12 #2
Butttttt they built this in with the press conference about Wilder leaving my mating contest. That the state of the temples was so bad that with food shortages here and help arriving, no on trusted they could be of use, so all of the Alphas were sending a Beta to help Joris and the candidates to inspect all the temples and get them back in working order.
And basically back in their lane. That was where the third part came in and it was all because of my bold leadership cutting out the corrupt elders and finding better ways to manage the problems of Thovudin that they were doing the same.
So they were going to take credit for my idea, but more importantly, the heat of it. And also make the point that Queen Rani’s generosity shouldn’t have to go through the schools when the temples shouldn’t be an issue and have food pantries. Extra points for that dig.
Also, that they were glad I was accepting her gift and looked forward to working with her family and people. They understood the importance of this gesture of friendship and promised not to disappoint Thovudin, nor their queen who made it all happen.
“And Wilder’s uncle is going to say it all?” I checked, getting that impression from what I’d heard.
“Yes, but all the Alphas are on the same page and will be available for comments after and have interviews basically ready to go,” Ayao told me.
“You know one at least is going to find a way to still shit on me like they took this off my overloaded plate and hopefully I’m grateful,” I grumbled, nodding when he just sighed. “What would you do?”
His head snapped in my direction so fast that I heard something pop… And then he tripped.
I grabbed him to try and keep him upright, but I think he thought I maybe had tripped on the same thing he had and it wasn’t just his shock? I wasn’t sure, but he sort of pushed my other arm as if trying to keep me upright.
Either way, it failed and we both went down. He grabbed me at the last second so he hit the ground and I landed on him instead.
“Idiot,” I grumbled as I pushed up and started checking him for injuries. We’d landed hard and had been running at a good pace. “Are you okay? I was trying to grab you to keep you from falling.”
“Please stop moving,” he bit out.
I froze and then slowly looked at him with wide eyes, realizing what I was feeling… And it was growing under my ass.
I yelped as I was plucked off of him, blinking into Onyx’s pretty green eyes. Ones that were equally full of annoyance and worry.
“Are you okay?” he checked.
“Yeah, fine,” I answered. “He tripped and I tried to grab him and…” I looked back at Ayao. “Are you okay?”
He held up a thumbs-up. “Just my pride got injured. All good.”
I snickered. “Want to finish the conversation at breakfast?”
“Very much so, and I appreciate you a lot, Your Majesty,” he muttered from behind his hand.
Even Onyx chuckled at that one.
I shook my head and nodded for everyone to carry on, getting the updates… And noticing some people had dropped off. Apparently, I ran too much for them.
Onyx muttered something when we were done and then I was being led away from the others and breakfast. I waved off my guards and people, not knowing what was going on but probably should have expected this.
He moved me into an alcove off the training grounds where no one would see us unless they looked and boxed me in against the stone wall. “What is going on? What happened?”
“Lots,” I mumbled. “Lots is always going on.”
“Bullshit, baby girl,” he pushed back, moving in closer. “Something happened with that Alpha meeting. You’re different. Talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
He let out a shaky breath. “But you can go to Thorn last night?” He chuffed when I flinched. “Why? Why him? I get Joris when you’re—but why Thorn? You don’t even seem to like him.”
I swallowed loudly and it took all the courage I had to meet his gaze. “Because I don’t care about him. I don’t care—it won’t hurt him.”
He searched my eyes, almost like he was trying to solve a math problem in front of him and I had just given him the pieces. “He’s not here for you but for your help to get his position of Alpha from his uncle.”
“I never said that,” I grumbled and pushed at his chest to move.
But he didn’t this time, licking his lips instead. “He wants you but not this. I’m not an idiot.”
I sighed. “I know you’re not, but we’re not talking light gossip here, Onyx, and I wouldn’t betray his trust any more than yours.”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, licking his lips again when he saw I was watching. “You want me too. Please, don’t shut me out like this. I know—talk to me.”
I put my hand on his chest even if he didn’t move, asking him to basically. “I’m trying not to hurt you.”
He moved away, but more as if I’d slapped him, not because he was letting me go. “You don’t think it hurts that you went to him instead of me? That I’m here begging you to let me in—to be with you, and you turn to someone else that you don’t even like?”
Fuck. Fuck, that was so fucking fair that I felt horrible. He lost his anger and I realized it was because I was crying, quickly wiping the tear away.
I swallowed loudly and met his gaze. “I can’t come after you anymore and that’s not fair to you, okay? I can’t. I’m sorry, but I—” My voice cracked and I went to flee, both of us knowing what I was referring to and how he needed someone who would care enough to go after him when he was upset.
I couldn’t be that person. Not after what I’d learned.
And Onyx deserved that in a partner.
He caught me and spun me to face him, kissing me as he cradled my face. He stopped when I didn’t respond and lowered his forehead to mine. “That’s my choice to make, Sagan. Please, please don’t make that choice for both of us. Don’t do that to me.”
Fuck! Now I was Benson basically. Wow, I really did suck.
“Maybe if parents loved us and we knew how to be people, not royal robot, we could have nice,” Eloise grumbled in my mind, Iris seeming to agree that the fault wasn’t ours. It wasn’t like I did it intentionally.
I was drowning.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I finally admitted. “I’m just trying to keep moving.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he whispered, sounding worried, and I realized I was shaking. It made me push at his chest. “No, I won’t let you go when I finally caught you and we’re talking.”
“Yeah, actually, you are going to fucking let her go when she’s shaking,” Ayao said, his voice full of anger. “You’re clearly not helping.”
“Stay out of this,” Onyx snapped.
“Said every abusive partner ever. I think Kole did too.”