Chapter 11
HOLLY
“There is absolutely no way I am watching a Christmas movie tonight.” I cross my arms in front of me.
Felix sets the bag he was carrying on my coffee table. Turning to me, he runs his hands down my arms, gently prying them apart to take my hands in his.
He has that look in his eyes, the one that makes my knees weak and lowers my guard. “I thought you said you’d trust me.”
“Well, now I’m regretting even opening the door for you,” I grumble, but there’s little truth to that.
Even though I’m going to do everything in my power to not watch a Christmas movie, I do want him here.
I like having him around. I just like…him. More than I want to. On a deeper level than I thought I would.
The closer we get to the end of the holidays, the better…but it also means saying goodbye to him. We agreed to a fling, so that’s all it is.
All it can be.
“Regret not—I brought hot chocolate.” He pulls out a container, setting it down proudly. “And…Christmas sweaters.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Yes.” He nods, grinning from ear to ear as he holds one up to me. “Put it on, you’ll look so good.”
Oh, I know I’ll look good in it, but I don’t want to be in it. Grudgingly, I grab it between my fingertips, holding it away from me as if it’s diseased.
I might catch a case of holiday cheer if I’m not careful.
Shifting my attention away from the horrid thing in my hands, I stare at him. “It’s either the sweater or a movie—your choice.”
“What are the odds of convincing you of both?” He holds my chin steady with two of his fingers, planting a quick kiss on my lips.
When he pulls back, I give him the most deadpan expression possible. “Choose.”
With a small smile, he takes a few steps back to the bag. What is he doing? He hasn’t answered yet.
He reaches in, pulling out another sweater. This one though is a simple gray, no pattern at all.
“I was prepared for this. How do you feel about a knit sweater with no pattern?” He makes his way back to me.
Taking a deep breath, I let my shoulders fall. “Fine. I’ll wear that sweater, and we can watch one Christmas movie.”
The smile I earn is enough to make any ice inside of me melt. What kind of power does this man possess over me? And how did he get it?
He kisses my cheek, exchanging the sweater in my hands. “While you change, I’ll make the hot chocolate.”
As he disappears to my kitchen, I stare at the sweater in my hands. He knows me so well already, and it’s only been, what, a few weeks? If that.
The last time someone knew me well…
I don’t want to even think about.
Shaking my head, I slip off my blouse and toss it onto an armchair. The new sweater is incredibly soft against my skin as I pull it on—he did well with this one.
Hell, he’s just done well in general.
For his age, he’s really surprising me with the level of commitment and effort he’s put in. All for a fling…
Maybe he really was serious about wanting more than a fling.
“It’s perfect, in my opinion.” Felix’s voice snaps me from my thoughts.
He waltzes into the room, two mugs in hand. They’re topped with whipped cream, so high that all it’ll take is one wrong move for it to be on the floor.
As I take a cup in my hand, I give him a small smile. “Thank you…and this sweater is lovely.”
“Anything for you.” He smiles softly before plopping down onto the couch carefully. “Now, it’s movie time!”
All day my mind has been clouded, keeping me from focusing on my work. Realizations of just how much I enjoyed last night swirl inside my brain.
Followed closely by waves of denial that just aren’t big enough to wash the realizations away.
Damn it, maybe the holidays aren’t bad. Maybe I’ve been too hard on everyone around me for simply enjoying them.
I need to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.
Pressing a button on my desk phone, I buzz Joy. “J, can you come here for a moment?”
There’s no response, but I hear frantic footsteps on the other side of the door. When it flies open, Joy’s eyes are wide, hands clutched by her chest.
As she approaches my desk, she hesitantly asks, “Did I forget to do something, boss?”
“No.” I shake my head; Joy never forgets to do anything, so why would she think that was it? Because I’m demanding and generally unfriendly, that’s why.
Her wings flutter faintly. “What is it then, boss?”
“I decided,” I simply state, my tongue feeling like it’s going numb in my mouth.
Her shoulders tense up. “Decided…about our holidays?”
I nod, thinning my lips. There’s no actual decision in my mind, but I know what I should do. Whatever words leave my lips, well, that’ll be it.
“Everyone can be off Christmas Eve,” I say, and her shoulders slump with defeat. “And won’t return until January second.”
Her eyes light up like fireworks, and she straightens instantly. “Really?”
I cross my arms in front of me, and my eyebrows furrow. “Yes. Paid, of course.”
“Are you—wow. Thank you, boss, really. Everyone will be thrilled,” she squeals, clasping her hands together.
She literally jumps with joy, but it’s very graceful as her wings keep her steady. If anyone can compete with Felix on having the most Christmas cheer, it’s her.
Nodding, I lift a hand, giving her a motion to leave the room. She nods, still grinning from ear to ear.
Just as her hand grasps the doorknob, she pauses. “If I may ask, boss…what changed your mind?”
“Nothing in particular.”
The words are a lie, though. I wonder if she can tell.
Something did change my mind.
Someone.
Felix has made me see a light in the darkness, a joy in the holiday I forgot was there. It feels harder and harder to cling to my hatred as each day passes.
It’s a loss of control, and I hate it.
Yet, it somehow feels…right.