Merrily Mine (Best Friends Book Club)

Chapter 1 Emily

emily

The world outside my window was a perfect blanket of white, coating the Montana landscape. It was a sight I was used to, growing up outside of Bozeman. Over the years, I’d decided there was nothing quite like a white Christmas. After years of traveling, it just felt like home.

Hence why I was here instead of a resort in the Maldives. They’d offered me a complete, expenses-paid stay for a few social media posts and some videos. Why hadn’t I taken them up on that again?

Oh, right. Snow.

And maybe because I was just a little lonely.

Though part of me was regretting my decision to come home—mostly because my parents were looking at me with concern.

As if I weren’t a twenty-eight-year-old responsible adult, thank you very much.

Like I couldn’t take care of myself in their giant, eight thousand square foot house for the next two weeks.

Because yes, I was spending Christmas completely alone.

“Your brothers aren’t sure they’re going to make it here for Christmas this year. With the babies and all.” My mom gave me a sad smile as she tucked her passport into her bag.

It felt like I knew what she was thinking. Poor little Emily—all alone for Christmas. Poor little Emily, the only sibling who hadn’t found her person yet.

I loved my mom. And I knew she loved me. But sometimes, it was almost insufferable seeing the pity in her eyes. For her only daughter, who was close to thirty and had never even had a serious relationship in her life.

“Oh.” My smile dropped. “Right. Of course.” I hadn’t been counting on it, but a pang of longing rippled through me, knowing my brothers were both happily married, with families of their own now.

I enjoyed being an aunt—loved visiting Portland and spoiling my niece and nephews rotten—but the ache in my heart was always there.

Wanting more. Wanting something for myself.

Was that even possible now? What was the likelihood that I’d actually meet the one?

The older I got, the less it felt like a possibility.

It wasn’t like I could just write a letter and leave it under the tree. Santa, all I want for Christmas is a cowboy.

I shook the thought away. Nope. I had to be content with my life; otherwise, I’d never make it through the day. I’d be too caught up with pining and loneliness to even function. Sometimes, it was almost crippling.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself, Em?” my mother asked again, that concerned expression still on her face. “I can call—”

“No, I’ll be fine, Mom,” I said, hiding my emotions by tugging down the hem of my green slouchy sweater. “Besides, I’m a big girl.” Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I continued on. “It’s not like I haven’t traveled all over by myself. Don’t worry about me—I can handle two weeks alone.”

Clearly, they didn’t seem to trust that I’d be alright, which was more upsetting than anything else. Sure, it was the first holiday I’d be spending by myself, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t handle it.

Normally, we’d all come home to Montana to spend the holidays together.

Things had changed over the last few years, especially with both of my older brothers living in Oregon and me jet-setting around the world.

I hadn’t gone to college, but I had built up an incredibly successful social media platform.

Being an influencer had perks, like having the closet of my childhood bedroom full of items brands had sent me, and traveling on someone else’s dime.

Even if it was a never-ending stream of fake smiles and staged photos on my perfectly curated feed.

Honestly, I was tired. That was the main reason I was home. Technically, I didn’t have anywhere else to be. I didn’t have an apartment of my own—I’d spent the last two months on a road trip across the country.

And since my parents had booked a two-week vacation to the Bahamas, I was the only Sullivan with no plans this year.

My dad ran his hands through his gray hair, wandering around the kitchen with a mug of coffee in his hand as my mom scurried about, finishing packing.

When had they gotten so old? Both of my parents were retired surgeons, and had been workaholics my whole life.

It was strange to see them as doting grandparents who happily embraced life, all things they never had time to do when we were younger.

It was hard to be resentful—I knew how much they loved us and worked hard to give us a good life.

“I always worry about you, hun. You’re my baby.

” My mom came to stand in front of me, tugging on a strand of my hair.

I looked like a combination of my brothers—same nose and chin as Benjamin, but with lighter brown hair and Hunter’s green eyes.

Did she see her two successful sons every time she looked at me?

Did she wish I were more like them? “Especially when you’re out seeing the world. ”

Wrapping my arms around her, I hugged my mom tight. “I know you do. I love you.”

