Chapter 40 – Three Days Later
ELSIE
THREE DAYS LATER
I should be happy being back with my parents. In my childhood home. In my room. Yet any sense of joy vanished the moment he left me.
He called my father and apparently explained that we had a break-in and he doesn’t feel I’m safe there. That it’s better if I live with them.
That’s what my father said, at least. But all I know is, he didn’t want me. He didn’t want to fight for us. He chose fear. He chose the easy way out.
While I was willing to risk it all for him. My life. My safety. My fucking heart. But he threw it all away.
Being without him in these past couple of days has felt like a lifetime. My heart is literally breaking, pieces of it fluttering away like ashes from a fiery blaze. Never to be found again.
I close my eyes and picture his rugged smile, missing it so much.
I miss those big hands cupping my face, those knuckles stroking down my cheek.
But most of all, I miss the way I felt when we were simply in each other’s presence.
That shivery feeling in my stomach, that inexplainable need to be where he was.
This man—this dangerous, crazy man—has stolen all my reasons for never trusting a man again and showed me that he’s more.
That even little girls who’ve grown into broken women can once again dream the kinds of dreams they once had.
Ones of love. A life filled with tomorrows.
And I thought those tomorrows would be with him.
Sitting in my room like I do every day and every night, I stare out the window, watching the cars whizz by, wishing I’d see his, that he’d stop being stubborn and come back for me.
But he hasn’t. He hasn’t even called.
I’ve picked up the phone he gave me a dozen times. Waiting. Hoping. But I won’t beg him to take me back. He’s going to have to want it himself.
With a soft knock, my door opens, and Mom comes inside. They both took off work to be with me. And I need them more than I’ve let them know.
“Hi, sweetie…” Mom’s eyes glisten with emotion as her lips form a thin line. “Daddy made your favorite chocolate chip waffles. Would you like some?”
She continues to assess me from the doorway, and I force a smile. But instantly, it feels like a betrayal to my own misery. I return to staring out the window.
“Maybe later. Thanks, Mom.”
The idea of eating right now—even something I once loved, something I’ve missed with my whole heart—doesn’t appeal to me. It’s as though everything inside me is bland and colorless.
“You have to eat, Elsie. I know you’re upset and you love him, but you have to eat.”
Love? Is that what this is?
Does it even matter? Why do feelings need a title? All I know, all I ache with, is this knowledge that I miss him with everything I am.
I miss Sophia too. God, do I miss her. I miss the family we could’ve been. Isn’t that enough?
“I’m sorry, Mom.” I swivel my gaze to hers, hunching over. “I’m sorry that you got me back and I’m this way. Broken.” I shrug my shoulders. “You guys deserve more than that.”
An ache throbs in the back of my throat.
“No!” She shakes her head, her brows knitting, her feet moving quickly. She places the plate full of waffles on the bed and takes my hand in hers. “You’re not broken. You’re my daughter. My beautiful, talented, smart daughter, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
I sniffle back the tears forming in my eyes, and when I stand, my arms are around her as I cry, laying my cheek on her chest, just like I did when I was little.
“He’ll come around.” She shushes me, her palm running up and down my back.
“I don’t think he will, Mom.” I draw back. “He’s stubborn.”
“That’s men.” She lets out a small laugh.
“Give him time and you’ll see. I bet he’s hurting just like you are.
I bet he wants you back. I know your marriage wasn’t for love, sweetheart, not at first. But sometimes we fall anyway, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
” She pushes off, swiping her thumbs under my eyes.
“And that man is head over heels in love with you. It was easy to see it in his eyes.”
I remain unconvinced. He was certain breaking things off was the right thing to do. There’s no way he’ll ever change his mind.
After I ate a little, I returned to staring out the window. It seems that’s all I can manage.
A car zooms past, and it almost looks like Michael’s blue SUV.
I huff out a breath, reaching for my cell, and it suddenly rings. My pulse jumps in my throat and I immediately look at the screen and see Michael’s name.
Oh my God! Maybe Mom was right. He realized what a damn stubborn mule he was and now he’s calling to beg for my forgiveness. I can’t wait to give him hell.
