or otherwise. “I want you. I don’t know when or how I fell for you, but I saw the woman beneath the fa?ade and was fucking helpless. I couldn’t let you go, no matter how hard I tried. When you walked out of my house, you were all I thought about for days. When I walked away from you at the club, there was no greater pain.
She stares. And stares.
And stares.
A tear slides down her cheek. My thumb strokes over her cheek to catch it.
“I don’t know how to be that woman.”
“Vanessa, you already are.”
This conversation is a sentiment to her newfound vulnerability. How she trusts me, the person who deserves it the least but cherishes it the most. From here on out, I’ll never let her doubt me again. Never give her a reason to fear the future.
“You need to hold me accountable too. Don’t let me fuck up. Call me out on my shit. You should never have to question my motives.” I pause, searching her face for the final answer I need, but not finding it—not yet. Not until she offers it up. “Answer for an answer.”
A bit of her foundation cracks with the bid of our repeated game. “What do you want to know?”
“Do you love me? I want the truth because if the answer is anything but yes, then I’ll leave and vow you’ll never see me again because I won’t be able to do it. I won’t go through life without you unless I know with absolute certainty you don’t feel anything for me. When you answer, don’t think about not knowing how to love. I just want the truth.” Just want you. “Vanessa Volkov, do you love me?”
Her lips part and I long to kiss them. To never stop kissing them, but until I get her answer, she’s a fruit still forbidden to me.
For every passing beat of my heart, anxiety creeps up. An anxiety I haven’t felt in a long time, and don’t want to ever again.
“Yes. I love you, Zeno.”
The forest comes alive with her response. The winds pick up. The birds chirp again.
And me—I feel again. Truly, utterly, and completely.
“Is this a way to break my defenses down again?”
At first, her question bruises my ego. That still, she won’t see through my previous lies. But when she tips her head down and peeks at me through her lashes, there’s a vulnerability I’ve never before seen, and I realize her question isn’t malicious. She’s only seeking a bit of honesty.
“You’re unbreakable. Believe me, I’ve tried.” That earns a small smirk from her. “Never again. This is it for us.”
A shudder runs through her and something flicks on. I’d like to say I did the impossible and broke her down, but in actuality, she broke me. By giving herself to me, she’s mine, and I’m hers.
Equals always.
She lifts onto her toes to brush her mouth against mine, more uncertain and tentative than ever before. She’s not the woman I met in the club; there’s a new softness to her, and I realize I’m enjoying it. I like every aspect of her. Cold and hard. Warm and soft.
I clutch her tight to my chest, all the while feeling my heart explode into a million and one pieces as I walk her backwards until we hit the tree. A small sound releases from her lips.
Her admittance unlocks a part of us both and there is no more being gentle.
Our kiss is ravenous, hungry, needy . Nails skate up my side, yanking my shirt with it. She’s quick to pull it over my head and replace her touch, which I’m very close to getting tattooed onto my skin. She reaches for my belt, but I arch away, going for her shirt instead.
“Oh...” Her brows lift. “You think because I handed myself over to you in the club, that arrangement was permanent?”
“I know it was.”
I lift her up by her ass until she’s pinned between the tree and me. Her legs snake my waist, nails making jagged red lines over my shoulders, marking me as hers.
I take her mouth again, only breaking to peel her top off. Her breasts feel amazing in my hand, so full and warm, and her head falls against the bark, her low moan joining the sounds of the birds. I kiss from her lips over toward the sensitive place behind her ear, lingering there to enjoy the sound of her breaths evaporating. My lips journey downwards over the curve of her breasts and toward her budded nipples, every sound she makes sending signals to my cock.
“Am I too heavy? Your injury?” Her questions are fragmented, but I understand the meaning.
I grind against her instead of replying. When I don’t place her down, she’ll get that the injury is secondary to her. Our position allows her to feel everything she’s done to me. This won’t be slow, not right now. After all we’ve been through, Vanessa and I deserve to blow up the forest.
“Keep your legs around me,” I order and begin working her leggings off. Damn material, stretchy or otherwise, is too tight and after impatience has me nearly ready to burn down the factory that creates these fucking things, I give up and tear the material.
“Ass. These are my favourite.”
“I’ll buy you more.”
Since I’ve already destroyed some of her clothing, I rip her panties too, discarding them by my feet. Once she’s bare, she’s entirely too tempting not to touch. A forest nymph in her own way, I stroke my fingers between her legs, encasing them in her heat.
“Fuck, you feel amazing.”
“I’d feel better around your cock,” she says cheekily and a bit out of breath.
“Working on that.” Tearing my fingers away, I finish the job she began earlier and undo my belt, unsnap my jeans, and shove them down.
I’m already partially hard from her kiss alone, so with a few quick strokes, I’m ready. I press against her, grazing her clit with my cock, making her wet enough to take me.
She rocks her hips, trying to grind harder. Her nails scrape at my shoulders and she gasps, “Zeno, inside me. I need you.”
I need you too. In ways you don’t yet realize.
But she will.
I grasp my length and shift slightly to re-angle myself at her entrance before pushing inside a few inches. She gasps again, but takes me easily, and I pull out once to recoat myself before sinking in all the way, her loud moan my new favourite sound.
“You’re all mine, Miss Volkov. All fucking mine.”
And then I fuck her like she’s still my enemy, but claim her as my everything.