Chapter 39 Shep
SHEP
IKNEW THINGS were about to get contentious when Theo was willing to risk being in nature alone to get away.
I wanted to tell him he didn’t need to leave, that anything King had to say, he could be there for, but the words didn’t come out.
So many different emotions were boiling inside me, and I didn’t know which one would burst out first. Being rash never helped anything, and I tried to just breathe and get a hold of my emotions before lashing out.
As the door clicked shut, a tense, taut silence fell between King and me, both of us ready to snap at any moment like a rubber band stretched past its limits.
He didn’t move from where he stood with his arms crossed, dark eyes narrowed on me. Anyone else would’ve cowered under his intensity, but I’d been on the receiving end of his displeasure on too many occasions to back down now.
For a long time, neither of us said a word, but I knew King so well that I could practically count down the seconds until he finally spoke.
“I trusted you.”
That was all he said, but those three words were weighted, calculated to make me feel guilty. Like I was the one who’d done something wrong.
Fuck that.
“You were right to,” I said. “Theo’s safe. That was my task.”
“By getting him into your bed.”
“I don’t remember us discussing the terms. Or my methods.”
His eyes narrowed to daggers that could kill. His disapproval and anger radiated off him as he began to prowl the room, like a dangerous animal on the hunt. “You think this is clever? Two Kings, under my roof.”
“Our roof. This house belongs to all of us.”
“Do you know the fractures this could cause within—”
“Don’t say it.”
“I’ll say it, and you’ll listen,” he said, moving closer but stopping himself from invading my space. “You two being together complicates everything. We have enough on our hands right now. We can’t afford to break the fuck apart.”
“Then maybe you should trust that I know what I’m doing.”
“I don’t think you even know. Where’s your head, Shep? Because you’re not thinking with the one on your goddamn shoulders.”
I bristled at that, my rage winning out. Fuck him if he thought I wasn’t capable of making my own decisions, or that I would do anything to tear apart the organization we had all worked so hard to build.
“You know what, Ty? Fuck you. This isn’t about the Libertines at all. This is about you. You don’t approve of this, and you want to dress it up like it’s about safety and control. Bullshit.”
I caught the flicker of surprise in the usually impenetrable King’s eyes at my pushback, but then he growled in the back of his throat. “Control is the only thing keeping us alive, Shep. You should know that better than anyone.”
“You think I don’t know that? Everything in my life revolves around our work, so don’t you dare talk to me like I’m some incompetent fucking minion and not your second-in-command.
” I didn’t give him the chance to speak, the pent-up words inside me continuing to rush out.
“And for the record, I don’t need your permission or approval when it comes to who I decide to let into my private life. You gave up the right years ago.”
“Shep—”
“No.” I held up my hand when he started toward me. “I don’t want to hear it. I know it’s killing you that you don’t get a say in who I choose to be with anymore, but too fucking bad. It’s up to me to make that decision. Not you.”
If anyone else had spoken to King that way, he would’ve had them on the ground writhing in agony. But he simply stared at me with a mixture of curiosity and skepticism, clearly not expecting this version of me.
Hell, I hadn’t either.
King’s jaw twitched, and I could see him trying to carefully choose his next words. “And you choose…Theo?”
My heart stuttered just at hearing his name, but along with that came a sense of guilt.
I’d brushed Theo off back in the bedroom when we’d been throwing our clothes on, unable to think clearly after being ambushed by King.
He’d asked if I ever planned to tell King about us, and I hadn’t answered him, hadn’t even thought through how that conversation would come up or when the right time would be, but I realized now that Theo had probably taken my dismissal in the moment to mean I wanted to hide it.
Fuck. I knew firsthand how shitty it was to be someone’s secret, and I would never do that to Theo. Just being on the other side of the door from him right now felt physically painful and wrong, which told me all I needed to know.
I wanted Theo. Not as a secret, not as a fun fling while we were hiding out.
I wanted everyone to know that wild, beautiful man was mine and I was his.
Maybe we didn’t make sense to anyone else, but we did to each other, and I didn’t want to waste another day tiptoeing around that fact.
