Chapter 5
Icrept down the stairs of my house, trying to make as little noise as possible.
I had a meeting to go to, and with the hounds on the loose, I didn’t have a chance in hell of getting out this house without getting caught.
Last night while Titan went to get my ice cream, I received a message from JacQues asking to meet him because he wanted to discuss business.
I knew my husband nor my mother would never let me out of their sight, so I did the only thing I could think to do…
sneak out. At least I was trying to. My stomach was growling like hell.
This baby barely let me eat, even though I was hungry all the time.
Even knowing that I was most likely going to throw it back up, I made a pit stop in the kitchen to warm up one of the breakfast bowls my mama always made.
Placing it in the microwave, I turned it on and went back to the fridge for a bottle of juice. When I closed the door, I damn near jumped out of my skin. Titan stood there fully dressed with his arms crossed.
“Going somewhere?” he asked.
“I… um… no.”
“So you just snuck outta bed for what?”
“Clearly, I’m getting food. I didn’t want to wake you up. Jesus.”
He chuckled as he stepped closer to me. “We lying to each other?”
“You see the fucking food in the microwave, Titan.”
“Because you damn sure better be feeding my baby. But um, explain to me why you think you’re going off to meet that nigga.”
“What?”
“Oh, you hard of hearing?” He started signing the words because, of course this nigga knew sign language. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he asked as he signed. “That clear enough for you, wifey?”
“I wasn’t going anywhere.”
He pulled a phone from his pocket that looked identical to my burner. I found myself patting my pockets to make sure he hadn’t taken it. It was right where I’d left it in my back pocket.
“Yesterday, 10:23 p.m. That JacQues nigga told you to meet him to discuss business. You agreed at 10:25 p.m.”
My mouth fell open in surprise, even though this shouldn’t have been a surprising moment.
“Did you clone my phone?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“And did.”
“When!”
“When I got here two weeks ago. I can get in anywhere you are, mamas. Also, you can’t be sleeping that hard, love.
I’m just gonna blame it on the baby, you didn’t even hear me come in the room.
I sat here for a good hour watching you sleep.
” He smiled. “You had on those yellow pajama shorts I love. My baby was just poking out. I almost climbed in bed with you, but I didn’t wanna blow my cover. ”
“You just admitted to breaking in my fucking house. You are insane, Titan!”
I stared blankly at her. “You say that like it’s a problem.”
“It is!”
“Are you not my wife?”
“Nigga!”
“Answer the question. Are you not my wife?”
I huffed. “Yes.”
“Are you not carrying my baby?”
“Yes.”
“And didn’t I say I can be anywhere my wife is? That’s your problem. You take this marriage as a muthafucking joke and I ain’t playing withcho’ goofy ass.” He put a finger to my forehead and mushed me. “See if I don’t turn up on you in this bitch about mine… mine meaning you.”
As he turned to grab my food from the microwave, I stared at him, a combination of pissed off and turned on.
This man didn’t pay me any mind as he mixed the bowl together and handed it to me.
He copped a squat in front of me, lifting my oversized sweater, he pulled the elastic band of my leggings down, allowing my small bump to take shape.
“Morning, daddy’s baby,” he said, kissing my belly. “Your mama got us fucked up.”
I kissed my teeth. “Whatever.”
I tried to hide my smile as he loved on my belly, completely ignoring me.
He spoke to his child like it would understand what he was saying.
There was so much love and softness in his tone.
I could tell he really wanted this baby.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad being parents with him.
I can’t say that I ever wanted children before, but the more I bonded with this baby, the more motherhood grew on me.
This was different from my nieces and nephews. I could love on them and give them back to their parents. This baby had to come home with me, and I had to care for it. Titan was ready, but then again, he’d always voiced that he wanted kids at some point. I just didn’t think it would be with me.
Clearly, he wasn’t letting either of us go anywhere.
He was crazy enough to come find me if I tried to leave, and it didn’t help that he had the two smartest people I knew on his side.
How had my only sister become a traitor?
Titan would probably tie me up in a room somewhere, and my dumb ass would get excited about it.
Fighting meant we got to make up and damn did I love to make up. That was that toxic shit. We’d been at it so long that I barely knew how to function in a healthy manner. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to try… I needed to try.
I set the bowl down, not even taking a bite of the food.
“Titan,” I said softly, peering down at him.
“What’s up?”
I beckoned him to his feet. Standing to his full height, he towered over me, resting both hands on either side of the counter.
I swallowed hard as I looked up at him. I’d always had the hardest time expressing my feelings to him because it always felt like it would break something in me to feel it…
really feel it. It was so easy for my brothers and Jaeda to express their love to their spouses.
That was the crazy part. I remembered when Deuce, Maceo, and Smoke claimed they had no love for these hos, now they were the main ones screaming about their wives every chance they got.
They worship Salima, Shar, and Romi and vice versa.
Jaeda was head over heels for Quaid and it was effortlessly returned.
It wasn’t like that for me. Did I love my husband?
Yes. Did I feel like I could easily say that or show it?
Telling Titan I loved him gave him the power to hurt me in ways I couldn’t fathom.
No nigga could ever say they got one up on me.
The one man who thought he could get away with putting his hands on me is six feet deep.
I didn’t want to be my mother with my father, blindly loving a man who was still in love with someone he couldn’t even have.
And I couldn’t see myself settling with having a piece of any man for the sake of being in love.
