Chapter 15
KAYLA
I’ve been a good girl the past three days. I haven’t killed a soul. And A has been awfully quiet too. Haven’t even gotten a note from him.
I quite miss them. Miss him.
I hate admitting that. But I can’t deny it’s true.
I want to see him again. Talk to him. Feel those sensations he brings out in me.
Why hasn’t he reached out?
Did he get sick of me? Did he move on to some other damaged girl who’s less broken? Maybe he’s better off…
I’ve done all I can to get my mind off him. Had a session with Dr. Collins. Went to work at the club. Studied. Went out to eat with Elsie and Jade. Sat in the park and watched the sun rise.
I even read a book. I hadn’t read one since before I was taken. It felt nice. Too nice. And I knew sooner or later it would all come crashing down.
And today, it did just that.
My heart races at the headline on the television screen.
Midnight Murderer struck again.
This time she was an eighteen-year-old redhead with a beautiful smile, attending an Ivy League university to study biology. Her mother sobbed on the television screen, telling the world what was robbed from her.
Like me, this young woman wanted to become an oncologist. Her mother was a cancer survivor, and Bella wanted to help those battling the horrible disease, like the doctors who helped her mom did.
And this animal, he took that from her, from the world.
All the good she could’ve done. He wiped away her dreams and stole her future.
For his own selfish, sickening pleasure.
If I could, I’d kill every single one of them. Every depraved soul that walks these streets. They’re all like the ones who took me and my friends. They don’t see us as people. We’re just toys for their pleasure.
But how do I find this killer? He doesn’t even have a type. I can’t make myself prey.
I would if I could. I’d lure him in, and then I’d be the one to kill him.
Or at least I’d die trying.
My phone goes off suddenly, yet I still stare at the TV screen as I pick it up, glancing to see who it is, thinking it’s my mom again.
But it’s a text from a number I don’t recognize.
That gets my attention.
Anonymous
Hey.
My body grows ice cold. Is it him?
I swallow past the thick anxiety crawling up my throat. I make it to the window and glance outside, but see no one except Chris, who’s in his car giving me space.
Kayla
Who the hell is this?
Anonymous
Did you already forget about me, little wolf?
Kayla
A? Jesus, could you maybe let a girl know you have her number?
I want to ask him where he’s been. Why all of a sudden he’s reaching out.
But that’d be pathetic. It’s only been a few days.
He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a man I kill with.
Nothing more. Two crazy people doing crazy things.
That’s all we are. That’s all we can be.
Maybe that’s why he kept his distance. So that I don’t get any wrong ideas.
A
Did I scare you?
Kayla
No. I was just watching the news. He killed another girl.
A
I know.
He won’t touch you, I promise. No one will.
Kayla
I’m not afraid of that. I want him to come after me. I want to be the one to kill him. Please tell me if you have some idea how to find him.
If he did, I wouldn’t hesitate.
A
If I did, I’d have killed him by now. But, Kayla? I’d never allow you to make yourself the target.
Kayla
I don’t remember asking for your permission.
Silence. He doesn’t respond for minutes, and I wonder if he ever will. My cell rings, and it’s his number.
My heart speeds up, and as I answer, I clear my throat.
“Yes? How may I help you?” I tease.
“Kayla, I don’t know what the fuck is going through your head. But when I tell you I will never allow it, I mean that!” His howling breaths register through the line.
A shiver coasts up my body.
His voice… He sounds worried. And I very much like the sound of that.
“He isn’t like the other men you’ve been playing with,” he goes on. “He’s different. He will kill you, and I will never let that happen.”
“But you’ll be there, won’t you? You’re always there. So if he tries, you can stop him. We can work together to put an end to him. He must be stopped before he kills more innocent women.”
My pulse throbs in my ears.
He must die.
My breathing grows faster. My lungs tighten.
Their faces… Those men.
My hand balls tightly as I try to concentrate on A’s voice.
“Absolutely never gonna happen. Do you hear me?! I’ll be the one taking all the risk, not you!” The words leave him in a gritting tone while I try to calm the panic, unable to withstand the weight of the world crashing around me.
My chest is heavy; I’m drowning in it until I’m clawing at it, the phone almost slipping.
“You’re not to look for him or do anything stupid,” he continues, oblivious to my turmoil. “You can play with the other men. And I’ll watch. I like to watch you. But not him. Do I make myself clear?”
My exhales grow shallower.
“Kayla? Are you there?”
“Mm-hmm.” I try to act like I’m fine, but fail.
