Chapter 41 Mia
My eyes popped open, and my body sprang up from the bed.
I hurriedly tossed back the covers and sprinted to the bathroom.
I’d barely made it to the toilet before I was puking my damn guts out until I was dry heaving.
I could hear Titan’s footsteps behind me against the tile flooring.
He squatted next to me, rubbing my back in a soothing manner.
When I had nothing left to give, I flushed the toilet and sat on the bathroom floor with my back against the sink, crying my eyes out. My head was pounding, I was cramping, and I was exhausted. I’d tossed and turned almost all night because I couldn’t stay asleep.
“I just wanna go to bed,” I sobbed. “And I’m mad because I really enjoyed that food before I threw it all up! Now I’m hungry and I can’t even eat my leftovers because I’m gonna throw it up too!”
Titan looked at me with furrowed brows. “I’ll get you some soup, baby.”
“I don’t want any fucking soup!”
I was in full blown tears, and I was pissed because I didn’t even act like this when I was sick. Titan sighed and stood to his feet. Reaching over, he turned on the shower, then helped me up.
“Let’s get you showered so we can go to this doctor.”
I nodded through my tears as he undressed me then himself.
The entire time we were in the shower, I cried.
I just couldn’t seem to stop. I was crying about absolutely nothing, and it was pissing me off more.
The tears had finally subsided into sniffles by the time we got out.
I brushed my teeth and moisturized my skin before going into the closet to find something to wear.
I didn’t even bother looking for anything decent.
Instead, I slipped into a pair of his sweats, a hoodie, and a pair of Ugg boots, since it was cold out.
I pulled my hair into a messy bun and decided to forgo any makeup.
The only plans I had for the day when we got back was to climb under my covers and try to rest.
Begrudgingly, I followed my husband downstairs and out to the car.
I managed to get a good little twenty-minute nap in before we were pulling into the parking lot of the women’s care center.
It had just opened, so there weren’t many cars in the parking lot.
I prayed that meant we could get in, get out, and get home quickly.
Titan helped me out and led me inside. While I sat there trying to get in a few more minutes of sleep before I was called back, he filled out my intake paperwork.
“Baby…”
I groaned at him calling my name. “What?”
“When was your last period?”
The question caused me to sit up straight. I stared blankly at the wall, trying to do the calculations in my head.
“I… I don’t remember. Was it before St. Thomas?”
“Definitely before then. You haven’t had it since we’ve been back?”
I shook my head. “No.”
We stared at each other.
“You think—”
“I don’t know,” I answered quickly. “Nothing’s happened all these months. I don’t wanna get my hopes up.”
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “What if we have a reason?”
My lips trembled. “I’m scared.”
“I’m right here with you, mamas. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”
Cupping my chin, he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before going back to the paperwork. I sat rigid in the chair, my mind racing with a million what-ifs and possible outcomes.
What if I was pregnant?
What if I wasn’t?
What if I was, and I couldn’t carry this baby to term? Would they have to deliver it early? Would I even make it to the point?
There were so many thoughts running through my mind that I didn’t hear my name being called until I felt a nudge. I blinked and looked up to see Titan standing over me.
“You with me, love?” he asked.
“Sorry. I was just lost in my thoughts.”
“It’s your turn.”
He reached for my hand and pulled me to my feet.
Slowly, we walked to the back. The nurse introduced herself, collected my height, weight, and urine sample, and placed us in a room to wait for the doctor.
It seemed like time was moving particularly slow.
I stared at the clock on the wall, counting the minutes until the door opened.
In walked a beautiful brown-skinned sister with long locs down her back. She offered a warm, friendly smile.
“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. DeLuca. I’m Dr. Walters. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” I choked out.
“I see you’re here because you suspect you have a stomach bug?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Symptoms?”
“Um… vomiting. Headaches. I can’t sleep or keep anything down.”
“When did these symptoms start?”
“A few days ago.”
She looked at the clipboard with my paperwork. “It says here your last period was a few months ago. Have they always been regular or irregular?