“Mia?” Titan said, snapping his fingers in my face.
I blinked a few times, bringing myself out of my thoughts. He was looking at me curiously.
“Hmm?”
“You called my name like you had something to say,” he noted.
“Oh, um… nothing. I just… I just wanted to tell you that I—” I swallowed hard. “I love you.”
He stood there for a moment before crossing his arms. “Why is that so hard for you to say?”
I shrugged. “Because it could get me hurt.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Mia. That’s what you don’t understand. I love the fuck outta you. I care about you more than I care about my damn self. Ain’t nothing in this world that I wouldn’t give or do for you, and that was before the ring… the one you won’t wear on the right finger, by the way.”
He lifted my right hand and removed it before slipping it on the ring finger on my left hand.
“You don’t wear yours, either.”
He held up his left hand. “Not in the field, but I have that shit on me.”
I looked closely at his ring finger to see our wedding date perfectly tatted. My bottom lip involuntarily poked out as I peered up at him.
“You did that for me?” I asked, tearing up.
“You’re mine. Been mine. Always gon’ be mine.”
I couldn’t stop myself from crying at this point. This damn baby was doing a number on my hormones. I wasn’t this soft ass bitch, and it was driving me crazy.
“Fuck!” I groaned, wiping my eyes. “I don’t like feeling like this.”
“What? Vulnerable?”
“Yes! This feels too much like being weak.”
“You are the strongest muthafucka I know. Ain’t shit weak about you.
It’s okay to be soft, Mia. The only time you show real emotion is when we are fighting or I’m fucking you.
That ain’t all I’m trying to do cause that shit is exhausting.
I ain’t your nigga and you ain’t my bitch.
I’m your husband and you are my wife, and it’s about damn time we started acting in that capacity. ”
I sighed. “You’re right.”
He cupped his ear. “What was that?”
“I said you’re right, damn.”
He grinned as he cupped my face. “You gon’ see shit my way one of these days, love.”
Leaning in, he kissed me softly and with so much passion.
I moaned against his lips as he slipped his tongue into my mouth.
We were getting hot and heavy when someone cleared their throat behind us.
I turned to see my mama standing in the entryway of the kitchen with her arms folded, shaking her head.
“Y’all get on my damn nerves. You have the audacity to be this cute and act the way you do.”
Titan chuckled. “Good morning, Ma. I think it’s about time I start calling you that.”
She stopped and glared at him. “Boy, don’t play with me.”
She walked over to where we stood and stared at both of us. The next thing I felt was her arms pulling us both into a hug.
“I love you both,” she whispered. She kissed both of our cheeks then rubbed my stomach. “I can’t believe you made me a grandma. They can call me Nana or Glammy, but none of the grandma shit.”
I rolled my eyes. “Have you told Senior?”
“No. You’re gonna tell him. Both of you. I’ll be there for emotional support and to keep him from shooting your husband. Damn, that doesn’t even sound right.”
“We doing group hugs?”
We looked back to see Booker coming at us with a grin and open arms. Titan pulled out his gun and pointed it at him.
“Don’t bring your ass over here with that shit, nigga.”
“Damn! I can’t show my family no love? That’s crazy!” He wrapped his arms around my mama and kissed her cheek. “You love me, don’t you Ms. Maddie?”
“Boy, if you don’t get your hands off me. You ain’t slick. I already told you, I’m old enough to be your damn mama.”
“So. I’m grown, and you grown. We can be real grown together.”
I grabbed a knife from the counter and put it under his chin. “I will slit your throat if you push up on my mama again. Try Jesus before you try her.”
“Daaaaamn! It’s like that?” He stepped back with his hands raised. “I see how y’all do me. It’s cool. I fight for my love.”
My mother rolled her eyes as she slipped past me. “I’m not doing this today. Get out of my kitchen so I can cook. Since the whole calvary is here, I guess I can feed y’all.”
“We about to dip out for a second, Ma,” Titan said, grabbing my hand.
“Where are y’all going?”
“Just out. I can’t spend some time with my wife?”
She gave us a side eye. “Be back in here in an hour.”
“I hear you.”
He pulled me toward the front door.
“Are you taking me to the meeting?” I asked in a low whisper.
“Fuck no. I made you an appointment so I can see my baby.”
“How? You don’t even know who my— nevermind, I forgot your best friend is married to my sister… your new bestie.”
He grinned. “Don’t be a hater. How are you bitter because my sister-in-law loves me?”
“I’m not bitter. It’s enough that I have to share her with Quaid and our sisters in-law. Now I have to share her with you too.”
He shook his head as we walked out to his car.
“One would think you were an only child.”
“I was for fifteen years.”
“You’ll live.”
He slapped my ass as I climbed into the truck.
I really didn’t hate that he and my sister had grown closer.
At some point, he was going to be around my family on a regular basis.
My brothers finally got along with him, and that was the hard part.
Granted, I didn’t make it any easier for them to like him, and neither did he.
They were all strong willed and temperamental, so a clash was bound to happen.
I guess that could be said for me too.
Maybe I could learn to be a little softer or listen to understand instead of respond.
Maybe I could learn to let him lead. My biggest fear was allowing a man to become the center of my world and losing myself in the process.
Could I be a wife and mother while still being Mia?
Would it be so bad to be a submissive wife?
My sisters submitted to their husbands without losing themselves and my brothers worshiped the ground they walked on.
Maybe, just maybe, I could do the same.