2 #3
I wasn’t sure how much more time passed, but then Darren was there and he told the others they needed to leave, but if they spoke about what they saw he would eat them. Not hurt them or anything, but actually eat them, and given one was the Heir of Bodach… That was a huge fucking threat.
My lower lip quivered. “Did you really always love me then? She could have your head for that threat. Maple and Fraser didn’t love me like they said. I saw the proof.”
“The fuck I didn’t!” Maple yelled from inside, Fraser saying something similar. “What is this proof? I will beat whoever told such lies.”
“Get in line,” I grumbled and went to drink more but sighed when it was empty, shaking it upside down and frowning.
Then I really frowned when I realized Myriam, Treena, and Velle were gone. How drunk was I?
Very drunk apparently. I didn’t know how I ended up in the living room or what was really going on until Belinda was in front of me, worry thick in her eyes.
“Did you know?” I whispered, asking what I’d been wanting to since I’d read Father wanted to replace me.
She swallowed loudly. “Know what, child?”
“You blocked me from what he was saying once, and I’ve never seen you so upset. You ranted about how I was a gift and—you knew he wanted to replace me as heir, didn’t you?”
Tears filled her eyes. “Yes. Yes, that was when Rhys told me that and—yes, I knew.” She moved closer and wiped my tears I didn’t even realize were falling.
“What has happened, Sagan? No more secrets between us—all of us here who love you. I know I only know parts and Benson knows some too. No more. You are breaking and you have to tell us before you do.”
I think that was what I needed to hear, almost permission to let it all out and it really was as bad as I thought. That what I was feeling was as bad and valid, not just me being broken.
Then it all came pouring out. The floodgates finally just opened fully. I told them everything from finding out I was broke to—everything.
“They were hundreds of millions of dollars in debt and I couldn’t just fix that,” I rambled while angrily wiping tears. Then I finally admitted something I hadn’t even told Myriam. “They hated me, and their debt is part of why I let this mating contest happen with the Alpha families.”
“What?” someone gasped.
“Because if you were potentially entangled with Alpha families—none of which your parents borrowed money from—none of the families your parents owed would try to push their sons on you,” Benson figured out.
“Yes,” I choked out. “I needed Myriam to help me cover it all up and fight to make the money, but it’s been so nice for Eloise—she’s not stunted! It’s their fault she’s different. They forced me to hide her and then you all mock her—”
“Sagan, Sagan, please, I’ve never mocked her,” Maple said as she grabbed my shoulders. “I remember that day. I do. There were several like that and I was worried. It wasn’t—I was telling Rhys he had to do better by you! That hiding your second dragon wasn’t the answer and—it wasn’t chastising.”
“She speaks the truth, and I promise no one here thinks you a freak, monster—none of that,” Belinda said firmly.
“Sorry,” I whispered, realizing I’d gotten it wrong and only listened to Mother’s writings. I scrubbed my face. “Wow, what a fucking bitch to take worry for me as being embarrassed. Yeah, be a real parent then, you psycho.”
I told them the rest and snorted yet again when the five people just sat there—because they’d all needed to sit down at some point—and looked at me as if waiting for me to tell them I was joking. Even Belinda was stunned beyond belief, and I’d never seen that look on her before.
I stood with help from Maple and went over to the sitting room table where I’d left all of the journals. I grabbed the nearest one and brought it over to Darren.
“Tell me you don’t immediately recognize her writing,” I said as I handed it over. “Not her queenly cursive, but her writing. You knew her better than me.”
“I didn’t seem to know her at all,” he whispered, his voice haunted. But he took it and opened it up, swallowing loudly as he flipped through the pages. “This is her writing. I would recognize it anywhere, but… What is this?”
“It’s the language of the trolls. Father didn’t know it.
” I chuckled and told them my random thought that she’d been a spy or like hiding she’d been sleeping with one of the elders.
Then I burst out laughing. “Oh fuck, what if she was? There are dozens of journals. Is that what I still have to find?”
“Wait, how did Amelia learn that—you know the language of the trolls?” Fraser asked.
I shrugged and went for more wine. “I know like sixteen languages? Yeah, I’d say sixteen fluently.”
“What?” a few of them exclaimed.
“I like them. I think it’s sad we just…” I trailed off, remembering what I’d learned. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Why doesn’t it matter now?” Belinda asked.
I looked at her. “I was never supposed to be queen. What does what I think matter anymore? They were going to replace me—I was never really the heir of anything. I was the mistake that ruined their lives.” I opened the bottle and managed to pour us all glasses.
“So, drinking seemed like the best fucking idea ever. It really did.”