I steady the panic set deep in my stomach, trying to control my labored breaths before my trembling finger hits the button.
“H-hello?”
“Elsie!” Sophia’s voice vibrates through the line. “When are you coming back?”
I can hear the shudder in her voice, like she’s trying hard not to cry.
“Hi, sweetie. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too,” she whimpers. “Please come back. Daddy misses you too.” Her panting grows heavier. “He gets so sad when I ask about you, but he said you had to go live with your parents for a while. But I want you to come back. Pleaaase!”
Tears sting my eyes, and I blink rapidly to push them away. Hearing her cry, it’s destroying me.
“I wish I could. But right now, I have to stay here for a little while.”
“D-did I do something? Do you not love me anymore?”
I fasten a hand over my mouth to stop the sobbing wrenching in my soul. I want to get on a damn plane and rush right over there and take that little girl in my arms.
“Of course I love you, Sophia. I will never stop loving you.”
“Then why?” she cries uncontrollably. “Why can’t you be with Daddy and me? Did he hurt your feelings?”
“No.” I sigh. “He’s a good man. You’re a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful daddy.”
Even though he’s an idiot who doesn’t realize what he’s missing.
“This is not fair!” she shouts with a snivel. “You promised! You promised to be my mommy. Mommies don’t leave their kids. Not good ones, anyway.”
Fresh tears crash down my face, my chest tightening, those words stabbing me right in the heart.
“Sophia?” Michael bellows, and I gasp, my heartbeats quickening in my chest. “Did you take my phone? Who are you calling?”
“I called Elsie! Because you won’t make her come back and…”
She shrieks, and big fat tears roll down my cheeks.
“I thought if I called…” she weeps. “That she’d want me and she’d come back.”
“Oh, baby.”
I can just see him holding her in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Elsie,” he whispers into the phone.
All the air stills in my lungs, my body breaking out in hives.
“She shouldn’t have done that.”
“Michael…” I whisper. That’s all I can manage.
I miss you. I miss her. I miss us.
Those words, they never make it out.
I can hear the swell of his heavy breathing, and for a moment, it sounds like he’s about to say something else. But instead, the line goes dead, and my heart dies along with it.
Moments later, Mom’s at my door once more, her cell phone in hand. “Hey, sweetie, Kayla and Jade are on the phone again. Can you maybe talk to them this time? Maybe for a few minutes? They’re really worried.”
I nod, and she purses her lips, bringing the phone over to me. Once she walks back out, I place the receiver against my ear.
“H-hello?” I cry.
“Oh, Elsie,” Kayla sniffles. “You really went and fell for a Mafia dude, didn’t you?”
I burst into a pathetic, blubbering laugh.
“Yeah, I really did. But he doesn’t want me anymore…” I silently cry.
“Hey,” Jade says. “You don’t have to be sad alone. We’re here now. Okay? You can cry, scream…we can even make mean songs about him. I’ll play the piano while you sing.”
“And what will I do?” Kayla asks with amusement.
“You write all the lyrics,” I say. “And make sure they’re really awful.”
MICHAEL
I can’t believe Sophia stole my phone and managed to call Elsie. Not that I’m surprised. She’s been pretty devastated since Elsie’s been gone. And it’s difficult to explain to a child that what I did was for Elsie’s benefit.
But it doesn’t erase the emptiness that consumes me when I’m alone in bed, with thoughts of my wife and how badly both my heart and my body still want her. She was a perfect embodiment of everything I could ever ask for in a woman. And yet…I let her go.
Fucking fool. I should’ve been selfish. I should’ve listened to my heart and not my head. But my head won.
There’s not a moment since I sent her away that I don’t want to throw her over my shoulder and bring her back where she belongs. I ache everywhere without her.
But I can’t do that. I refuse to be selfish. Not with her. Nothing has changed since I let her go. This family…just knowing us is dangerous. And she deserves to be safe after everything she’s been through. There are people out there who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her just to get to me.
Raph’s been staying with me while we try to get our father to talk. But he refuses, no matter what we’ve done to him. And we’ve done everything except kill him.
