Chapter 27 Two Beds #2
“Jumping into unknown waters will always be scary and of course, you may sink, but darling, what if it feels like flying and you find out something new about yourself you would have never known otherwise?”
If Luci had been lucky to have a grandmother, she would have liked her to be exactly like Agnes.
The way she let silence hold them, but said just the right thing at the right time.
The truth was, Luci had a choice to make.
She didn’t have to make it tonight, but she could take the first steps toward it.
Maybe she wasn’t a princess meant to be swept off her feet in one night.
Maybe her head would always be too full of thoughts and restraints to jump in, but she could dip her toes in.
“Brielle always says this thing when I am struggling,” Luci said, wiping at her tears. “We can do hard things.”
Agnes' eyes were red-rimmed, and her lip quivered a little as she watched Luci stand. Holding out her hands to Luci, she stood in front of her.
“Allowing someone to love us and see us for all our imperfections will always be the hardest thing, but Lucinda, my dear, you are worthy of a great love. You can do hard things.”
She’d already gone on a quest and retrieved a magic flower while also meeting an actual fairy godmother. Yet somehow, that all seemed a lot easier than letting someone in.
“When is the part where I don’t feel scared anymore?” Luci asked.
Agnes shrugged and pulled a small hoard of cosmetics from her apron.
“Goodness knows, but a little charcoal and color couldn’t hurt, right?”
Goodness knew indeed.
Step by step, Luci found herself a little closer to what was undoubtedly a terrible idea.
Agnes might have been a witch for the way she conjured Luci from a dusty servant to the woman she just saw in the mirror.
After riding for a day and a half, her skin was tanned and complemented the deep blue of the dress.
Her face, which was usually plain, was brighter, the charcoal accenting her eyes to make them a bluish green.
Music, laughter, and conversation floated from the dining room, and a sudden roll of her stomach made her stop in her tracks. This was silly. They were stuck here till morning, but she should be sleeping,
Before she could turn around, the scent of cinnamon drifted, and a small smile found its way onto her lips.
“You are very pushy,” she murmured to the air.
In answer, the smell intensified, gathering to the point of nausea and burning her nose.
As if Elowen was shouting at her. Only one fairy godmother left, and she was a very opinionated one.
Though she didn’t seem fond of the Vencia line, she clearly liked Ira enough to push Luci down the stairs towards him.
This was a terrible idea.
But she could do hard things.
She could always change her mind.
Some chances were worth taking.
Hardly recognizing herself, Luci made her way to the dining room and paused to take in the sight, leaning against the wooden frame and resting her head, careful not to mess the braids that were tied into the side of her hair and pulled back together.
Midnight knew Agnes would throw a fit after all her efforts.
She easily found Ira in fresh clothes and still slightly damp hair, sitting in front of the fireplace, talking animatedly with Cochran, who petted Calcifer while he listened with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.
Goodness only knew what Ira was telling him.
There was a life to him that was unlike anyone she knew.
Like he wasn’t scared of anything. Despite the weight of a crown, he didn’t mind what people thought of him.
He lived every day like it was his last and smiled like the world was still full of magic.
Brave and kind, loyal. Willing to keep a promise despite the beat of his heart.
Luci might talk about his arrogance, but the truth was it was more than that.
It was a vitality and love of living that propelled him forward.
In many ways, he was everything she wasn’t.
Bold, loud, courageous, easy-going. He didn’t have to calculate every pro and con.
He simply made the next choice without fear of what came next.
Despite the loud music and the crowded room, despite his storytelling, he turned his gaze to her, and the second he saw her, his mouth stopped moving.
Instead, he stared like they were the only two people in the world.
Her heart raced wildly in her chest beneath the weight of his gaze.
How could two very different people be matching pieces?
He stood and gave Calcifer a last ear scratch before ruffling the top of Cochran’s bushy hair. Calcifer didn’t notice in the least and instead flipped over on his back and spread his legs in a long stretch like he was roasting himself over the fire. Content beyond words.
Luci worked very hard to remember how to breathe as Ira came towards her, weaving through tables like a maze. Just before reaching her, he let loose a violent sneeze, and sure enough, his nose was red.
