Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
OLIVIA
“Merry Christmas, you two!” Rachel Parker greets me and Brian at her front door on Christmas Eve with a wide grin.
Ben and Julie’s mom is adorned for the holiday in a bright red dress with tiny Christmas trees dangling from her ears.
The foyer is decked out with a low table sporting a Christmas train set and a kid-sized Christmas tree covered in child-friendly ornaments.
The house is warm and bright and smells like apples and cinnamon, and the entire atmosphere gives cozy, come on in and stay for a while vibes.
Not that I would expect anything different from Rachel.
Ben and Julie may be her only biological children in the bunch, but she and her husband, Steven, have kind of become everyone’s default parents over the years, and they’re grandparents to everyone’s kids.
When Jeremy found out he had a brother, Brian was swept up into the Parker fold immediately.
And as soon as Gabe came back to Pittsburgh to re-connect with Molly, Rachel claimed him as their own.
He was Molly’s, so he was theirs. And when I moved back to Pittsburgh, because I belonged to Gabe, I belonged to the Parkers also. That’s the way Rachel works.
In this group, family isn’t what you’re born into. Family is what’s inside. Family is made. And there is no better family than this one.
“Thanks for having us, Rachel,” I say, letting myself be swept up into her comforting arms. When I first moved here, her hug was the first mom hug I’d had since my own mom died, and somehow, Rachel knew.
Rachel always knows.
It’s her superpower.
She kisses me on my cheek and then wraps Brian in a hug.
“You can both thank me by telling me literally everything. How did this happen? How long has it been going on? What did Gabe’s face look like when he found out?
I’m so mad I was out of town for the gala last weekend.
I would have paid actual money to see that. ”
I laugh, slipping my arm through Brian’s. “Apparently, he’s been obsessed with me forever. I got snowbound at the loft a few weeks ago. The rest is history.”
Rachel gives Brian a sly smile. “Finally got around to making your move, huh? You held out longer than I thought you would.”
“You knew?” Brian laughs.
“Oh, honey, of course I knew. There is not one single thing that goes on with one of my children that I don’t know about. Also, not for nothing, but you haven’t been able to take your eyes off of her for, like, three years. You weren’t subtle.”
I look up at Brian and see his face turning a little red, and it’s so fucking cute I could die. “Subtlety is for losers,” I say, leaning my cheek against his shoulder.
He bends and kisses my head, and I can feel his smile. “Couldn’t help it. When you’re in a room, you’re all I can see. It’s always been that way. Always will be.”
“Gah, listen to that peak swoon!” I turn just as Molly and Gabe walk up behind us. Ellie is fast asleep on Gabe’s shoulder, but Sophie is bouncing on her toes with excitement.
“Livvy!” she squeals, throwing her tiny arms around my knees. I lean down and swing her up, planting a kiss on her cheek. “Uncle Bry! It’s Christmas!” she exclaims, her blue eyes wide and sparkling with fun, brown curls bouncing around her head.
“Sure is, Sophie Girl,” Brian says, grinning and leaning over to kiss her cheek. “What did you ask Santa for?”
“Makeup,” she whispers. “I loooooove eyeshadow.”
“Who doesn’t?” Molly laughs, running a hand over her daughter’s hair and leaning in to hug Rachel.
“Soph, Grandpa’s in the kitchen baking cookies,” Rachel says with a grin.
“Chocolate chip?” she asks, eyes wide with excitement.
“Why don’t you go see?”
“Yes!” she yells. “Livvy, put me down!”
The second I do, she makes a beeline for the kitchen, disappearing around the corner with Rachel following close behind.
I turn, hugging Molly and Gabe. “Merry Christmas,” I say against Gabe’s shoulder the second I’m wrapped in the arm not holding his daughter.
It hits me, not for the first time today, that in a week I’ll be on a plane to Italy.
That I’m about to spend six months an ocean away from him and Molly.
My family.
Brian.
Nerves suddenly swarm my stomach.
“Merry Christmas, Liv.” His voice is a comforting rumble in my ear, and I take a deep breath, reaching back for Brian’s hand. He tangles his fingers with mine, and I shove the nerves away because it’s Christmas and I can worry about Italy eight days from now. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
I laugh, leaning back to look at him. “I’ve been here for two years.”
He shrugs, shifting Ellie to his other arm. “Doesn’t mean I’m not still glad you decided to move here. To be close. I’m just glad you’re here. Both of you,” he says, looking from me to Brian with a smile.
“Me too,” Brian says, squeezing my hand. “This is the only place I want to be.”
Surrounded by my family, with him at my back and the sounds of Christmas stirring inside the house, it’s the only place I want to be, too.
“But all my friends have phones,” Maddy says, giving Jeremy a very dramatic eyeroll.
I laugh at Jeremy’s nonchalant shrug. “Little Red, when have you ever known me to be someone who cares about what everyone else is doing?”
Maddy puts her hands on her hips and gives Jeremy a calculating stare.
