Chapter 36
ISEULT
My head grows dizzy as I walk out of the house. My heart physically aches.
He’s just mad, I attempt convincing myself. Once Eriu is back, he’ll get over it.
But I don’t know if that’s true. My father is even more stubborn than I am, and cheating is one thing he doesn’t easily forgive.
I try my sister’s cell as I head to Kora’s, wanting to say goodbye to her before I head back out to New York. When she doesn’t answer, I quickly leave her a voicemail, telling her to call me as soon as possible.
Where the hell would she even go? She has some friends in college, but no one she would trust like that. I don’t even have their phone numbers.
As I get closer to the Caellach building, I spot Tynan walking toward my father’s house. As soon as he sees me, he lifts a chin in greeting.
I march up to him, needing to know if he had anything to do with why my father found out. Maybe my father lied and someone said something.
“Hey,” he says, attempting to trail past me.
But I stop him with a glare. “Did you say something to our father about Gio and me?” My chest rises with quick, jerky breaths. “I know you know. Don’t deny it.”
“You should know me well by now. I’d never do that.” A concerned crease forms between his brows. “What happened?”
I back off a step, pressing my fingers into my temples.
“God, I hate this!” I grab my head from both sides and squeeze.
I can’t lose everything. I just can’t. My family, my work, it’s everything to me. But Gio has become important to me too, and I can’t deny that.
Anguish plunders into the very depth of my heart. The raw pain claws in the cavity of my chest at the realization that my father may not forgive me when everything is said and done.
“Hey.” Tynan places a gentle palm on my arm. “What did he say?”
“He confronted me about my relationship with Gio.” I sigh. “And when I didn’t deny it, he told me he suspected it. That it’s unforgivable. I don’t know…” I throw my hands in the air. “I thought maybe someone said something.”
I close my eyes, a tingle forming in my left arm, and I know a panic attack is going to come if I don’t relax. But attempting to calm myself when an attack is brewing is like trying to stop myself from spinning when thrown into a tornado.
Tynan’s arms come around me, holding me like he used to when I was younger. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
After I got attacked, he was there for me during my episodes. He centered me. He calmed me. He reassured me. I don’t know how I’d have survived the aftereffects without him.
Though he can be a real son of a bitch sometimes, he’s also the best person I know.
“He said I’m out.” My throat goes dry, a burning sensation pinching the back of my throat. “The academy. The family. I’m out, Tynan.” I force a broken smile, my vision cloudy.
“That’s fucking bull!” He pivots his head back and grabs my shoulders, looking intently at me. “We’re not going to let that stand, you hear me?”
I nod, even though I know no matter what he says to our father, it may not work. But looking at my brother, looking at the certainty ingrained in his gaze, I grasp on to hope.
“I’ll talk to Fionn and Cillian,” he declares. “We will knock some sense into the old man. And if you think any of us give a shit what he says, then you don’t know me.”
He drops his hands to his sides, and his eyes flash with thunderous darkness.
“He can kick you out from his life if that’s what he wants, but he will never kick you out from mine.” And my brother, who barely smiles, lets a small one slip. “You’ve always been a pain in the ass. Always had to cover your messes, but you know I’ll always have your back.”
Don’t you dare cry.
“Thank you.” I blink back my emotions. “Ditto.”
He nods. “But I think until we figure this out, you have to stay away from Gio.”
“Okay.”
I realize it may be over for good. My father will never let us be together. And if I marry him anyway? Then what? Never be invited to family dinners or birthdays? Have my brothers and sister come around on their own without our father? No, I can’t live a life like that.
But the thought of never being with Gio, never knowing if we could build a life together, tears me up inside.
The ring he gave me, the way it looked on my hand…I want that. I want to be his wife. I want the safety of his arms. The way he laughs with me. The way he makes me feel—both within my body and my heart.
But is it worth it to give up everything else to have him?
I clear my throat, fighting all thoughts of him, remembering that Sergey is out there and I have to focus on finding him.
I’m on my own with that. I don’t want to involve anyone else.
He’s mine to kill. But knowing Sergey, he’s going to hide in a hole until he decides to come after me. It’s what I fear: a surprise attack.
“He told me Eriu left,” I add. “He said it’s my fault because she found out. But it can’t be true, right? She didn’t want to marry him.”
“Fuck, that’s probably why he called me. I was out. Just got in.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “We’ll find her. I’ll get her phone tracked.”
“Okay. It’s still on. I called it just now.”
“I’ll get the crew on it immediately, unless he has already.”
My eyes flutter closed, emotionally exhausted from it all.
“Where you off to now?”
“Going to see Kora before heading to my apartment.”
