Chapter 5
EVE
Spending time with Maddox in his home helped me to see under all that gruffness. I had a feeling it was masking grief.
I'd let his daughter win me over, but I couldn't forget that Maddox hadn't wanted to help me with the parade. He wanted nothing to do with me. This was something we had to do together, but when it was over, we could go our separate ways.
"Is there anything else we need to go over tonight? I need to get Sofia ready for bed."
"The main thing I needed is the guest count. I can handle everything else." There was no need for any more dinners at his home where his daughter charmed me with her sweet words and paintings. I was crazy for offering to spend more time with him.
All I wanted to do was escape back to my solitary life.
I shouldn't be offering to help Maddox with anything. I'd already done enough for him. I didn't need a fake boyfriend in my life. I'd just fall for his little girl, and then what? I'd be forced to walk away later. It was a ridiculous idea, and I didn't owe him anything else.
The fire department trucks would be in the parade, and they'd get their holiday party. We were even.
"I appreciate you going along with Frank's crazy idea for us to go to the dance together. Do you want me to pick you up?"
I wanted to create distance between us. I'd gotten too close too fast, and I didn't need a grump in my life. I prided myself on always being positive, willing to grow and learn, to adapt when I needed to.
Maddox was stuck in the past, and I wasn't going to be the one to pull him out of it. He had to do that on his own. "I have to make sure the party is running smoothly, so I'll meet you there."
It was the perfect excuse to treat this less like a date. "Drop Sofia off around one that day, and we'll take care of her. She'll be a princess in time for the party."
Maddox nodded. Then he called, "Sofia. Miss Eve is leaving."
The TV clicked off, and she came running down the hall, wrapping her arms around my waist. I wasn't expecting a hug. Maybe a reluctant wave but not this.
She hugged me tight, and I brought my arms around her back.
She pulled back. "We have to go over the desserts?"
"Why don't you meet me at Sweet Dreams, and I can show you what I was thinking, and you can taste the various options?" I was supposed to be creating distance with these two, but I couldn't seem to resist Sofia. This would be fun, and she needed more of that in her life.
"Can I go, Daddy?"
Maddox cleared his throat. "If you don't mind."
I smiled at Sofia. "Dessert is the most important part of any party."
Sofia's eyes lit up, and I wanted to keep making her do that. "I can set something up with Reina. She owns the bakery."
Sofia was vibrating with excitement.
I felt a connection to her since she'd lost her mother, even if it happened at different times in our lives. "Good night, you two. Thanks for your help."
"Sofia, go upstairs and get your pajamas on. I'll be up in a minute."
"Okay," Sofia said, running off.
I wondered if he'd tell me not to get close to him or his daughter. Like I needed the reminder.
"I'll walk you out," Maddox said.
We walked the few steps to my SUV, which was parked in the driveway. "I can pick her up and take her to the tasting appointment if you're too busy to do it."
He rocked back on his heels. "It's not that."
"I overstepped. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told her about tasting desserts at Sweet Dreams. I just got excited and thought it would be fun." When he didn't respond, I continued, "She lost her mother, and I did too. It feels like we connected."
He finally nodded. "Let me know when you're able to schedule it, and I'll make sure she's there. I'll get her there."
I took a chance and squeezed his arm. "She's going to have fun."
"She hasn't had much to look forward to lately. I worry that even Christmas is a negative time for her because her mother can't be here."
I swallowed over the lump in my throat. "It can be a tough time of year. I'm happy to give her something to look forward to."
"Drive safe."
"Thanks for dinner, Maddox. It was good, and so was the company." I spent most evenings working alone in my cottage. Now I saw how other people lived with home cooked meals and the laughter of a child. Maddox had a warm, inviting home filled with love.
"Good night, Eve." He closed the door and stepped back.
I put the SUV in Reverse and backed out. I didn't look back. The grumpy firefighter and his daughter were getting to me. I hadn't expected to feel so much just from one dinner.
No more intimate meals or in-person planning sessions at his house. I could handle his daughter, but her father was out of the question.
He wasn't looking for someone to date, and I shouldn't want to be the woman who pulled him out of his funk.
I wasn't going to fall for a challenge. I'd connected with the daughter because of our shared loss, and that was it. We weren't meant to be in each other's lives for any other reason.
It was all about Sofia and the fire department. Maddox was just the link between the fire department and the town. After the parade and the party were over, I wouldn't need him anymore.
I'd see him and his daughter in passing, but I wouldn't be close to them. It was for the best. Maddox was incapable of even being a good friend right now, much less anything more.