“Has that son of a bitch said anything?” Mom asks with a grimace, as though hearing my thoughts.
She sips on her iced tea, while Sophia left with Raph and Gio to get ice cream. They were trying to lift her spirits, and I think Gio needed that too.
“No.” I drag a chair and settle in the kitchen. “He won’t talk.”
“It’s too bad you can’t set him on fire.” Her face turns with rage.
“Once we find her, I’ll hand you a match while Raph pours the gasoline.”
She shakes her head in disgust at the man she calls a husband.
I hate to see her this way. I know she knows he was having affairs, but knowing that one of the women was her daughter-in-law has had her distraught.
Yet having Raph back has been the only light in her world in these past few days. In Sophia’s too. All my daughter wants is him. That is, when she’s not wanting Elsie. I’m currently the last person she tolerates. She blames Elsie’s departure on me, and she wouldn’t be wrong.
“Have you spoken to Elsie?” Mom drags in a slow sip, taking a seat beside me. “Are you ready to tell her that you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life?”
Instead of answering, I give her a look that says I have no desire to talk about it.
“Son…” She places the glass onto the counter. “What are you doing?”
I drag in a long breath. “Saving her.”
“From what, exactly?”
“From me.”
She releases an exacerbated sigh. “When are you going to stop punishing yourself for the life we live?”
I prop my elbows onto my outstretched thighs, staring onto the floor. Our father still has men loyal to him. What if they come for her? What if, this time, she doesn’t make it out alive?
“It’s who we are, Michael. Who we’ve always been,” Mom goes on. “She knows that, and she still chose you. It’s time you let yourself be loved, Michael.” She places a palm on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Bring her home. Let her love you.”
The phone rings and rings until I hear a voice.
“Hello?”
“Hello, sir,” I say. “It’s Michael.”
“Michael,” he addresses me sternly. “What can I do for you?”
“I apologize for calling. But I wanted to see how Elsie was doing. How is she?”
“Are you asking about her arm or her heart?”
Fuck. Maybe this was a mistake. He’s right to be angry.
I press my eyes shut.
“Both.” My voice is that of a dying man, dying without the woman who made him live again.
“Well, her arm is doing well. The doctor you set her up with here has said it’s healing great. But…” He pauses. “But she’s not doing well. It seems my daughter went and fell in love with you. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
That response has my pulse slamming rapidly in my ears. I didn’t expect him to say any of that. I thought he’d be happy I gave him his daughter back, that she’s safe with him. Yet it doesn’t appear that way.
“Sir, I care deeply for her. I swear I do.” A breath stills in my lungs. “But I’m not right for her. I won’t lie to you and say I am. I’m not a safe choice for your daughter.”
He scoffs. “I gathered that when she got shot while on your watch. I’m not stupid, Michael. I know who you are.”
Another pause, and I’ve never been more nervous for someone to know what I actually do.
“But nevertheless, you’re still the one she loves. And a bad man wouldn’t have set aside his own needs to protect my daughter. So the next question is, what are you going to do to become the man you say you’re not?”
For the first time in my life, I’m rendered speechless.
“I can sit here and tell you my daughter could do better than you. But in the end, none of that matters if all she wants is you. She’s not a child anymore.
” His breath hitches. “I can’t make her do what I want.
She’s gone through hell. Those monsters…
they took everything from her. Who am I to take this one thing from her too?
What kind of father would do that?” His voice cracks.
“I’d give anything just to see that girl smile.
And you, Michael…you make my daughter smile. ”
Emotions punch me right in the gut.
My little dove. I miss you.
“You get on that plane, and you tell my daughter you made the biggest mistake of your goddamn life.”
Fuck. Well, my mother would definitely agree with you.
I fist a hand, pressing it in between my eyes. My heart damn near weeps to be with her again. To hear her laughter, to see her smile, to kiss her like I’ve been longing to since the moment she opened that smart mouth and made me hers.
What have I done?
A burn hits my eyes. These damn feelings I have for my wife, they all come crashing to the surface.
And my feet? They’re moving before I can even respond.
“Tell her I’m coming.” The words swell with an ache.
“You tell her when you get here. Now come get my daughter.”