Chapter Twenty-Three #3
“My cousin was groomed from an early age to be the Master of Pemberley.” Elizabeth listened for three quarters of an hour as the colonel lovingly shared anecdote after anecdote about a young Darcy and the mischief the two of them often created.
“Unfortunately, much of that carefree youthfulness left him at sixteen. My aunt, Lady Anne, never recovered from giving birth to Georgiana, and when the girl was but age four, Lady Anne passed. Darcy felt the loss deeply. He promised his mother on her deathbed to protect Georgiana. Filled with guilt, Lady Anne begged Darcy’s forgiveness for permitting the curse to continue—for plaguing him with such a blighted future—for permitting her weakness to ruin her son’s life.
It was the moment the epiphany came—the moment all those misgivings about his own sanity—about any deviation he might possess—became clear.
“Darcy’s life changed with her words. He was no longer free to consider a life every other man might choose.
There would be no wife— no children—no future.
Everything he did would be for Georgiana.
Shortly after that, he withdrew from Society as much as his duties would permit.
He thought only to provide Georgiana a passage into a world he would never know.
He swore on all that is holy, he would never bring a child of his own into this world.
For twelve years, he adhered to that promise, but then you entered his life. ” He cast Elizabeth a glance.
“I am confident my husband explained how we were caught in a compromising situation.” Elizabeth blushed with her admission.
“Mrs. Darcy, you fool only yourself if you believe your situation would have forced my cousin to do something he did not want to do. He could easily have thrown enough money at the debacle to make the rumors go away. You were not ruined in the worst sense. There was something more, and Darcy knew it.”
“Would you not consider, Colonel, the possibility Mr. Darcy married me simply to protect me from a danger he brought into my life?”
“I have no doubt Darcy pondered that fact when he first considered your union, but he could have protected you by simply withdrawing, taking Wickham’s interest with him.
Darcy married you because he saw hope for his life in your eyes.
With you, he knew some sort of unvarying viability.
” He leaned closer to say, “You should have seen Darcy’s hot-blooded reaction when my father questioned his motivation for marrying you.
Truthfully, Darcy’s reaction delighted my parents and me.
We watched him become more and more reticent.
Finally, Darcy became the passionate, although a bit selfish, man we all knew he could be if given a chance to love, and his family rejoiced for the possibilities. ”
His honesty disturbed her, and Elizabeth stood upon this proclamation.
“You provided me with much upon which to think. If you will excuse me, Sir, I will prepare for sleep.” She leaned in, as if to make a private remark.
“I will make you a proper pallet before the fire if you provide me a few extra minutes.”
“With pleasure, my dear.”
Thirty minutes later, the colonel slipped into their room, and Elizabeth burrowed under the blankets.
Only the fire in the hearth provided light.
She had moved the furniture to build a wall between them—to maintain privacy.
Although she did not look upon him, she knew he undressed.
At length, he wrapped himself in the blankets and nestled into the makeshift bed.
“We will leave early tomorrow. I told Mr. Peters to be prepared by seven.” He spoke to the darkness surrounding them.
Elizabeth pushed herself up on one arm. “Colonel, will we arrive in time to assist William?” It was the question for which she wished no answer, but one she could not deny.
“I assuredly hope so, Elizabeth, for I fear Darcy’s recklessness could have dire consequences otherwise.” She sucked in a steadying breath. Attempting to change the serious atmosphere, he teased, “Mrs. Darcy, are there others like you in Hertfordshire?”
Elizabeth relaxed into the bed, recognizing the ploy. “Your cousin thinks I am unique—more adventurous than the proper young ladies of the ton.”
“Then I dare say, Darcy chose the best of the litter.” With that, he pulled the blankets around his ears to claim sleep.
Four hours north of where they slept, Darcy settled onto a lumpy mattress in an attic room of a cheap country inn.
He had ridden across back roads most of the day, angling his way from the westernmost part of Derbyshire towards the Lake District and then still north and east. As he forced sleep to his exhausted frame, he imagined the sweet countenance of Elizabeth on the day of the snowstorm when she told him she loved him.
Because I did not have the opportunity to tell my husband I am completely and hopelessly in love with him.
“Ah, Elizabeth,” he whispered. Within a few days, she would be free of him forever.