Chapter 11 Emily #2
“It was great for a long time. We met freshman year, and we hit it off right away. Then we started datin’, and by the time we graduated, well…
the next logical step was getting engaged.
We’d already lived together for a year by then, anyway.
So I bought a ring.” He swallowed roughly.
Somehow, I understood he needed to get this off his chest. That he needed to say this.
So I stayed silent. “Don’t get me wrong.
I always wanted to get married.” He chuckled.
“I loved the idea of being a husband. And maybe I loved it more than I loved her.” He winced.
“Things didn’t get bad for a while. We’d always talked loosely about havin’ kids, ever since we were young, and I thought that’s what we were workin’ towards.
But she always insisted it wasn’t the right time.
She had to work too much. Or she’d just gotten a promotion.
Or we needed a bigger house. But over time, I realized those were all excuses. ”
“Mason…” My heart broke for him.
“And maybe we were never right for each other, not really. Maybe we just wanted different things. We’d just spent so long together that I’d gotten used to it.
Still, I tried my hardest to make it work.
Our daily rituals became distant memories until I was spendin’ most of my time alone and wonderin’ how I’d gotten there.
Nothing was what I’d hoped for. I’d left the ranch behind ‘cause she wanted to live in the city. I was wearing a suit every day, and nothing I was doing felt like me. And then, my wife didn’t even want to spend time with me.
Suddenly I didn’t know who I was anymore.
But that wasn’t even the deal-breaker. I…
” His voice was unsteady when he spoke again.
I spun in his lap, placing my hand over his heart.
Like I could sense that he needed the support.
“I wanted a family.” Mason shook his head, his eyes haunted.
Like he was hurting. “I kept asking, pushing for it. My ex-wife… she’d always known that.
I’d never hidden that I wanted kids. Things weren’t good, but I thought maybe we could still work through it.
We’d been fightin’ so much, but…” He choked up.
“The night of Hunter’s wedding was the end for me.
One of Gabbi’s bridesmaids had a six-month-old. ”
I nodded, a smile touching my face. “Abigail.” One of her best friends—Charlotte—and her husband had a baby a year ago. She’d been adorable, wearing a fluffy little yellow dress, sitting on Daniel’s lap during the ceremony.
“Adorable kid,” Mason said. “I brought it up to her, then, seeing how happy the three of them looked. A sweet little family. Told her that maybe it was time, and we should have one of our own. We weren’t getting any younger, after all.
We’d been married for a decade. But suddenly, I didn’t recognize her at all.
She said she didn’t want a family, Em.” He looked down at his lap, sliding his hands down till they rested on my hips.
“That she didn’t want kids at all. She’d changed her mind.
I was devastated. The woman I’d married was gone, and in her place was a stranger. ”
“She never told you before?” My question was hardly more than a whisper.
“No. But maybe…” he sucked in a breath. “Maybe I just wasn’t enough.” His eyes were glassy, and fuck, my heart broke for him.
“You’re enough, Mason. Of course you are.”
“I don’t blame her for changing her mind.
I just can’t help but feel like I wasted so much time, you know?
That was what hurt the most. She never told me she didn’t want to start a family together until the end.
” Mason looked down at his lap. “Turns out she was spending a lot of time at work with one of her coworkers with all her long hours in the office. I didn’t think anything of it. Of course I didn’t. And now…
“And now they’re getting married, next year,” he finished, leaning his head back against the headboard. “We parted on good terms. I don’t hate her, Emily. Of course I don’t. It’s just…”
“She should never have let you go,” I whispered, running my fingers through his hair. “I know I wouldn’t have.”
He shut his eyes, tears trailing down his cheeks, and I kissed them off, taking my time as he clung to my body, holding me tight.
I sensed he needed this hug more than anything. Had he ever mourned the end of his marriage? Had he ever cried? I got the sense that he hadn’t. That he’d been bottling it up inside of him all this time.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “You deserve everything, Mason. The life you dream of.”
His damp blue eyes met mine, and he kissed me softly.
I couldn’t read the emotion on his face. I wasn’t sure I was ready to.
He slid back inside me, making me gasp as his cock filled me, burying to the hilt, and once more, we lost ourselves in each other’s bodies, clinging to each other with everything we had.
Mason closed his eyes, sinking into the warm water.
It had taken us a lot longer to leave my bed than I’d planned, but we got the hot tub on and as soon as it was hot, we’d sunk inside, the water seeming to melt away all our problems.
Thankfully, my parents’ property was extensive enough that I didn’t have to worry about someone seeing us, or any sort of propriety. We’d wrapped ourselves up in fluffy white bathrobes for the walk outside, but neither of us had bothered to find a swimsuit before slipping into the water.
I let out a happy moan as it soothed my muscles, my body relaxing almost immediately.
We didn’t talk about what had just happened. About everything he’d told me, or how I’d held him as he cried, or how we’d made love again as he held me to his body.
Maybe we didn’t need to. Maybe some things were better left unsaid.
The world was still. Pine trees were dusted with snow, everything covered in a thick coat of white, like even the universe needed to take a breath.
Maybe we needed this too.
Maybe we needed each other.
I climbed onto his lap, winding my fingers into his hair. “Hi,” I murmured, scratching my fingernails through his scalp.
He let out a moan, eyes fluttering shut. “That feels so fucking good, Em.”
“Good.” My words were barely a whisper. “Are you feeling better?”
His blue eyes blinked open, holding mine. “Yes. Thank you. I’m sorr—”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I told Mason, cutting him off. “Not for having feelings. And definitely not for the way she broke your heart.” I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart, feeling it pounding under my touch. “Okay?”
He nodded. “Okay.” He looked like he’d just had a realization—like something important had flickered through his face, even for only a moment.
Scooting further onto his lap, I let my hardened nipples press against his chest. “Okay,” I repeated.
Mason brought his hands up to my thighs, rubbing up and down as I rested my forehead against his, just soaking up his presence. Neither of us moved for a long time, except for our hands as they rubbed and soothed. Like somehow, this was healing every wound, every broken piece inside of us.
As if we were getting ready for something entirely new to begin.