Chapter 32
SHEP
THE FLAMES CRACKLED in the fire pit as I placed a grate over them, along with the meat skewers I’d prepared earlier. Theo had watched from his perch on the counter, wine in hand, no offer to help on his tongue, which was his way of continuing to get me back for our hike earlier.
Not that he’d be much help anyway, considering he’d never been in a kitchen, much less knew his way around one. Sure, he knew how to wield a knife, but I wouldn’t trust him not to absolutely gut the steak into tiny pieces, so it was better to ply him with alcohol and send him on his way.
“Don’t let this compliment go to your head, but this is kind of impressive,” Theo said, topping off our glasses of cabernet.
He settled back into the Adirondack chair beside mine and stretched out his legs.
“I wouldn’t have guessed you liked to get your hands dirty—in all the ways—but I’m learning a lot about you lately. ”
“I can’t tell if I should be flattered or offended.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t grow up with the same silver spoon in your mouth as I did. The White House has, what, at least ten chefs?”
“Five. But that was a long time ago.” I moved a couple of the skewers around to hit the higher flames and then reached for my wine.
I was still a glass or two behind Theo and not yet feeling the nice buzz he seemed to have, but I was definitely more relaxed than I’d been in weeks.
Part of me was still keeping an eye out just in case, but the likelihood of anyone finding us out here was almost zero, and I tried to keep that in mind as I took a long sip of my drink.
Theo shifted toward me, and I couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t shaved in a few days, which only accentuated how full his lips were. They were just as much of a menace as the man himself. “So where’d you learn to do all this, then? Was there a survival course I missed when I joined?”
“There was. Cooking 101: How not to burn water.”
“And who was in charge of that one? Surely not King.”
It was an offhand comment, a joke, but just hearing King’s name, in this setting, was jarring, and I shifted my focus back to the food, making sure it didn’t burn.
Out of the corner of my eye, Theo’s mouth snapped shut, like he regretted speaking King’s name into existence. But then, like he couldn’t help himself, he said, “Did you come here with him?”
I looked back at him, and it was honest curiosity I saw in his expression. It made me wonder why he asked. Theo didn’t ask personal questions about King, or me and King, but it was obviously on his mind.
“Would that bother you?”
“No,” he said, a little too quickly, but then shrugged. “He’s your past. We all have one.”
“So it doesn’t bother you that King is my past?”
He swirled his wine. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder how you feel about it.”
“About King?”
“He seems to be a bit of a sore spot. Is it because you still have feelings for him? Or because he moved on? You never talk about it, and I remember how hard you took the breakup.”
I bristled at that, but he wasn’t wrong. And Theo had been there. All of my brothers had been. It wasn’t like this was a secret relationship to anyone in our inner circle. To the rest of the world? Yes. And that was the way King had wanted it.
“It’s”—I searched for the word, but nothing sounded right—“complicated.”
Theo didn’t say anything, just watched me silently, and I got the feeling he was hoping I’d say more. If our positions were reversed, I’d probably be dying to know what was going through his mind, considering we were all so closely intertwined.
And maybe there’d be some jealousy there. Just a little.
I threw back more wine, and Theo topped the glass back up.
“I’m glad he’s happy,” I said carefully.
Theo snorted. “Are you really?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because he went two-for-one shopping at a university for his new boy toys.”
“I don’t think they’re just boy toys.”
“What are they, twenty-two? That doesn’t scream ‘lifelong partners’ to me.”
“Zach’s a bit older,” I said, and immediately wondered why the fuck I was trying to justify King’s choices even now.
It was automatic, never wanting to make him look like the bad guy—and he wasn’t, really.
Sure, he’d cracked my world in two, but I’d never wanted to be with someone who didn’t know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was the one.
Who didn’t wake up wanting to choose me every day.
King had done me a favor, really. It was just sometimes hard to see.
“Why do you do that?” Theo asked, reading my thoughts exactly.
“I don’t know.”
“He’s not here. You can talk whatever shit you want to about him.” He mimicked zipping his lips. “I’m a vault.”
“I know you are.” I sat up and flipped all the skewers to cook on the other side.
“Then talk to me. Tell me what a fucking asshole he is. I’d love to hear it.”
I started to say he wasn’t that at all, but then shook my head. “He just wasn’t the right guy. It happens.”
“Goddammit, Shep, do I have to pay you to say something bad about the man? Just do it. It’s therapeutic.
Look, I’ll go first.” He straightened in his chair.
“King downgraded big time when he lost you. East is a brat from hell, and I think it’s hilarious he probably spends more time reprimanding him than fucking him. ”
I smirked despite myself. “Maybe that’s what he wanted.”
“A brat from hell?”
“Someone to reprimand. Maybe I was too—”
“Good for him? Oui, there you go. That’s the spirit. What else?”
“That wasn’t what I was saying. It’s just, Ty—King—and I…” I trailed off, searching for the right way to describe the situation. “We’re too much alike. Both strong willed, driven, confident—”
“Alphas.”