“You might not care about everyone else, but you do care about me. Which means you should care that I’m going to be a total social outcast when I go back to school in January and it turns out I’m the only one who didn’t get a phone for Christmas. ”
Jeremy just smiles. “Being a social outcast builds character. You’re twelve, Mads. Twelve-year-olds don’t need phones. Talk to me in a year. Maybe two.”
“Arghhh, you don’t know anything!” she yells, turning and flouncing out of the room.
Jeremy chuckles, glancing over at Brian and me. “She’ll need to sulk for a while. I’ll be right back. Going to go help Ems get the little kids down. The ones who still want things like books and toys for Christmas.”
When he heads upstairs, Brian stretches his arm across the back of the couch, his fingers brushing over my neck. A shiver runs down my spine. I love his hands on me. Anytime. In any way. “Ten bucks says he caves on the phone by Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs.
After the Parkers, Brian and I went to Gabe and Molly’s for an hour to read Christmas bedtime stories to Sophie and Ellie and then drove over here to hang with Jeremy and Emma and their family.
It’s already such a cozy Christmas, and I will time to slow down so I can hang onto all these moments just a little while longer.
I lay my head back so it’s resting on his arm and roll to face him with a laugh.
“I don’t think he’ll even make it to New Year’s. ”
Brian wraps his arm around my shoulders, tugging me closer to him and bending to kiss me.
The feel of his lips on mine has tingles spreading over my entire body, and I press closer to him, sinking into the kiss.
“You taste like peppermint,” he says quietly, rubbing his lips over mine and then pressing a kiss to one cheek and then the other. “I love it.”
I smile against his lips, the word love making my stomach explode in butterflies.
Even though he doesn’t mean it that way, I can’t help but think of a day when he might.
“I was eating mini-candy canes with Cait and Jack,” I say, referring to Hallie and Ben’s four-year-old twins.
“They thought it was funny to see how many they could eat without their parents noticing and, well, I thought that was worthwhile behavior to encourage.”
Brian chuckles, kissing the side of my head. “Hey, you’re talking to the guy who hoards candy in a kitchen drawer and doles it out to all the kids like their dealer. No arguments here.”
Shifting on the couch, I sit sideways, tossing my legs over his. “You’re good with them. The kids, I mean.”
He lays a hand over my leg, fingers sliding under the hem of my jeans to stroke over my ankle.
“I love them. All of them. I never really thought much about kids and a big family, but then I found Jeremy, and he gave me all of his friends, and I get to be an uncle, and I couldn’t imagine my life without this.
” Brian smiles at me, his face going soft, and I hear the words he doesn’t say.
Without you.
With the overhead lights dimmed, the twinkle lights from the Christmas tree play over the hollows of his handsome face, and the way he looks at me has my breath clogging my lungs.
He looks at me like I’m all he sees, and even though we’re sitting in Emma and Jeremy’s living room with the sounds of Maddy stomping her feet and Emma and Jeremy putting their little kids to bed overhead, he’s all I see too.
I think he’s all I’ll ever see.
All I’ll ever want.
And suddenly, the idea of six months away makes my stomach clench and my eyes burn.
“I’m going to miss you,” I say quietly, reaching over and curling my fingers around his. “It feels like we just started, and now I’m about to go away, and I hate it.”
“Liv,” he whispers, laying his free hand on my cheek. “I’ll miss you too. God, I’ll miss you so fucking much. But you’re not leaving today. Today, we’re right here, together, and it’s Christmas. Be here with me now, baby. We’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.”
He looks at me for a beat before lifting my legs off of his and standing up, offering me a hand. “Come with me.”
I tilt my head and study him. “Where are we going? Jeremy said something about Christmas cocktails and Christmas Eve game night.”
Reaching down, Brian takes my hand and pulls me up off the couch. “We can do drinks and game night any time. Right now, I want to be alone with my girl. I have something for you.”
“And by your girl, do you mean me?” I ask, winding my arms around his neck.
“Bet your gorgeous ass,” he says, leaning in and kissing my neck. “My best girl.” My cheeks. “My only girl.” My forehead. “Mine.”
I close my eyes, breathing him in, memorizing his scent, the feel of him. “I like being yours.” Opening my eyes, I look up at him and smile. “I think being yours is my favorite thing.”
Leaning in, he kisses me slowly, thoroughly, like there aren’t five other people in the house who could come flying down the stairs at any time. He kisses me like he’ll never get another chance, like this moment is all we have, and he’s desperate to hold onto it.
And so am I.
“Everything about you is my favorite thing,” he says quietly, his eyes boring into mine.
“Come home with me, Liv. Spend the night with me and wake up with me on Christmas morning. Let me give you your present and spread you out over my bed and worship every inch of you until all you remember is the way we feel together.”
A shiver rolls down my spine, and I have to lock my knees to keep my legs from shaking. “I want that. All of it.”
Brian bends and kisses me again, wrapping an arm around my waist and tangling his free hand in my hair. Then he pulls back and takes my hand with a smile and a wink.
“Come on, Liv. Let’s go home.”