“Will you never learn?” Luci asked.
“You look beautiful,” Ira said.
She might as well have said nothing with the way he ignored her words. It was hard to be mad at him when he was looking at her like that, though. Like she was all he ever needed. After a moment of her not responding like an idiot, he dipped his head and cleared his throat.
"Agnes left some food for you if you are hungry."
“I am,” she whispered because talking was hard.
She followed him through the maze and took her seat before a plate of roast chicken, potatoes, and carrots. A glass of ruby red wine beside it. Thank goodness for Agnes.
Luci wasted no time and downed the first cup of wine without any thought of consequences. All she knew was never in her life did she need wine as much as she did in that moment. When she finished, she set it down and took in a long steadying breath.
“Lucinda, you don’t have to be here if you don’t want to. Take your food upstairs and rest, or if you prefer, I can let you be while you're down here,” he said quietly.
“I want to be here,” she said too quickly and forced herself to meet his gaze. “I want to be here with you.”
His jaw relaxed, and it was clear he was relieved by her answer in the way his mouth softened, and he leaned back in his chair, a little tension falling from his shoulders.
“You can change your mind,” he said.
“I know,” she said.
And it was true. She knew he wouldn’t hold it against her or fault her for it. Just like before, that sense of security wrapped around her, and she settled a little more into her chair. She could do hard things, and she could change her mind.
“So does the whole town know who you are now?” she asked.
He chuckled and ran a hand over his freshly shaved face, a hint of mint drawing across the table.
His black shirt was loose over his chest, but more snug around his arms, and the contrast with his brown hair was- he looked good.
Like a prince from a storybook. It made her stomach flip-flop like a fish in a desperate search for water.
“Just Agnes for now, but the night is still young,” he said.
Luci took a bite of chicken that was seasoned just right and closed her eyes, letting the flavors explode in her mouth.
“She might make the best food I’ve ever had,” she said, opening her eyes.
Mouth slightly open, Ira swallowed hard before blinking rapidly.
“Maybe I can convince her to give up the inn and move to the capital,” he said.
Luci rolled her eyes. “You are capable of many things, but not that.”
A hint of a dimple. “So you think I’m capable?”
“Are you so starved for compliments that you hear them in simple statements?”
“Only from you,” he said, smile growing. “Sometimes I’m not sure if you like me or want to flay me alive.”
Luci shrugged. “Probably a little of both.”
His laugh settled over her, whispering that one word. Safe.
“Thank you for sending Agnes up,” she said.
He nodded, solemness in the way he scratched at his chin and jaw.
“I thought you might need a friend,” he said.
“I did,” she replied.
He was patient with her while she ate and even left to get them both wine for a minute, but the need to tell him he wasn’t a burden grew with every glance he threw her way, worry in his soft green eyes.
If she was afraid, then he was too, but for very different reasons.
When he returned with her third and absolutely final glass of wine, she made up her mind.
“I’m not afraid of you,” she said, pushing her empty plate to the side.
He raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”
This time, she saw through the joking question to the muscle flickering in his jaw and the tightness in the fist he rested his head on. He was worried. Hiding behind humor.
“It’s not you I’m afraid of. I’ve only ever had one person.
Even the staff at Blythe- they know me for what I am to Brielle.
I get along with them fine, but I was very young when my mother died.
I don’t remember anything about her, really.
I think she loved me, but all I remember of the time was being hungry and cold.
The next memories I have are of finding Brielle and feeling safe.
Like I’d found my other half. What I’m trying to say is I’m not good at letting people in. It’s not easy for me.”
The more she spoke, the more Ira relaxed, like he was holding onto every word and grateful for each small morsel she gave. He deserved more than her excuses, but it was all she had on a full stomach and two glasses of wine.
After what felt like an hour where she thought for sure she said the wrong thing, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and setting his chin onto his fists. The way his eyes cut into her was like lightning striking, igniting her body in ways she’d only ever imagined.
“Lucinda,” he said slowly.
She swallowed hard. “Yes?”