Chapter 18
ADRIEL
This woman is slowly killing me. With her smiles and those eyes and the way she wants things the way I want them.
Part of me wants to give it all to her, yet another part wonders whether she really needs it this way. What if she needs someone to hold her instead?
I’m not that man. And she knows that by now. But this? This I can do.
I roll her long, luscious hair around my wrist and force my mouth on hers, kissing her with every breath in my lungs, consuming her rage, her pain, her suffering. I’d take every single scar she’s been made to wear, add them to my collection, just to know she never endured any of it.
Her tongue dances with mine, and those sounds she makes only make me want inside her. To feel her clench around me, to know I did that to her, made her feel this way, the way I feel.
She moans around my mouth, and I swallow her lower lip, wanting to kiss every inch of her.
I’m gradually losing it. Losing everything to her. But I can’t resist it.
I wrench back and wish that I could see her face, her eyes, the lust within them. “Once I feel your mouth wrapped around my cock, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive it.”
“You’ll manage.” She laughs with a groan as I rub her wet clit between two fingers.
Her hand curls inside my pants, rubbing my hard-on.
“Fuck!” I growl. “You’re my little sinner, taking me to hell with you.”
“We’ve already been to hell. Maybe this is our reward.”
She strokes me faster, making my teeth snap. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s my reward. Or maybe the devil’s tricking me, tempting me with something I can’t have.
But the thought of thrusting into her throat…I’ll take that trick.
With a hand to the top of her head, I force her down hard. “On your knees, little wolf.”
I feel her lower, both hands grabbing my belt.
“Take it out and fill your mouth with it.”
Her breaths rise, mingled with the darkness surrounding us.
She drags my pants down, my heavy length in the softness of her hand, and the next thing I know is her heavenly tongue rolling around the crown of my cock.
“Jesus Christ…” My head falls behind me, one hand in her hair, fingers spreading, gently holding her still, until I lose all self-control.
I grab a fistful of her luscious waves and jerk her head back.
“I want you gagging on it. Want you full of me until you can barely breathe. Want my cum running down your chin, even though I can’t see it.” I let out a low growl. “I want to own you, Kayla. I want to ingrain myself in your DNA until you can’t fucking live without me.”
Jesus, I sound insane. But I don’t give a shit right now. I want this woman on a level I can’t even comprehend. My mind is unable to catch up with my mouth.
“Want that too…” she says.
My God, what the hell is wrong with her, wanting someone like me?
My chest squeezes, and I brush the back of my hand down her face. “My baby bird. Made perfectly for me. Yet I don’t deserve you. Never deserved anything.”
I grab my dick with one hand and keep the back of her head steady with the other. Roughly, I push her down, so hard she gags just the way I want it.
“That’s it. That’s my good girl. Take every inch of me down your tight little throat. Gonna think about your pussy while you fuck my cock with that mouth.”
Her little whimpers pulse through me as she sucks with fervor, making me gasp for fucking air because this woman’s robbing me of it.
I ram her head down deeper, harder, over and over until I hit the back of her throat, my thick cock stretching her in the way I wish it could stretch her pretty pink pussy.
She moans around me, squeezing my balls as I bury myself as far as I can go, thrusting until I lose every hint of reservation, giving it to her as rough as she wanted it.
She’s mine. This thing between us, it’s mine. It’s ours. No one will have her after this. No one but me.
With a roar, I release myself into her, warm liquid dripping down her throat, and I swear I’ve never come this hard before. Never felt an ounce of what she makes me feel.
What the fuck is happening, and how do I make it stop?
The span of my palm grips her nape, not letting her move as I give her every single drop of me until she’s consumed it all. Taken my essence into her very soul. Until all she knows is me.
When I’m through, I slowly let her go and slip out of her mouth.
She stays that way, on her knees, heavy exhales rushing out. The back of my hand runs up and down her cheek.
“Did I hurt you, little wolf?”
Because I don’t want to do that.
She grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles again and again, then fastens my palm around her face.
“No,” she whispers, twining her fingers through mine. “I needed that.”
Needed that too.
With a sigh, she rises to her feet, and her arms? They fasten around me and hold on for long seconds, or minutes, or maybe hours. I don’t know, and I don’t care. Because with her, time seems to stand still, and I want to stand still with her.
My arms come around her too, getting used to the feeling of holding someone for the first time in my life. It’s strange, this feeling. Part of me wants to push her away, and the other part wants to hold her tighter.
But she’s here. She’s in my arms, and somehow, I’m in hers.
She knows the things I do, the lives I’ve taken, and yet she’s still here.
She still wants me in some twisted way. Maybe it’s because she’s messed up.
Maybe one day she’ll wake up and realize that someone like me will never be good enough for someone like her.
And maybe then I’ll lose her. Lose this.
But right now, I just wanna hang on. Because it’s all I have. I’ve never had anything close to this before. Never felt whatever is happening between us.
And I want it. Even when it doesn’t make sense to want things that were never meant to be mine.
I lower my mouth against her temple and kiss her, breathing her in like she’s the only thing keeping my blood pumping.
“I have a present for you,” I whisper against the shell of her ear, having completely forgotten the gifts that await her back in my home.
Goose bumps rise on the back of her neck.
Did I do that?
“But it’s not my birthday yet.” She exhales and buries her arms deeper into my muscles.
“To me, every day is your birthday.”
“Oh, A,” she gushes playfully. “And you say you have no heart.”
I smirk. “Just wait until you see the kind of gift I got you before you claim I have something I don’t.”
She rests her forearms on my shoulders, and I can just see her mouth form a smile. “And how do I get this present?”