I felt a little crazy as I pulled up to my cottage.
Inside, I got out my tablet and got to work on everything we'd discussed.
The best way to ignore something was to work harder.
There was always something to do. And with Natasha focused on the renovations at the inn, I needed to be on top of the events for the town.
This was my job, and everyone was depending on me. The pressure should have been crushing, but I thrived on it. I'd make the town a success, and we'd get more reservations at the inn than we could handle. Everything would be fine.
This was our dream, and we were going to make it a success. I could do that much for my older sister, who'd always looked out for me.
Natasha thought she needed to be more than just a sister since our parents passed, but that wasn't necessary. I could handle everything just fine.
An hour later, I got a text.
Maddox: Thanks again for helping me with the planning. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Eve: No worries. I love this stuff.
I kept repeating the mantra to myself. I needed distance. No cute texts or follow-up jokes. Nope. It was all business from now on. I wouldn't let Maddox's grumpiness or his daughter's sweet ways sway me.
I was a professional. I could handle this.
Maddox: I still want to help. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Even if it's just moving tables and chairs.
Eve: We have staff for that. We host one of these parties every week. Don't worry about anything. I have it covered.
I'd keep him apprised of the situation. He'd get busy with work and leave it to me. It was easier this way.
Maddox: If you're sure.
Eve: 100%
When he didn't respond, I let out a sigh of relief.
It was easier to push people away. I didn't want to get too close to anyone.
I hadn't been dating like Natasha had when our parents died.
He'd essentially broken up with her because he couldn't handle the situation.
It wasn't just that people left and let you down.
It was better if I just handled everything.
I could count on myself. I didn't want to be disappointed.
Maddox had shown me who he was, and I shouldn't want to help him beyond hosting the department's annual holiday party. This was a job, nothing more.
I shouldn't care that his daughter was sweet and sad. Or that he was grumpy and unsure about everything. I wouldn't let them get to me.
I turned over my phone and got back to work. This I could handle. It wasn't confusing.
A few hours later, I rubbed my eyes. My contacts were dry. I needed to take them out for the night, and I should grab a few hours of sleep before I went into work. I wanted to be ready for any concerns or issues that might pop up tomorrow.
I needed to plan the department's holiday party and avoid the hot, single dad firefighter. He was grouchy for good reason, and he wasn't looking for anything.
I knew what he was going through, and I should be sympathetic to his grief. But at the same time, I had to protect myself.
It was easier to be alone. No one would disappoint you or disappear from your life. When we bought this property, we knew we'd be busy. Too busy to start new relationships or pursue anything outside of work.
I was holding up my side of the bargain. This town was too important for me to get distracted by a brooding man or his sweet daughter.
Too many people were depending on me. The shop and restaurant owners, Natasha, and even the recipients of the toy drive we were running.
We couldn't afford to hire anyone to do the work for us. That meant long hours in the office, and at home, for me. But if it meant taking something off of Natasha's plate then it was worth it. She was always taking care of me, and now it was my turn to ease some of her burden.
Just because she was the elder sister didn't mean that she needed to bear the brunt of our parents' death or even the responsibility of our new venture.
I'd prove that I was up for the task, and that she could count on me.
When I finally slipped into bed, my head was filled with images of Maddox in his kitchen, cooking and eating at the table. Talking to his daughter. It was a sweet scene, something I hadn't ever been a part of, or at least not since my parents died.
Now it was just me and my sister, and my heart ached for all I'd lost. For what Sofia had lost. They had a lovely life together, and I didn't fit into it.
As I tossed and turned, I convinced myself that Maddox reminded me of everything I'd lost. It wasn't that I longed to be in his kitchen or his house. I admired what he'd gone through and how he was handling it, even if his boss worried he wasn't doing enough.
He was surviving, and that was all that could be expected in times of grief. I'd buried myself in work to avoid feeling too much.
Maybe Maddox was dealing with his feelings, and I wasn't. He was further along in his journey, whereas I was stuck. I kept telling myself I'd deal with everything after the business was successful. When Christmas Town became a primo destination spot for locals and tourists.
But what if that never happened? What if I never had success? What then? Did I ignore my feelings? Bury them deep so I didn't have to deal with them?
I couldn’t handle those questions, which made sleep elusive. Tomorrow, I'd work harder, so hard that I'd pass out at the end of the night.
But I wouldn't think about Maddox and Sofia or what they'd been through. He was my contact with the fire department. Nothing more.