Chapter 21
RAPH
I can’t get her question out of my mind, the one about Bianca.
It’s still in my head the following day while I’m seated beside her on the sofa, watching TV.
Or pretending to at least. My arm tightens around her shoulders, and she looks at me and smiles, a big sort of smile that lights my heart like fireworks.
I lower my lips to her temple and keep them there, eyes closed, inhaling her fresh floral scent.
How could she think I’d want Bianca back? I’d want nothing to do with her even if she were the last pussy on this planet. I’d happily fuck my own hand for the rest of my goddamn life.
Nicolette is my future. I know that. And sure, I still have some doubts, I won’t pretend otherwise.
I worry about whether I can keep her safe, about what others will say of our relationship once they find out.
But that’s for another time. Right now, there’s no one here.
Right now, we can simply be Raph and Nicolette. And no one will judge us for it.
My burner phone rings in my pocket, and I quickly dig it out, seeing that it’s Michael.
“Hey,” I greet him. “What’s going on?”
Glass clanks in the distance, and I can just picture him pouring whiskey into it, swirling the honey-colored liquid, staring into it in concentration before he downs it all. It’s what he does when he’s got something on his mind, and I’m not yet sure if he brings good news or bad.
“What’s wrong?” I continue, growing impatient.
If my father has done something else, this is it. I’m coming for him. He needs to be put down.
“Nothing,” he finally says. “Or a lot of things.” His sigh stretches through the line and my pulse kicks up. “I’m married now. I’m the new head of the family.”
Shit. Relief washes over me and I sit up straighter. Nicolette registers my intensity and stares curiously.
“Congratulations. I’m happy for you. Truly, brother.”
I hope Michael finally found someone who can make him happy, because it’s what he deserves.
Though he’s never allowed himself to believe that he does.
He was so concentrated on finding the right mother for his little girl that he failed to see the importance of finding the right wife for himself. I hope this woman is what he needs.
I glance over at Nicolette, my woman, and my heart strains in my chest. I want that for him too. I want him to feel what love can do to a man. And I start to wonder if she and I will ever have that. Marriage, a bunch of kids running around. I want that, I realize. With her.
I give her a smirk, tethering my gaze into her soulful one, and she returns it—a grin so wide it makes me want to forget all of our problems and sink into the love we share in silence.
I haven’t told her I love her. I want to. But it’s not the right time. Nor the right place. I want the first time I tell her to mean something. I want her to believe it. I want her not to doubt it for a second. I want the whole damn world to know. So I won’t do it when we’re both hiding out.
“I have more news,” Michael cuts through my thoughts. “I’ve ironed out a plan with the Irish.”
He pauses, and anticipation crawls up my back with a deadly hand.
“You will be spared,” he says, and for the second time, relief hits me hard.
“How?” I wonder.
Patrick isn’t an easy man to please. He must’ve offered him something the Quinns really wanted.
“I told him he can have our father’s head instead. That it was his fault you went to that extreme. You know how Patrick lost his wife in war. He has a soft spot for that, so I used it to my advantage.”
“That’s all he wanted?”
Thick silence greets us.
“No.” He finally confirms my suspicion.
“What else does he want?”
“He wants a marriage between our families. To secure our alliance.”
“Absolutely not.” I clench my jaw. “I’m not marrying anyone.”
“Not you,” Michael explains. “Gio. He will marry Patrick’s youngest daughter, Eriu.”
“How many does he have again?”
I turn to Nicolette, finding her face practically ashen. I get how worried she is about everything. I don’t fault her for it.
“Two. Iseult is the other.”
“Right. I remember now. Have you ever seen either one of them? I swear, I don’t know anyone who’s actually met his daughters.”
“Everything’s on a need-to-know basis with him.”
“Yeah.” I nod with a sigh. “So, does Gio know about this? He won’t like it.”
“Not yet. He will soon.”
I inhale a steady breath. “He will hate you.”
“He will. But he also loves you. He’ll come around. Eventually.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Gio has never had plans to settle down with anyone.
He prefers to play the field, to pretend he doesn’t need anyone.
That he’s better on his own. But with our parents being the example of what marriage is, I understand him.
It’s easier to drown in women he’ll forget about the next day.
Easier to keep one’s heart caged, free from the hurt a woman can cause it.
Relationships are tough. Marriages are even tougher. But maybe he’ll figure it out one day.
I’d like to believe that marriage with the right person is better than a life lived in solitude.
“We’re running out of time.” Michael blows a breath. “Our father is pushing for your death, and I worry that soon he’ll send more people after you, and that this time, you two may not get that lucky.”
He’s right. We have to end this, for Nicolette’s sake.
“We’re going to take him out soon. Be ready,” he stresses.
My heart pounds. “I am.”
“I’ll be in touch. Take care of yourselves.”
“Will do.” The call ends and I stick the phone back in my pocket.
When I glance back at Nicolette, she’s fidgeting nervously, playing with the fingers tucked on her lap.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing.” She forces a smile, but I can tell it’s in fact something, something she won’t say.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” She nods a little too enthusiastically. “So, did Michael have good news?”
I let her keep her secret, refusing to push when I know it’s not what she needs.
“I think so.” I grab her hand and hold it tight, stroking my thumb over the top of it, loving the feel of her soft skin beneath mine. “We’re going to be okay. I don’t want you to worry.”
She lets out a tense laugh. “I don’t know how not to worry, Raph. It’s all I’ve been doing for the past year.”
My jaw tics, venom crawling through every sinew of my muscles. Contempt and rage meet inside my chest, vowing to avenge every hurt she’s been made to endure.
“That’ll all be over soon. I swear it.” I bring her palm to my lips, holding her gaze for long, breathless seconds, wishing to undo everything she’s gone through.
But I know I can’t. All I can do is promise to give her a fresh start. A new beginning. And for that to happen, my father has to die.
And I’ll be the one to kill him.