“Love you too, Emily.” She squeezed me tighter. “I asked the neighbor’s son to check in on you in case you need anything.”

“Mom,” I groaned. I didn’t need babysitting. “Really? I’m almost twenty nine-years old.” Which was basically almost thirty. I was really trying not to think about that.

She batted her eyes. What was my mother up to? I frowned at the thought. “Wait.” The only neighbor near us who had a son was… “The neighbor’s son? Mason? I thought he was living in Washington somewhere.”

Not somewhere—Seattle. Happily married with his college sweetheart. It wasn’t like I’d been keeping tabs on him specifically. His mom just loved to stop me whenever I was home and talk my ear off about her precious baby boy.

Okay, it was cute. Even if he was thirty-six.

“He moved back after the divorce,” Mom said. “I’m surprised you didn’t know.”

Divorce? I blinked. “I wasn’t gone that long, was I?” Did I somehow wake up in an alternate dimension? And why was my heart racing just from hearing the news?

She patted me on the shoulder. “Well, if you need anything, I’m sure he’d be happy to help.”

An offer I wouldn’t think about too much.

“Thanks, Mom.” I looked down at my watch.

“What time do you need to leave for the airport?” I’d offered to take them, but they’d turned me down, citing icy roads.

I hated driving when it iced over. There was a lot of snow in the weather forecast this week, and I planned to spend most of it curled up inside, watching old Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate.

Was it too early to spike it? I contemplated the thought. It was five o’clock somewhere, right?

My dad placed his mug in the sink, now empty, and came over to stand in front of us. “Our car is coming in ten minutes.” He wrapped his arm around my mom’s waist. “Assuming your mom is ready to go.” Dad winked at me.

Mom rolled her eyes at him, patting him on the chest. “Of course I am, honey. Suitcases are packed and by the door.”

He pressed a kiss on her cheek. “Then let our daughter be. She’ll be just fine, sweetheart.”

She sighed, taking a step towards the door before turning back to me. “The fridge is fully stocked, and I gave the housekeeper two weeks off, but if you need her—”

“Mom.” This time, I laughed. “I can clean up after myself. It’s fine. Stop panicking.”

“You should have seen her in the OR,” my dad grumbled. God, I could only imagine how amazing it would be to see her in the operating room, taking charge.

Not that I’d want to see anyone’s insides—I was firmly not a fan of blood or other bodily fluids. There was a reason my older brother was the doctor of the three of us and not me.

I smirked. “Alright, you two. Go on your tropical vacation and have an amazing time. Soak up some sun for me.” I wouldn’t get any here.

Not when the ground was already covered in a few inches of snow, and the Montana winter wouldn’t be kind to me.

Sure, I’d lived here my entire life, but in the last few years, I’d become somewhat of a wimp.

I blamed all the time I spent in warmer climates.

I wasn’t above shoving my feet in a second pair of wool socks to keep them warm.

“Have a pineapple drink for me,” I said, all but pushing them out the door. “I’ll be fine, I promise!”

After my parents were finally gone—one last hug and reassurance later—the house was empty.

Yeah, I was ready for my two weeks of silence. My content was scheduled and all of my brand contracts were fulfilled, meaning all I had to do for the next two weeks was… nothing.

God, that sounded nice. Scratch what I said before—I was seriously glad I’d agreed to come home for Christmas.

My Kindle was loaded full of books, including the new one that my brother Benjamin’s wife, Angelina, had illustrated the cover for.

Both she and my other sister-in-law, Gabbi, were best friends with the author, Noelle Harper.

I’d gotten to know her pretty well myself over the last six years since she’d been a bridesmaid at both of my brother’s weddings.

Which was how I’d become obsessed with her writing.

I definitely was looking forward to getting lost in the new love story she’d written.

Her heroes were always swoon-worthy, and that was more than I could say for the guys in my life.

Was it so much to ask that I found a man like that?

At least I’d have my books to keep me company.

Sitting on the couch, I looked at the space where a tree normally sat.

They hadn’t put one up this year since they’d be gone, and I had to admit, the space felt a little lonely without the warm lights and presents underneath the tree.

Not that I needed one just for me. It felt frivolous, especially when I’d already shot all my Christmas content earlier this week.