Chapter 16 To Live #2
Luci reached for his hand and pressed two fingers to the corner of his wrist below his thumb. His heartbeat was faster than it should have been. She closed her eyes, counting. Ninety-two.
“Your heart is beating too fast,” she said as she leaned up on her toes to check his pupils.
“Is it?” he asked.
“Mmhm.” She murmured. “And your pupils are dilated.”
“Is that bad?” he asked.
Running the back of her hand over his forehead and his cheeks, she frowned.
“Your cheeks are flushed,” she said.
“Indeed.”
The words held a weight to them she didn’t expect, and when she took a moment to cease her inspection of him, she found his eyes locked on hers.
The forest in them was teaming with life, and at the corners to the right, flecks of gold gathered.
Almost like he was made of magic himself, and maybe he was.
After all, he was descended from a fairytale.
It made sense that some lived in his bloodline.
“How do you feel?” Luci asked, placing her hand over his chest where his heart pounded.
The beats were too fast, but they were steady. Sometimes, elixirs interacted with individuals in such a way that they would send their hearts into chaotic patterns.
“My head feels a bit fuzzy,” he whispered.
Luci nodded. She didn’t have time to worry about the fact that she might have killed the prince a second time.
Worst, she was confident in her work. All the ingredients combined with what Noah already used for his recovery when exposed to the allergens– it should have been just enough to prevent them.
Yet there was no way to calculate how an individual would react to each potion.
“I should go find Noah,” Luci said, pulling away.
“No,” Prince Ira said, grabbing her hand and placing it over his chest once more. “I’m fine, I just need a minute.”
Luci looked up at him, and his eyes were closed while he took a few deep breaths.
She barely dared to take a breath of her own.
He was lovely. His jaw was soft, and there were lines at the corners of each eye and his mouth.
No doubt earned from a lifetime of smiles and laughter.
A whisper of darkness clung over his lower face, the start of a beard.
It would look strange on him, making his youthful and jovial nature seem more rugged.
“There. All better,” he said.
His eyes opened, and when he caught her looking at him, the side of his mouth quirked up, dimples in tow. Cursing herself at being caught, she refused to pull her hand away from him, even though his was still covering her own. His heart still beat quickly, but it was now at a more acceptable rate.
Pulling away her hand, he held it just a moment before releasing her. Probably residual anxiety from the elixir. It burned over her where he touched her, and she hated everything about it. There were some things that could not even be allowed to be thoughts. This was one of them.
“It was probably the rose petals. I’ll use less next time,” she said, rubbing her hands together.
Prince Ira watched her, and where she was used to seeing amusement, he merely nodded, swallowing.
“Is Brielle–” Luci tried.
He nodded. “Waiting for you. She asked me to find you.”
All unease stripped from her, she glared at the prince.
“And you waited to tell me this till now?”
He shrugged. “I got distracted.”
Rolling her eyes, Luci murmured a few choice words under her breath and stalked off. Better to put distance between her and the prince in case he succumbed to the elixir after all. Of all the things she was likely to get hung for, this seemed low on the list.
Luckily, Prince Ira had the good sense not to follow her. Not having to deal with him was probably why her heart beat settled by the time she reached her and Brielle’s rooms.
The moment she entered, the smell of lavender wafted through her. Brielle.
The room was large enough to house a small army. A canopied bed sat at the center, and it was at least three lengths of her long. Why anyone would need that much room in a bed was beyond her, but goodness knew it was comfortable.
The best part of the room wasn’t the massive fireplace to the east, but the floor-to-ceiling window panes at the furthest part. A sitting area was built into them so you could perfectly press yourself against the glass and feel like you were a part of the gardens beneath.
Of course, that would be where Brielle was.
Hair freshly washed, hence the lavender smell.
Calcifer was curled up in her lap while she stared out over the moonlit ground beneath.
She was ethereal, with blond hair cascading down her shoulders.
The moon sang for her pale skin, and if there was a fairytale about a moon princess, it would have been Brielle.
“Are you avoiding me?” Brielle asked.
Luci jumped, having been fully caught spying. She should have known Brielle was aware of her. She was always uniquely perceptive.
“Why would you ask that?” Luci asked, stepping into the darkened room. Not even a lantern lit. Like Brielle was communing with the moon and stars.
