Chapter 31
Chapter
Thirty-One
“I love you too,” I whispered to the bathroom door. I know he can’t hear me. This might be my only chance to say it. “I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you and Diana. I want to belong in your world. To be safe. To feel wanted. If I could have any wish, that would be it. But the baggage I carry is not just a suitcase. It’s a giant angry monster, and it’s hungry and selfish and demanding. There is no hiding from it. It will devour us whole. There is no witness protection program from the rich and supernatural. What I want doesn’t matter. What I want will destroy everything.”
I hear the water faucet running. Moments later, Paul opens the door, almost knocking into me. He stops to gather me into his arms. Warm lips meet mine as he kisses me. His skin is moist, and his hair damp as if he splashed water on his face.
Paul holds my face and keeps kissing me as he walks us toward the guest room. When we go inside, he kicks the door shut with his foot. The reverberating sound of it slamming shut causes me to pull back in surprise.
He flashes a smile, and I can see the glint of mischief in his eyes. His intentions are clear, and I’m not going to stop him. The universe is taking pity on me and giving me another moment with him. I’m going to embrace it. I’ll savor every second I can get.
There are so many reasons not to do this, now and here, but for once, my brain takes a back seat and lets my body have control. Pure instinct and emotion flood my senses. I want him. He wants me. This is everything.
He gazes into my eyes with such concentration it penetrates me. He cups my cheek before running his hand back into my hair. A thumb caresses the rim of my ear, sending a shiver of anticipation over my body. I feel his thick arousal along my stomach.
I don’t need a slow seduction. I’m ready for him now. The feel of him has haunted my every breath—the texture of his firm lips, the way his eyes pierce me as if he really sees me. I place my hand over his heart, feeling the rapid beat against my fingers. Formed muscles mold against my hand. I love that he’s not all soft and pampered like most of the refined gentlemen in my family’s circle. He’s animalistic and hard, primal like a werewolf, without the unfortunate side effect of sprouting hair and fangs. And he’s much more kindhearted in temperament.
Every concern I have melts away until all I can see is Paul. He licks his lips as he stares at my neck. I wonder if he can see how fast my pulse is racing. He leans forward, drawing his lips along my neck to my ear. I feel the light scrape of his teeth against my skin. He takes a lobe between his lips.
My knees weaken at the sensation, and I grab hold of his shoulders for support. He moans at the reaction and intensifies his efforts. I fall against him, pushing into his chest. I hate that our clothes separate us.
I think about savoring the moment by drawing out the pleasure. My body disregards the suggestion. I push him away. I try to take my jacket and shirt off at the same time but end up trapping my arms above my head. The clothing surrounds my head in darkness as I wiggle to get free.
Paul chuckles as he comes to rescue me. He yanks my shirt and jacket off and drops them on the floor. “There she is.”
I thread my arms through my bra straps and push it to my waist. His shirt is off as he pulls me against him. I’ve missed his smell. It makes me tingle with awareness. My need for him is so deep it burns.
Paul jerks back the covers on the bed. We slide the remaining clothes off our hips, cherishing the moment. This place is significantly improved compared to our first time together.
I fall into his embrace. He instantly lifts me off my feet and spins me around to lay me on the bed. The cool, clean sheets caress my back as his warm body comes over me. I feel the weight of the amulet slide along the side of my neck into my hair.
The rough texture of his hands feels better than I remember. I’m obsessed with them—so strong and confident and protective. I feel safe when he touches me.
Paul caresses the length of my body, teasing and giving pleasure at the same time. I grope at his neck, trying to make him kiss me, but he resists. My eyes close when his hand slides from my hip to my inner thigh. I want to make him go faster, but he takes his time.
“I take back what I said earlier,” he whispers.
I open my eyes to look at him, not understanding.
“I am infatuated with your body.” He leans over to kiss my nipple. “I can’t stop fantasizing about you.”
I smile.
His mouth moves between my breasts as he works his way down. Hands grip my thighs, parting my legs. I watch him move lower, intimately kissing my sex. The firm press of his tongue sends a jolt of electricity through me, causing goosebumps to erupt over my flesh and my toes to curl.
I writhe beneath him, squeezing his shoulders with my legs. I try to pull him back up, but he’s too strong for me to move. I can’t force him to do anything.
“Please,” I beg.
Paul chuckles against my body, the seductive sound vibrating against me.
My thoughts are focused on him. Every nerve reaches out in the hope of his touch. A hand runs down my leg before trailing along my hip. He follows the hand with his mouth, kissing his way to my belly button before licking a path back to my neck.
Suddenly, he stops and groans. He breathes heavily against my shoulder. “I don’t have protection.”
I hate to admit that I once again forgot about condoms. That’s not like me. My mind is not focused on responsible lovemaking when I’m with him. Of course, he does, though. He’s the most responsible person I know.
“Guest drawer,” I say.
“What?”
He lets me up so I can roll to look inside the nightstand. The drawer is filled with travel-size toiletry bottles, toothbrushes, and a box of condoms. I give a small laugh as I produce a condom for him to put on. As if by mutual agreement, we don’t comment on it.
I return to his arms, maneuvering my legs around him. He thrusts deep, and I can’t help the moan of approval that escapes my lips. We’re a perfect fit in every physical way. Being with him is all I want. That desperation fuels my need. I want to absorb him into my skin and make him such a part of me that they can never tear us apart.
We rock our bodies in unison. I bite his lip. He licks mine.
Paul grabs my hand in his, pinning it close to my head. His eyes hold mine. We thrust faster. The tension mounts. So close, so close, so…here.
I once heard someone describe climax as a little death. I think they’re wrong. The building pleasure is all that matters, a representation of striving for what we want, needing that finish at the cost of all else. That’s life, the striving for fleeting perfection. Death is what comes after, when the trembling is finished, and we’re left with a cold reality we cannot change. Death is a locked mausoleum. Being with Paul will never compare to that.
The shattering release washes over me in waves, making my stomach tense in response. Paul’s hips jerk against me. My heart thunders in my ears. I feel the pants of his breath hitting my cheek.
He gently kisses me, moaning softly before rolling to rest next to me on the bed. My attention falls on the yellow wallpaper, instantly reminding me of where we are.
“Hey,” he cups my cheek. “Stay with me.”
My gaze darts back to his.
“Your life is not a giant angry monster,” he says.
My throat catches a little. “You heard that?”
He nods. “What you want does matter. You matter, Tamara. If we love each other, we’ll figure the rest out.”
He touches my amulet thoughtfully.
“I’m not saying we won’t have to be cautious,” he continues. “But that’s life. We protect our families, our kids, ourselves. When danger came, when it mattered, Diana was safe with you. I’m not saying we expose her to vampires or more fires, but once we figure out how to deal with your brother?—”
I kiss him. How can I not? This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. He chooses me. Paul knows the mess I am. For the first time in my life, things feel right. I feel like this is where I belong, with humans who love me.
“I love you.” The words just come out. I’ve never meant them like I do right now.
“I know,” he says. “And that’s why we’ll get through this—together.”