“Alright. I’ll call you once we’ve found Eriu. She couldn’t have gone far.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what she was thinking.”
“She was probably thinking she didn’t want to marry someone she didn’t love.”
“Love.” He snickers. “What the hell does love have to do with marriage?”
“Wow,” I scoff. “I finally found someone who hates marriage more than I do.”
“Come on now, Iseult. You don’t hate marriage. You just don’t want to trust anyone, which is fine. I get that. But for me? Marriage sounds as good as getting thrown into a volcano.”
I laugh at his grimace.
“You laugh, but I’m not joking. I’d probably prefer the volcano.”
I shake my head, laughing still, knowing my brother isn’t kidding at all.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Kora lets out an aggravated sigh, holding me in her arms.
“You know I’m not actually going to a different country, right? I’m only like four hours away.”
She backs off, her expression crestfallen.
“New York City may as well be a whole other country.” Her brows climb to her hairline.
“I really can’t believe he’s throwing a fit about this.
It’s not like you were really having an affair.
” She rolls her eyes. “He forced that damn engagement. This is so stupid.”
“I know, but it’s how it is in our world.”
“Well, the world sucks.” She plops down on the bed, her underground apartment spacious enough with a modest bedroom and a similar-sized kitchen and living room. “No one is going to force me to marry anyone. This isn’t the sixteen hundreds.”
“Believe me, I know.”
“You can just stay here with me.” She frowns. “I won’t tell.”
“Thanks.” I laugh dolefully. “You’re a good friend. But I have to go.”
I start for the door, and she rises to walk me out.
“He’s an ass.” She hugs me tight one last time.
Yeah, he is.
Just as we part, I say, “If you hear anything about Eriu, let me know, okay?”
“Of course!” She shakes her head. “Your poor sister. God knows where she is. I hope no one hurt her. She’s not like us, you know?”
Her worry is reflected in my rapid heartbeats.
That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
GIO
She’s been gone for a while now, and other than a text to let me know she got home to her father’s, I haven’t heard a word.
I’m hoping she’s telling Patrick about us.
I want everyone to know we’re engaged. I don’t want us to hide like what we feel for one another is wrong. Because none of it feels wrong.
My cell starts to vibrate, and I instantly reach for it on the coffee table, hoping it’s her. But I see that it’s my mother instead.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Gio? Have you heard from Iseult today?”
I sit up straighter, registering the alarm in her tone.
“What’s wrong? Something happen?”
She exhales roughly. “Patrick somehow found out about you two, and he was really angry.”
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. “I was afraid of that.”
“Yeah, sweetheart… He threw her out.” She tsks. “Poor girl. She looked so upset. And I’m furious with him!” She curses him in Italian. “He’s been asking for my understanding and forgiveness. But I will not let him have an ounce of it until he blesses your union.”
I’m already on my feet, grabbing the car keys, rushing out the door. “Do you know where she went?”
“No, I don’t… And there’s one more thing.”
Blood rushes to my ears as I open the driver’s side door and start the car, putting her on speaker. “What is it?”
“Eriu ran away. No one knows where. Patrick is going crazy with worry. He’s got everyone looking. I fear she got herself into trouble. And I know Iseult loves her sister, and with everything Patrick said to her, I’m afraid she’s blaming herself.”
“That asshole!” I pause. “Sorry, Ma.”
“Don’t be sorry. He is an asshole. I love him like no one’s business, but my God, I want to bang his head with my frying pan.”
I chuckle as my car roars to life, gunning it down the road, getting onto the main street, heading toward her apartment. I hope she’s there. We have to talk before she shuts me out again.
“I’m going to find her,” I tell my mother.
“Let me know when you talk to her, okay?”
“I will. Thanks, Ma.”
“Always.” A heavy exhale wooshes out of her. “I want my boys to be happy.”
“She makes me happy.”
“Then that’s all I need to know.”
“There’s something else you may want to know,” I throw out.
I’m not sure if I should tell her, but fuck, I want to tell someone.
“What’s that?”
“Can you keep what I’m about to tell you between us?”
“Of course.”
Seconds drift. My heart pounds. “I asked her to marry me yesterday.”
“Oh my God!” she screams, then whispers, “Oh my God.”
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “But I’m afraid Patrick’s actions may have just cost me my wife.”
She scoffs. “That man is going to come around if my frying pan has anything to say about it.”
Even through my worry, I laugh harder.
“You just find her,” she tells me. “And convince her that you’re meant to be together.”
“You’ve met her, right?” I let out a snicker. “Because that woman is stubborn, Ma.”
“All the good ones are.” She sighs. “All the good ones are.”