Chapter 34
SHEP
SILENCE DESCENDED AS we lay beside each other catching our breaths, a rare feat when Theo was around. It should’ve felt strange in the aftermath, the two of us coming together like this after all these years of friendship and brotherhood. Watching each other go through life, other lovers.
What was strange was that it didn’t feel strange at all.
The opposite, actually. I didn’t know what had just changed between us, but it felt like something had, like we’d crossed a line and now, here in the quiet, it was hitting us.
I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me, only that I’d definitely been the one to start it.
This was Theo. Crazy, charming, no-boundaries Theo.
I turned my head on the pillow to look at him, and there was a small smile playing on his full lips.
God, what was he thinking about? Was he having the same insane thoughts that I was? The fact that he was still here and hadn’t gone back to his room was already different from our past hookups.
“I think I’ll stay in here tonight,” Theo said like he was reading my mind, drawing the covers up his body and then giving a contented sigh as he closed his eyes.
I grinned in the dark. And that right there was the endearing side of Theo that could also be infuriating if his wishes were unwelcome. He didn’t ask for approval, just announced his plans, and you had to either go along with it or die fighting it.
Shifting onto my side, I plumped the pillow beneath my head and joined him under the sheets. “I suppose I’ll let you.”
He cracked one eye open. “Let me?”
“It is my bed.”
“Oui. Yours is better.”
I laughed at that. “They’re exactly the same, and I would know. I chose them.”
“Still better.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in here because you’re…scared?”
“Me? Scared? Pshh.”
“No? You didn’t hear those coyotes a few minutes ago?”
“Pretty sure that howling was from you when you came.” He turned on his side to face me, a slight frown marring his brow. “Merde… There aren’t coyotes in a rainforest. Are there?”
“Oh, right. Must’ve been the jaguars.”
Theo’s eyes narrowed. “Nope. I’m not falling for it. Although if there is danger lurking, you do have the biggest…gun.” He copped a feel of my bicep and gave it a squeeze.
The teasing between us came naturally, but I could sense it was just a cover for things we were leaving unsaid tonight. Things we probably needed to get out, but neither of us seemed to want to be the first to do so.
Shit. Why was I was starting to sweat?
As Theo drew his arm back, I instinctively took his hand and linked our fingers. His eyes flew up to mine in surprise…but he didn’t pull away.
“I appreciate the compliment,” I said, brushing his knuckles with my thumb, “but you can just admit you want to sleep with me.”
He gave a sexy half-smile and squeezed my fingers. “You already know that.”
It was hard to pinpoint all the different physical reactions my body was having as we lay there.
The unsteady rhythm of my heart, the nervous flutter in my stomach that only intensified when Theo’s eyes dropped to my lips.
I’d just been inside him, for Christ’s sake, yet every part of me wanted him closer still.
To reach out and run my fingers over the stubble along his jaw…
Hell, why couldn’t I?
I didn’t let myself think twice before doing exactly what I wanted to, grazing his cheek, his jaw. Theo’s lips parted, and when he leaned in to my touch, I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him.
Fuck it, I thought, threading my fingers through his hair to bring him in close. The second my mouth was on his, I felt it—that spark that was always there when we came together, the one that I’d refused to acknowledge until now.
I slipped my tongue inside to taste him again, slowly this time, letting myself explore and give his mouth my full attention. Theo matched my pace, his soft moan making my sated dick twitch beneath the sheets.
“You taste so fucking good,” I murmured between kisses, brushing my lips along the stubble of his jaw.
“Shep, I…”
“Hmm?”
“I lied earlier.”
I stilled. “About?”
“I am a little jealous.”
His words were unexpected, and I had to bite back a smile. “Is that right?”
“It’s just… I mean, it’s King. And you. The two of you together.” He pulled back and looked away for a few heartbeats before swallowing. Then he poked at my chest with his index finger. “You tell anyone that and I’ll deny it.”
He went to draw his hand away, but I took hold of him again, wrapping my fingers around his wrist and lifting it to my lips. I placed a kiss to his palm, and saw an emotion I hadn’t seen in Theo’s eyes before—vulnerability.
“I kind of like that,” I said.
“What? That I’m jealous?”
“Yes. Especially after the fool-ass way I behaved in Osaka.”
“Oh, that’s right,” he said, scooting in a little closer. His leg brushed up against mine, keeping us connected, and something in my stomach twisted with a strange sort of anticipation. “Your green-eyed monster did come out to play that night, didn’t he?”
