Chapter 9
KAYLA
“What do you mean, he has to stay at my house now?” I blink back at Michael with utter disbelief. “Tell me this is a joke.”
Beside me, Elsie rubs my arm, but it doesn’t help the situation. Not at all. How the hell am I supposed to live this way?
“It’s for your safety.” Michael’s tone is even. Assertive.
I have no choice. That’s what he’s truly saying.
“After what Chris found, all of you have to lie low, and all of you are getting extra protection.” He glances at Elsie.
“I’m so sick of this!” I let out a scoff. “I’m not scared. If they want me that badly, they can try to come after me too. I’m not afraid to fight back anymore.”
Chris’s mouth jerks at the corner.
I knew I shouldn’t have come over for lunch today. I know they’re trying to protect me, but I’m just… I’m just so over it all. I’m tired.
“I understand that,” Michael says, sounding wholly unconvincing. “But that doesn’t erase the danger you’re in. You know what those animals are capable of. Until we can extinguish them, you’ll have round-the-clock eyes on you.”
Wonderful.
“I know this sucks,” Elsie murmurs, squeezing my hand. “I hate it too, but we have to think about ourselves. This is only temporary. Michael and his brothers will find them all and bring them to justice.”
What she means by that is they’re all gonna die. Which, of course, I’m fine with. The sooner, the better.
“Yeah, okay, fine.”
Yet I internally protest, sending Chris an irritated glower. The bastard has the decency to shoot me a half-smirk.
“You better not snore or anything,” I say to him. “Or I will throw you outside with the bats.”
“Don’t snore, ma’am.” His eyes sparkle as that smirk only deepens. “And I like bats.”
“Of course you do.” I roll my eyes.
Saying my goodbyes, I spin on my heels and head for the door, needing to get to my therapy session with my doc.
Chris strides up beside me.
“Where to next, roomie?” he whispers with a hint of amusement I’d like to wipe from his smug face.
“Therapy. And no, you can’t come inside.”
“That’s a pity. Bet you’d have a lot of good things to say about me.” A knowing chuckle escapes through a breath as we make it outside.
I stop mid-stride.
“Like what?” My gaze narrows at him.
But he only laughs, almost to himself, as we step out into the driveway.
And I have a sinking suspicion I know what he meant.
He heard me dreaming. About him.
He must have my placed bugged.
Fuck me.
And I don’t mean that literally.
I think…
“How have the nightmares been?” Doctor Collins asks, keeping his yellow notepad on his lap, ready to jot down how messed up I still am.
“They have been the same.” I shrug. “Maybe I need more meds.”
I hate taking them. I just want to feel better.
But will that ever happen? Will I stop being trapped in the hell that was once my home? Will I find monsters everywhere I turn?
I just want this all to stop. I want to forget. Move on. Heal. But I can’t. I fucking can’t!
With a silent scream, I let the anger consume me. But the good doc can’t see it. I hide it all too well.
“We can try something different since you’re at the highest dose right now. Have you considered yoga or meditation?”
I bite back a laugh. Pretty sure I’m too far gone for that.
“I’m still boxing. I like it.”
He nods through a squint. “Well, that is a good outlet too. But meditation and yoga may help center you, so you can try both if that’s what you want.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Not happening. I don’t want to sit there doing some breathing exercises. That’s not me.
“Have you considered talking in group? It may help to talk to others about what happened. Women like you who understand.”
“I’m not ready to sit in front of a bunch of people and tell them how many times I was raped.”
He winces. I said it so casually. But I forget most normal people aren’t used to someone speaking about that kind of thing so plainly.
I should change the subject. Maybe bring up Chris again and tell him all about how much I hate having a bodyguard.
And if Chris ever finds out about the other murder, he’ll tell Michael, who’ll probably ship me off to some psych ward to be condemned for eternity.
Life is great!
The doctor’s alarm beeps, signaling that our time is now over.
Thank God.
“If you need me before our next session…” he says. “You have my number.”
“Thanks, yeah. I’ll see you next week.”
I scurry out of there, passing by Jade’s office next door.
She’s really an angel on earth. She went through something even worse than we did.
Having been raped by Agnelo, she got pregnant.
But as soon as her son, Robby, was born, that bastard took him away.
Robby was raised by Agnelo’s daughter, Aida.
A girl who was every bit his victim too.
Jade talks fondly of Aida, and Robby adores her. She’s happy he had someone kind looking after him.
Robby is eight now and back with Jade. But before that, she’d only get to see him once a month, year after year. I don’t know how she endured.