“You don’t sound okay. Do you need me?”
Yes. Tears prickle my eyes. I need you to hold me.
“No.” I clear my throat and swipe harshly under my eyes. “I’m fine. I can handle myself, okay?”
“This is nonnegotiable, Kayla. I’m not above sending Chris a note about your extracurricular activities. And if he tells Michael, you’re done. You realize that, right?”
Anger radiates through me, my limbs tingling in its wake. “Why the hell do you care what happens to me? You haven’t called in days! So stop pretending like you give a shit, whoever the fuck you are. I endured hell for nine years. I can endure anything after that!”
Thick silence greets me. Until I glance down at the phone to make sure he’s still there.
“I know you have. But I—”
“What, huh?! You care about me now? Can’t live without me because I mean so much to you?” I let out a sardonic laugh. “We don’t even know each other! We’re both just messed up. That’s all we have in common.”
Another laugh bubbles out of me, yet my heart? It breaks, because every word I said was a lie.
I’m just letting my anger win. The rational side of me knows that, but this other side, this girl trapped inside me, she wants to push him away. She wants to be alone. To hurt. To suffer. To bleed in silence.
“You know more about me than anyone in my life ever has, Kayla Jenkins,” he whispers. “And I think I know you pretty well too. Does that scare you?”
He pauses, making my pulse quiver.
“Because it scares the fuck out of me.”
All the air’s trapped in my lungs. I want to say so much, yet nothing comes out. Something in me feels like I know him, or maybe it’s because I want to desperately. Want to see his face.
“You will not go after him.” His voice grows lower, huskier. “You will obey me. Because you don’t want to know what happens when you don’t.”
I scoff. “Is that a threat? You gonna hurt me?”
“I’d never hurt you, baby bird. I want you safe. That’s what this is about.”
My throat aches from the sincerity in his words. He somehow does care, even if he won’t actually say it out loud.
Before I can utter another word, I register a beep on the other end of the call, and when I look at the screen, I see Cammie’s name.
“I have to go. Someone’s calling.”
“Alright. I’ll see you soon. Be a good girl for me and don’t cause trouble.”
Then he’s gone, like a phantom.
With a heavy exhale, I answer Cammie’s call.
“Hey, Cammie!”
She sniffles, and I register her quiet sobs.
My heart instantly races.
“Cammie? What’s wrong?” I jump to my feet, rushing for my keys.
“I—I did something,” she sobs, barely able to catch her breath. “Can you…can you please come?”
“I’m on my way.” I jump out the door and charge into my car, keeping her on the line as I drive off, Chris immediately in my rearview. “Talk to me.” I put her on speaker. “Tell me what happened.”
“I—I called my mom,” she cries. “I thought that this time…may-maybe she’d wanna talk to me, you know. But—but she said she never wants to see me or hear from me. That I shamed her and got myself raped and am playing the victim.”
She snivels so hard, my heart rips into two. How could her mom say that? It wasn’t her fault she was taken. She was an escort at the time and came from a religious family. They had no idea what she was doing on the side, and when she was taken, the police told them the truth.
When they got her back, they shunned her.
Her father and brother called her a whore.
Told her she brought shame upon their congregation.
She thought her mother, someone she was once close to, would eventually forgive her and take her back, but she didn’t.
And all that girl ever wanted was for her family to love her again.
But they never truly did. Because loving someone in the shadow of who you thought they were isn’t love. True love is unconditional.
But I wonder… Would my own family and friends love me if they found out what I’ve done? Or would they treat me like Cammie’s family has?
I think the answer scares me.
“Oh, Cammie, I’m so sorry! I know how much you wanted their acceptance.
But sometimes we never get that. Sometimes the truth is hard because it hurts so much.
And nothing I say will make it hurt less.
But I’m here for you, okay? I’ll be there to listen, to let you cry as much as you want.
We can even go to one of those ax-throwing places and imagine it’s your mom’s face. ”
When she stops crying and silence erupts, I wonder if I overdid it a bit. Then again, her mother deserves it.
Her laughter bursts out, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Glad I didn’t lose you with that one.”
“No.” She chokes on a laugh. “I actually would like that.”
“It’s a date! I’ll be there in about fifteen. Just stay with me, okay?”
“I’m here,” she whispers. “In my room.”
“Good. You don’t ever have to feel alone. We’re your family now. It may not be the same, but we’re here for you, and we’ll never turn you away, no matter what.”
“You were…” She starts crying again, attempting to catch her breath. “You were always so nice.”