“Huh?”
“You’re both alphas. Both want to be top dog. Hello, the big boss and his second-in-command? What could possibly go wrong?” Theo pursed his lips. “We always wondered how that worked behind closed doors.”
My hand froze on the skewer I’d just picked up. “We?”
“Yeah, you know, the rest of us.”
I shook my head and went back to what I was doing, trying not to imagine the conversations over mine and King’s…intimate relationship.
“It worked fine.”
“Wow.” Theo snorted. “Sounds super passionate.”
My eyes flicked up to meet his across the flames.
“What? If you ever told someone that our time in bed together was ‘fine,’ I’d track you down and castrate you.”
I picked up my glass and settled back into my seat. “Good thing it’s hot as fuck, then. I kind of like my cock where it is.”
Theo slid his tongue over his lower lip, his eyes falling to my lap. “So do I. But if you think for a second I’m not going to point out you said we’re hot as fuck together, then you’re crazy.”
The wine was now buzzing through my veins as I continued to eye Theo. I probably shouldn’t have said what I just did, but the fact was that King and I were too much alike. Both in and out of the bedroom.
It had been hot at first, both of us coming together in a way that seemed to match the other’s energy.
But eventually it got to a point where we were always butting heads, always competing for the upper hand—and with King’s being my boss, I’d always felt the need to somehow prove myself to him. Prove that I could handle him.
Turned out that wasn’t what he wanted, and neither did I. He wanted to be in control all of the time, and I wanted to be able to turn it on and off depending on my mood.
“Just stating the facts,” I said. “King is with the people he needs to be with. They allow him the freedom to be himself in a way that I couldn’t, and now I can be myself. He did us both a favor—I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
“What do you mean? How could you not be yourself?”
My eyes narrowed on Theo’s curious expression. “For instance, he never would have let me fuck him at a public event in a restroom.”
He grinned. “His loss.”
“Agreed. But he was very private. Especially with the two of us. He didn’t want there to be an outward connection made. And since I was—am—such a public figure…”
“He thought it would be smarter to bang his students? Come on, Shep. Even you have to hear how ridiculous that sounds. Everyone heard about his scandal.”
“Yes, they did. But East and Zac weren’t connected to him in business in any way. They weren’t involved with Libertine. He never wanted the two to cross. Our relationship made that difficult.”
“They’re members now.”
“But not Kings.”
“Potato, potah-to. I think you’re letting him off too easy.”
I checked on the skewers and, seeing they were done, added two to a plate and handed it to Theo. “What would you have had me do?”
“I told you, castrate him.”
I chuckled and picked up my own plate. “You mind if we stop discussing King’s cock and instead focus on eating the meat in front of us?”
Theo picked up his skewer and bit down, sliding the grilled meat up the wooden stick. After swallowing the bite, he hummed his appreciation.
“I don’t care what anyone says, you are not just a pretty face, Shepard Winchester.”
“Is that what they say?”
He shrugged. “Well, you know, some people.”
I swallowed my own mouthful and crossed my ankles up on the pit. “Some people like you?”
“You asking if I think you’re pretty?”
“I’m not not asking.”
Theo started at me for a beat then said, “I think you’re pretty fucking amazing.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but that wasn’t it.
“And you’re not too hard on the eyes,” he added.
“Gee, thanks.”
“That’s high praise coming from me.”
“I believe it.”
“And for the record,” Theo said as he slid another piece of meat off the skewer, “I didn’t come to you a virgin either. Shocker, I know, but it’s true.”
I nodded. “I’ll try to hide my disappointment.”
At that exact moment, the sound of a branch cracking somewhere off in the distance had Theo jackknifing upright in his seat and looking around.
“What was that?”
I chuckled and glanced out into the black void that was the jungle. When the sound of monkeys echoed all around us, I relaxed and turned back to a concerned Theo.
“Just a few of the locals,” I told him, and then gestured to his plate. “Better finish up before one swings in here and steals your food.”
Theo’s eyes widened until they almost popped out of his head. “Are you serious? They would really do that?”
“They might.” But probably not, since they were vegetarians. But Theo didn’t need to know that, and honestly, this apprehensive, vulnerable side of the merciless King I knew was kind of endearing. “What’s the matter, Your Serene Highness? Don’t like the jungle?”
“You know what?” he said, getting to his feet, plate in hand. “I have decided I do not, and I take it back. You are not amazing. You are an asshole. A good-looking one, but an asshole all the same.”
“So you’re, what, going to take that inside?”
“Oui,” he said, then angled his chin in a way that only a true prince could do. “I’m taking my leave of you and going inside.”
I snorted at his arrogance, the condescension dripping off him. “But who will defend me against the big, scary monkeys?”
“Not funny,” Theo shouted back, storming inside the house.
The slamming of the door punctuated his annoyance as I started after him, and I couldn’t help but wonder when I’d ever had such a good time with anyone.
But the answer was easy, if not a little scary—never.