I didn’t know how it happened or why, but I’d fallen for him so hard that I couldn’t imagine waking up tomorrow without him tangled around me.
And the way he’d just given no fucks at all when King questioned him?
No one else would dare, and that was yet another thing to lo—admire about him.
A smile threatened to turn up the corners of my mouth, and I looked down at the floor to hide it until realizing I didn’t have to.
I straightened and looked King directly in the eye. “Yes,” I said, finally answering his question. “I do choose Theo.”
For a moment, King’s composure cracked, long enough for me to see the raw emotion underneath, and then he looked away. “I see.”
Was that regret I heard in his voice? Jealousy? Or was I imagining it? King didn’t want to be with me, that much was clear, but maybe what he really didn’t want was for me to be with anyone else either. That would make a hell of a lot more sense, and I was tempted to ask him.
But what difference would it make? He’d moved on, and I was finally doing the same. Maybe he was just so used to always being in charge that it killed him not to call the shots anymore.
“I’ll admit I didn’t picture this. You and Theo. It’s”—King paused, and then his gaze flicked to our bedroom and the tangle of sheets on the floor—“unexpected.”
“That makes two of us.”
He turned away from me then, lacing his hands behind his neck as he paced the room. I didn’t need a past relationship with him to read that he wasn’t thrilled with this turn of events.
But I didn’t care. Not anymore. It wasn’t King’s feelings I had to consider—it was Theo’s.
If he still wanted to pursue this after my dick behavior.
“He’s not right for you,” King said. He still wasn’t looking at me, staring up at the painting above the fireplace, his hand braced on the mantel.
“That’s your opinion,” I countered. “And you’re wrong.”
“I’m rarely wrong.”
“That’s not never.”
That had him snapping his mouth shut, and as silence settled between us again, I found myself looking toward the door and hoping Theo would walk back through it. It was already the longest I’d been without him in weeks, and I didn’t like it. Not at all.
When King finally turned back around, there was a hard set to his jaw. Any underlying emotion he’d been feeling was gone, and in its place was the unyielding leader mask he wore.
“Do what you want,” he told me. “But if this…thing jeopardizes the Kings in any way, I’ll end it myself.”
“This isn’t something you can end, Ty. Not anymore.”
“Then you better hope he’s worth it.”
A smile curved my lips, and I didn’t care if it rankled him. “He is.”
King’s resigned, heavy exhale was the only sound in the room as he pushed off the mantel and headed for the door.
I didn’t miss that he wasn’t even looking at me anymore, but he’d just have to get over it.
This “thing” with me and Theo was happening, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.
He grabbed the door handle like he was ready to rip it open, but then paused.
“Every four days, Shep. Set a goddamn alarm if you have to.”
“Yes, boss.”
The way I’d slipped back into my status as his right-hand man had King’s shoulders settling a little, and then he nodded once and jerked the door open.
I followed after him, just in case Theo was feeling feisty and decided to push a few buttons on King’s way out. I wouldn’t put it past him to use King’s car as an ashtray for his kretek.
But as I stepped outside into the hazy, late-morning fog, I didn’t see him.
I glanced over at the chairs surrounding the firepit, expecting to see him smoking away with his legs kicked up, but he wasn’t there either.
Surely he wouldn’t have gone far, especially with visibility being so shit after a heavy rain last night.
“Theo,” I called out, checking the inside of the cars and then rounding them to head down the driveway. “You can come out now. He won’t shoot.”
“I didn’t promise that,” King muttered, but he was already checking out the other side of the property.
A strange, sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, but I refused to give it any credence as we continued to call out for Theo…and got nothing back in return.
It wasn’t until I saw the still-burning kretek on the ground that I felt my panic begin to rise.
“Ty,” I called, but my voice came out strangled, my breath getting caught in my throat. My legs gave out on me and I hit the ground hard on my knees, but I didn’t feel any pain other than the sharp stab lancing my chest as my worst nightmare came to life.
King sprinted to my side, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying, not with the blood ringing in my ears.
I looked up, my vision of him blurred as I choked out, “He’s gone, Ty. Theo’s gone.”