Look at her now, though. Reunited with her son, in a healthy relationship, running this place so well… It brings tears to my eyes.
She has changed so many lives already, giving these women a place to call home, a family who will protect them at all costs. Many of the girls the Bianchis kidnapped were runaways and addicts. They took the ones they thought no one would miss.
But they matter. Every single woman they ruined matters. We’re all human beings. And look what they did to us.
My heart grows rigid as I continue to stare at Jade, but she doesn’t see me watching her through the door, engrossed in a set of papers on her desk.
But just as I swipe under my eye and start down the corridor, she calls my name.
“Kayla? Hey!”
I pause and look over at her.
“Just the woman I needed to talk to,” she adds. “Have a minute for me?”
“Sure!”
Walking into her office, I grin, trying my best to appear like I’m not always falling apart. That I’m happy. That’s all everyone wants me to be.
But happiness is a weird feeling. I don’t know how to be happy. I don’t know if I ever will be either. So I’ve accepted that this is who I am now.
“So…feel free to say no…” She bites her bottom lip and gives me that look that says she really hopes I agree to whatever she’s about to ask me.
I internally groan, already anticipating the worst.
“Yeah…” I pull up a chair and sit before her desk. “What are you going to make me do?”
“How do you know I’m gonna make you do anything?” Her lips pull up.
“Because. You have that look in your eyes.” I squint a shrewd gaze.
“Fine.” Her shoulders slump, and she leans back. “You got me! There’s this girl named Cammie who’s really lost right now…”
Oh, no.
“She was actually in the house with you and Elsie for a couple of years before they took her somewhere else. She could really use someone who can get through to her, someone who knows what she went through.”
Please don’t ask me to do this…
“I was really hoping that would be you…” She gives me that sweet, hopeful look. “She’s mentioned how nice you were to her when you two were at the house… And believe me, I’ve tried to help her myself.” She throws a hand in the air. “But I can’t connect with her as well as I think you can.”
“Jade…please….” I slant my head to the side. “I can barely help myself. How can I help her?”
“You’re stronger than you think.” She purses her lips, her compassion seeping through her angelic blue eyes.
“If I didn’t worry that she’d try running away again, I wouldn’t ask, I swear.
I know you hate talking to people about it all, but I’m desperate.
I want to help her so badly, and she pushes back even harder every time.
So maybe you can give it a shot and see?
” She bends her face in a desperate plea.
My chest squeezes, seeing her pure goodness. Jade wants to help the world. Wants to make all the women better.
“I love you, you know that?” I say with a sting in my throat. “I wish there were more people like you in this world.”
Her eyes mist, and she fans herself. “Stop it. You know very well compliments make me cry.”
“Shut up,” I laugh, tossing a pen at her.
She catches it. “I’m sorry I’m putting this pressure on you. I’m feeling bad about it now, so if you can’t, I really understand. I just know you’d be good at it.”
Releasing a dramatic sigh, I start to rise. “Can I see her now?”
Her gaze pops. “Sure can! She’s in the library right now, using the computers.”
“Great. Gonna go and pretend I know what I’m talking about. But highly doubt I’ll be able to do much for her.”
“All we have is our ability to try. So that’s all I’m asking for.”
“You’d make a good shrink.”
“That’s what Dr. Collins says.” She grins. “But I’m happy to do a little bit of everything. Let me know how it goes with Cammie.”
“Will do. See ya later.”
She waves while I head for the elevator, entering it before it climbs up to the fourth floor. My pulse instantly throbs. I really have no idea what to tell this girl. Sure, I remember her. She was quiet. Cried a lot. Kind of like me.
Except unlike me, she didn’t become a murderer, so at least she has that going for her. Silver lining and all that.
As soon as I walk in, I spot her sitting alone in front of a laptop. I remember being able to count the amount of ribs she had while they…
My gut churns.
I don’t want to go back there. Not now. But I can’t stop it, not when I’m in this place, seeing the woman I was once locked away with.
There were so many at the house with Elsie and me, some coming and going, others never returning again.
Because they were dead.
They’d show us photos.
Made us scared to get help.
That’s what happens to little girls who don’t know how to keep quiet. You’re gonna keep quiet, right, Kayla?
Of course I did. I’d never risk my or Elsie’s lives.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I drag in a long breath to get courage in my system before I nonchalantly take an empty seat beside her.
She glances my way and smiles shyly before she continues reading something on the screen I can’t make out.
“Hey, Cammie. Nice to see you.”