“Can you blame me?”
“Non. I would’ve been pissed watching you eat a meal with someone while I waited outside.”
My teeth grazed the fleshy part of Theo’s palm, and I whispered, “Well, the wait was worth it, as I recall. I can’t remember ever feeling as satisfied as I did that night.”
When Theo only stared at me instead of making some quip, I wondered if my words had stunned him. In fact, the silence between us dragged on so long that I thought he might need a little more mouth-to-mouth.
“You okay over there?” I said. “I think this is the longest you’ve ever been quiet.”
He shook his head a little before running his hand down my chest. “I’m just basking in my dick’s superiority.”
“Of course that’s what you took from it.”
“I mean, that was quite a confession. I might have to break our promise and lord it over King—”
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Oh, I’m thinking about it now.” The grin on his face was entirely self-satisfied, but given his admitted jealousy of King, he had every right to be.
“Well, don’t think about it too hard. I kind of like this bed without him in it.”
Theo’s grin dropped, his nose scrunching up, and for a second there he almost looked…cute. “Now why’d you have to go and say something like that?”
I chuckled and rolled him to his back. Theo arched a brow.
“You know, I’m starting to think you like getting me on my back.”
I brushed a wayward piece of hair from his forehead and studied the high cheekbones under his stubble. “What if I told you it was more a case of liking you—period.”
Theo parted his legs, and as I settled between his thighs, he reached for my face, tracing a finger over my lips. “Didn’t I say something like that back in Monaco?”
“You did. But I wasn’t—”
“Ready to admit you were into me and my big—”
I cut his words off with a hard kiss to those taunting lips, but if I thought I’d silenced him, I was dead wrong. I’d provoked him.
He wound his legs around mine, and with his hands on my chest pushed up until he tumbled us across the bed and he ended up kneeling over me.
“I was just going to say my big castle.”
I snorted and ran my hands up his bare thighs. “Liar.”
“Am not. I do have a big…castle.”
My eyes roved down his lean muscles, to the narrow strip of hair that led down to his phenomenal cock.
“You also have a big”—I winked up at him—“ego.”
“I’m glad you noticed.”
“Pretty hard not to.”
He planted his hands on my chest as he rubbed his “ego” against mine.
“So when we get back to civilization and this fucker is caught, what happens with us?”
“Us?”
Theo froze, and I couldn’t help my smile. I hadn’t been sure where he was at when it came to us. I didn’t want to push or presume anything—but as he stared down at me, waiting for my answer, I could see a flicker of uncertainty in that usually confident gaze.
“What?” he said, drawing his hands back, but I quickly put mine over them, keeping them against my chest.
“Nothing. I just…” I chuckled. “I wasn’t sure you thought there was an us.”
“Well, it sure felt like there was one tonight.”
“Right.”
“And we keep finding our way back here. So I don’t know.” Theo shrugged, but it was obvious now the nonchalance was for show. “Maybe this is something we should explore.”
I sat up, shifting him from my waist to my lap, and brushed my lips over his. “I think you might be right.”
Theo swallowed and wound his arms around my neck. “So what does that mean? How do we do that? King will never allow it.”
I ran my fingers up his back, and thrilled when he arched into my touch. “I don’t remember needing King’s permission for who I want to da—” I caught myself before saying something so high school. But not quite fast enough.
“Date? Aw, that’s sweet. You want to date me?”
I narrowed my eyes on the troublemaker. “I also want to kiss, strangle, and fuck you. But yes.” I nipped at his lower lip. “I want to date you, and I don’t want to have to hide it.”
Theo rested his forehead to mine, and the gesture was such a soft, intimate one that it caught me off guard. It also made my heart skip several beats.
“Moi aussi j'en ai envie,” he said, then pulled back to look me in the eye. “I want that too. Besides, I think my head might explode if you decided to find someone else.”
“Explode?”
“Uh huh, and we both know how unstable I am.”
“This is true.”
“Don’t even need a knife to rid myself of a problem.”
I groaned, knowing just how lethal his hands could be. “Don’t remind me.”
“Plus, I have friends who can hide a body.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “Chaos. That’s what you are. In and out of your suit.”
“That’s right.” Theo pushed me back to the bed. “And just so you don’t forget, how about I show you just how chaotic I can be?”
And for the next couple of hours, he did just that.