“Regular.”
“Any stress or life changes?”
“Both. I um… I was previously pregnant, and I was shot. I lost my baby, and as you can imagine, that’s been a stressful time. On top of that, we’ve been trying to get pregnant again, and it’s just not happening.”
She offered me a sympathetic smile. “I’m so sorry.” Her smile brightened as she grabbed my hand. “According to your chart, it’s happened.”
I froze, and I heard the moment Titan’s breath hitched.
“What?” I whispered.
“You’re pregnant.”
“I’m… I’m pregnant?”
She showed me the paperwork. “They ran a test. We can do a vaginal ultrasound to confirm how far along you are. Would you like that?”
“I can see my baby?”
I knew I must have sounded slow as hell, but I was in shock. Titan hadn’t said a word. He was just staring at my stomach.
“Yes, honey,” Dr. Walters said, handing me a sheet. “Get undressed from the waist down and give me a moment. Congratulations.”
She squeezed my hand before releasing it and leaving the room. I sat there, stunned for a moment before slipping out of my pants and underwear and draping the sheet over myself.
“We’re having a baby,” Titan whispered. “We’re… we’re having a baby.”
He dropped his head in his hands, rocking back and forth slightly. When he looked at me, tears stained his face, same as they did mine. He stood to his feet and came to me, wrapping me up in a tight hug. Together, we cried tears of happiness.
After all we had endured. After loving on everybody else’s babies while longing for our own.
After long, agonizing months of trying and getting no results, we were finally pregnant.
I was so tired of the negative pregnancy tests that I’d stopped taking them.
A lot of them sat in a bag under my bathroom sink, haunting me every time I opened it.
Now I didn’t need them anymore. I released an audible cry. My heart was so full.
Titan pulled back and cupped my face, crashing his lips into mine.
“Thank you, mamas,” he said. He touched my stomach. “You have no idea how fucking happy I am. Thank you.”
He kissed me passionately, stopping only because the door opened. Dr. Walters paused when she walked in and smiled.
“I can come back if you need a moment. I can only imagine the array of emotions you must be feeling.”
“No, doc,” Titan said. “Come on in here and let us see our boy.”
“So sure already?” she asked, closing the door.
“Positive.”
“Well, let’s see if we can determine that.”
She had me lie back and prop my legs up. Titan stood beside me, holding my hand as she prepared the wand.
“You might feel a little pressure,” she said as she moved in front of me.
I took a deep breath as she inserted the wand and moved it around. Almost instantly, a black and white image populated the screen. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at my baby.
“There’s your little bean,” Dr. Walters said with a smile. “I’d say you’re about eight or nine weeks. Too soon to tell if it’s a boy or a girl, but daddy is positive this little nugget is a boy.”
I couldn’t say anything as I stared at the screen, tears streaming down my face. I reached out to touch it. There he was, just like Eden said. Another audible cry left my throat as Titan held onto me, crying himself. Dr. Walters offered us a smile.
“I know this must have been a hard road for you both, but I have no doubt that this little one was conceived in great love. I’m so happy for you.”
She handed us some tissues and gave us the rundown of what to expect and look out for before cleaning me up and leaving me to get dressed. Once I was done, we left the room and headed up front to check, pick up the ultrasound pictures, and schedule my next appointment.
When we got out to the car, we both just stood there for a second, smiling at each other.
“We’re having a baby!” I squealed, jumping into his arms.
He laughed and spun me around. When he placed me on my feet, he kissed me softly. His hand went to my belly, and he gave it a gentle rub.
“It had to be that bathtub our last night in St. Thomas,” he said, chuckling. “The way you were riding my shit… that did it.”
I playfully slapped his chest. “I don’t know what to do with myself right now. This has been a long time coming.”
“It has, but I told you it would happen.”
“You did.” I looked up at him and smiled. “Come on. Eden should be the first to know.”
He pecked my lips. “Let’s go tell our girl.”