Turning from her reverie, Brielle’s smile had a heavy tinge of sadness to it. There was no smile that was there earlier in the day.
“Sit with me?” she asked.
She could never deny her a single thing.
Maybe the reason Noah didn’t make her heart leap was that she already found the love of her life.
There was no desire involved in the love they shared, but what it was transcended even that.
Luci knew Brielle’s soul better than she knew herself.
Crowded street, half dead, delirious, she could find her anywhere.
When Brielle’s heart beat, Luci’s answered.
“When you live for someone else, you lose everything you are in the process.”
The problem with that is that Luci never wanted for anything else.
Brielle was always enough, and she always would be, even when she stopped needing her.
Even when she married her prince and became queen of this land, Luci would still serve her.
If that meant not being here, then so be it.
She would become whatever Brielle asked of her.
In every way that counted, Brielle had saved Luci. That was not a debt easily repaid.
Her friend watched her while she scooted up onto the windowsill bench across from her. Calcifer didn’t bother to lift his orange head while he rumbled with the happiest of purrs. Brielle’s hand trailed over her smoothed back fur absent-mindedly.
“I’ve barely seen you. You are always hiding away in the infirmary with Noah. Today, I know you don’t like croquet, but you seemed like you were having fun. You and Ira– well, you just left suddenly.”
Guilt trailed down Luci’s throat and into her stomach.
“I didn’t want to keep you from enjoying yourself. You are made for this world, Brielle.” Luci whispered.
Her eyes widened a fraction before her pink lips pulled up, her shoulders dropping.
“For someone so smart, you really can be obtuse sometimes,” she teased.
If Luci’s soul weren’t in a turmoil more severe than Hansel and Gretel’s in the Witches’ cottage, she might have smiled back. However, the world was too heavy, and truths were horrifying.
Brielle leaned forward, reaching her hand. Turmoil or not, Luci would answer that call from the other side of the world. She took her hand in hers and squeezed, knowing that this was what mattered. Not potions, princes, or quests. Just Brielle’s hand in hers.
“I was happy today because you were there. After you left– well, I was worried, but I thought maybe you were upset about my agreeing with Ira to call him by his name. I didn’t mean to make you–”
“It wasn’t that.” Luci swallowed.
There was a ringing in her ears that reminded her there were no secrets between her and Brielle.
Yet it was nearly a week of this secret burning into Luci like a hot iron.
Once she said the words, there would be no going back.
There would be a moment between when the last word left Luci’s lips and when Brielle processed them.
That small moment would live forever ingrained in Luci’s mind, and she wouldn’t be able to hide from it anymore.
“I need to tell you something-”
“I need to tell you something-”
The words echoed off each other, and despite the pressure of the tension living in Luci’s neck, she laughed. Brielle joined in, and for a moment, they both forgot. There was peace. It was born only to break.
“You go first,” Brielle said, her laugh trailing off.
All of a sudden, Luci would have preferred the ground open and swallow her whole. Luci was many things, but she wasn’t a coward yet.
“Your father said something to me-”
Luci held up her hand, stilling Brielle’s protest from her open mouth.
“It’s all right. He was right. Seeing you laughing and happy today, Brielle, you’ve never looked so beautiful. It’s like you’ve come to life. There’s more color in your cheeks, you are laughing, you haven’t had one bad spell,” she confessed.
To her surprise, Brielle didn’t try to argue the truth of it, but the way her mouth curved up to the right was as familiar to me as my own breath. She was hiding something.
Even still, there was no turning back now.
“Before the ball, before you got sick. Your father told me that I wasn’t the cure for you. I was the symptom.”
It was a miracle the words escaped her throat at all, with how thick they were and how bitter they tasted.
The smile fell from Brielle’s face, and even beneath the moonlight, the color drained from her face. Shaking her head, she gently pushed off Calcifer, who plopped onto the floor with an indignant huff of breath. Brielle sat on her knees and took Luci’s hands in hers, tears welling in her eyes.
“Luci, no, he shouldn’t have ever said that. He’s never understood, and he’s wrong,” she said. “You are the other half of my heart. There is no life for me without you in it.”
“You have the prince now,” Luci said, fighting not to fall apart.