“I’ll take you there.” I move back a step, lowering my hands to slip her panties back around her before stuffing myself inside my pants and zipping them up.
“When?” she asks.
“Now.”
“What? How?” I can sense the excitement in her voice.
“I’ll leave here first while you give me a few minutes before you come out. Then you’re gonna tell Eriu you have to go home. Better yet, tell her to go home too. She shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“Wait. How do you even know her name?” She pauses. “You know what? Never mind that. Where are we going?”
I take a few seconds before I answer, unsure if I should even be doing this. But that’s the only place it can happen.
“My home.”
She gasps. “Really?”
“My black SUV will be waiting for you in the front, and yes, my mask will be on this time.”
She releases a frustrated exhale, but doesn’t say anything else.
“Now turn around and face the wall, and don’t look behind you.” I drop my lips against her throat, her hammering pulse quickening beneath my lips. “I’ll know if you did. Don’t disappoint me.”
When she refuses to move, I chuckle.
“Stubborn girl.” I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her slowly, feeling that poison fill the marrow of my bones.
She groans, and her fingers snap to my scalp, holding on so tight, like she doesn’t want to let go.
I don’t want to either. I want to escape with her. Be the kind of man who can hold her and love her and do all the things someone normal would be able to do.
But I’m not normal. I’m this. And he doesn’t know what the hell love even means.
With my heart heavy, I hook my arms under her thighs and lift her up in the air, kissing her wildly while her legs wind around my hips.
This is what I can do. All I’m capable of.
I slam her up against the wall, dropping her a fraction lower while I rock against her, unable to stop this maddening need to own every inch of her. To shackle her, brand her as mine. Like a hostage. Because I’m hers.
“Fuck…” I press her forehead to mine. “We need to go before it gets too late.”
“I’m not the one who kissed you like that.” Her warm breath bathes my lips, heat spreading through me.
I laugh, and damn, does it feel good.
Settling my lips to the corner of her mouth, I say, “Stop tasting so damn sweet, then.”
“Can’t help myself.” She slants her mouth against me and hungrily kisses me again until, in a flash, she rolls back. “Shit, Chris is still here. He’s probably looking for me.”
“Don’t worry about him. I took care of that.”
“What? Please don’t tell me you killed him.”
“No. Not exactly…but he won’t be an issue anymore.”
“What the hell does that even mean?”
Is she worried about him?
I grab her throat and grit my teeth.
“It means he’s not going to be around anymore, distracting you with things I can’t gi—” I stop myself before I finish that.
“You what?” Her voice drops.
“I didn’t like how close to you he was getting. I saw the way you were looking at him at your parents’. You want him, don’t you?”
“So you were there…”
“Of course I was. I’m always there.” I nip her lower lip. “It’s why you dreamed about him. Isn’t that right? You’re attracted to him. You can see yourself with him.”
The way you can’t with me.
Of course she can’t. I have nothing to offer except this need to possess every inch of her.
“Well, I’d be attracted to you if you actually showed me your damn face!” she fires out.
I can’t help but grin even as the envy within me grows, because I don’t want anyone else on her mind but me.
My body spirals with my rage, dueling between wanting to tell her everything about me and wanting to get away from her as fast as I can.
But when I think about never seeing her again, never feeling her arms around me, something within me snaps.
“This is just fun and games to you anyway,” she goes on, her tone growing irate.
The fact that she even thinks that makes me angrier.
“You don’t even want me like that! Which is fine.” She scoffs.” I don’t care.”
But she does care. I can hear it in her voice. I wish she didn’t. She shouldn’t want me. But the idea of her not caring hurts like hell.
Palming my chest, she attempts to push me off unsuccessfully. “I should go. Thanks for the orgasm.”
My pulse beats in my neck, and all I do is hold her throat a little tighter.
“Does it look like I’m having fun right now?
” I snap, my heart racing. “To not be able to stop fucking thinking about you every goddamn second of my life? To think about what you’re doing.
If you ate. If you’re having a nightmare again when I’m not there.
Fuck, Kayla. This isn’t fun!” I brush my lips with hers, gritting my teeth. “This is torture.”
“You…you think about me?” she whispers, her mouth whisking over mine.
“Let. Me. Finish.” I wrench back an inch, needing to get it out before I kiss her again, and then we’ll never get out of here.
“I’ve never felt whatever the hell you’re doing to me.
Never asked for it. Never wanted it. Never even knew that it existed.
Until you, Kayla fucking Jenkins. So don’t you dare tell me what I want.
Because you have no idea what you’re talking about. ”
Silence.
Complete and utter silence.
My heavy breaths take hold until they echo through the room.
Is she gonna say something? Or is she gonna stand there and make me feel like a jackass?
“Wow.”
Finally. She speaks.
“Okay.” She laughs nervously. “That was…uh…very insightful.”
“Insightful, huh?” I exhale so loudly, it sounds demonic. “That’s all you’re gonna say?”
“I mean, what do you want me to say? You’re clearly obsessed with me.”
Ahh, there’s that sarcasm.
“It’s kinda unhealthy. Have you talked to a shrink?” She laughs.
This goddamn woman. With a growl, I grab her jaw and kiss her one last time, not knowing when I’ll get to do it again. Because here, in the dark, I can be me. No barriers. Just us. And it scares me how badly I want that.
She sucks my tongue into her mouth, and before this goes any further, I yank her head back by her hair.
“Turn around. Face the damn wall. And come outside in five minutes. You got it?”
“Fine. I’ll do as you wish. But know this. One day soon, I’ll rip that mask off and you’ll let me kiss you when I can see your face.”
If only…
Then I rush out of there before I make that fantasy of hers come true.