Chapter 4 – Four Years Ago - Age 34 #3
“Well, this is a crappy way to tell you, but…” She inhales a long breath, holding her gaze steady to mine, and says the words I never saw coming. “I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a father.”
I’m not sure if my heart has stopped beating. This can’t be happening. Not with her, of all people. Not like this.
Fuck!
“Are you sure?” I keep my tone even but inside I’m near my breaking point.
I can’t leave her now. I can’t have a child out of wedlock. Not in our circle. I’ll be expected to marry her. My parents will demand it, and so will hers.
Fuck!
And if I do leave her, my father will use that against me too. I can already hear his cruelty in my ears. I’m stuck with her now, aren’t I?
“Of course I’m sure, darling,” she purrs like this is the best news ever. “I found out this morning and couldn’t wait to share this happy news. But now…” She wipes under her eyes, but there are no tears there. “I guess I’ll have to do this on my own.”
I grind my jaw. “You won’t have to. We’ll get married. We’ll do this right. We have to.”
God damn it. I’ll be trapped with someone I don’t love for the rest of my life. Everything I once envisioned for my future…it’s gone, just like that. I wanted something real. I wanted someone I loved with all my heart.
Her lips flap with a smile she tries to fight. “I was hoping you’d say that.” She throws her arms around me and grips tightly. “We’ll be happy. You’ll work for your family. I’ll become a nurse practitioner. We’ll make a life for our baby. Together. Without any interferences.”
I’ve been paying for her nursing degree. It’s something I wanted to do, and I have no problems paying for more schooling, but I don’t have to marry her to do that.
“What interferences?”
She backs away, pitching me with a knowing look. “Isn’t it obvious?” Her mouth bends with loathing. “My sister. She has a crush on you.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t want you around her just so she doesn’t get any stupid ideas about whose man you are.”
“She doesn’t have a crush on me.” I remove both her arms from around my neck and pace a few steps, eyeing her sharply. “She’s a seventeen-year-old kid. I would never go there.”
“Well…” She smirks. “I was nineteen when we met, and you were what? Thirty-two? She’s not much younger.”
“Bianca, I don’t cheat.” My nostrils flare. “If you think so low of me, then why the hell would you want to marry me?”
She widens a stare and laughs with a wave of her hand. “Of course I trust you. It’s her I don’t trust. She’s got her claws out for you, and I can see right through her little innocent act.”
“Let’s not discuss this any further.” Rage ripples through every one of my muscles; I hate how she’s speaking about Nicolette.
She’s not acting. She’s suffering, and Bianca is too stuck up her ass to ever take the time to care.
Even when Nicolette had issues with bullies at school and the principal called her parents to come down and pick her up, they didn’t.
They called Bianca, who called me to go deal with it. I sure fucking did.
I told that principal where to shove it when she got in trouble for defending herself.
When we got home, I told her I was proud of her.
When her parents got home, they didn’t even ask her what happened.
They didn’t care that she had a bruised cheek from the fight.
That’s what kind of life she’s had. But Bianca could stub a toe, and they’d act as though she lost a limb.
I felt that level of hurt. I knew the pain all too well.
“I guess we should announce our engagement to our families today.” She flips a hand through her hair. “Can you get a ring before we do? And make it big and flashy, will ya?”
“Fine.”
“Smile.” She presses her thumbs to the corners of my mouth and pushes them up. “You’re making me think you don’t want this.”
I don’t.
We did get married a month later. My mom has a knack for planning events quickly. With all the connections we have around the globe, that comes as no surprise.
The Messina crime family is the most connected one in New York. We are the Casa Nostra here. All the other families look up to us and the legit enterprise we have built. And with Michael leading that front, I was able to work directly with him and my youngest brother, Gio, to make it all happen.
And that baby? Bianca lost it a week after our wedding. She was sad about it for maybe a day, but then she got back to work like nothing ever happened, while I was crushed for weeks.
I was starting to want that baby. Wanted to be a dad. To love someone with everything I had. I was going to give him—or her—the world. But instead, I had nothing.
I considered divorce right before she died, even though I knew the stigma it would impose on me. I even told Michael about it. But in the end, it was death that took her.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, heading to pour myself some scotch, when my burner rings.
The only person who calls me on that phone is Michael. He never does unless it’s an emergency.
“Yeah?”
“Come to our place. Now,” he says, his voice carrying urgency. “Make sure no one knows where you’re going, not even your men.”
A muscle in my neck twitches. “What happ—”
“Just get here. And hurry.”