Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
SIENNA
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I felt bad enough that I’d accidentally left August to fend for himself yesterday afternoon, and now I was running into town to have coffee with Grams while Bronwyn and Haven took August under their wing working with the horses.
“Of course.” He smiled and my lips automatically curved in response, August just had that effect. “I’m sure Tea is just dying to see me anyway,” he teased and for some reason the comment had me smiling all the way to the rental still parked over at Lilac house, where Wyn met up with August.
The truck rumbled to life and I waved to August and Wyn as I pulled out of the drive and back onto the dirt road we’d first taken into the ranch. Instead of heading left, back in the direction of the airport, I signalled right for the short drive into town.
Lisette lived off of Main Street, but we were meeting at the coffee shop so I headed straight there and pulled up to the curb a few blocks away.
It was strange being in Lavender Creek, it was the complete opposite to living in the city.
There, walking down the street felt too exposed, busy and overwhelming — especially if Cade wasn't there. But here… there was room to breathe. People nodded, smiled, told me good morning. I didn’t get stopped for pictures or autographs.
I was just part of the scenery, and it was the safest feeling in the world.
There were plenty of good things about fame and it came with a huge amount of privilege, but a lot of the time it was also stifling.
A bell rang cheerfully when I pushed open the mint-green door of Coffee Cove and the fresh smell of coffee beans hit me, making my mouth water as I spotted Grams in a cozy nook by the window.
She had our lattes waiting already, Coffee Cove’s speciality was their lavender latte and I could spot its signature purple color in our mugs even from the doorway.
Lisette stood when I got close, wrapping me in a hug that was warm and smelled somehow like powdered sugar. I squeezed gently before taking my seat.
“How’re things going, honey?”
Her smile was one of the first things that had put me at ease when we’d first met. It was large and made the corners of her eyes wrinkle in the way a real smile should, with a side of mischief that instantly made you feel like you were in on whatever the joke was.
I took a sip of the steaming coffee and didn’t even mind when I burned my tongue because it tasted so damn good.
Lightly floral, smooth and creamy. I licked my lips and replaced the mug in front of me.
“The ranch is good, August is spending the day helping Wyn and Haven and Muffin is loving all the field mice around to hunt.”
Grams chuckled, those blue eyes of hers narrowing in on me with laser focus. “You know I wasn’t asking about the ranch, Sienna. How are you? You’re holed up in that house with that hunky athlete—”
I shuddered. “Grams, please. Don’t ever say hunky again.”
She laughed and I cracked a smile too, sipping my coffee while I debated how much I wanted to tell her.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, I just didn’t want to worry her.
Plus, being open with my feelings didn’t come easily.
When I was young I’d been surrounded by literal rockstars who didn’t want to hear a kid whining, and my dad hadn’t been anyone’s definition of ‘emotionally available’.
I’d learned to keep what I felt to myself, deal with my problems instead of wallowing about them, and never, under any circumstances, let them see you cry.
It was a mentality I’d had a hard time shaking.
“I’m okay,” I said automatically and then winced when Lisette raised an eyebrow. “I am, now that I’m here.” I briefly recapped what I hadn’t had the chance to tell her before about the label and the deal I’d made with August which had culminated in our trip to Canada.
When I was done, Grams leaned back in her chair, eyes shining suspiciously bright. Never let them see you cry, Si. I blinked away the memory, still feeling the ghost of my dad’s hand under my chin as he’d wiped my tears away.
Thankfully, Lisette took control of her emotions, saving me from any awkward attempts at comforting her — another thing I hadn’t learned to do, thanks to my upbringing.
Tears made me uncomfortable, but it was something I’d been actively working on in therapy before I’d fled to Lavender Creek.
I didn’t want to be like my dad. Though of course he hadn’t said the things he had out of maliciousness, but they’d hurt me in the end anyway.
“My strong girl,” she said, cupping my cheek with one hand and patting it lightly before pulling away and sniffing loudly. “I’m glad you’re here. You did the right thing leaving that mess behind.”
“I’ll have to deal with it eventually,” I murmured and Grams’ gaze sharpened.
“Says who? This is a private, family matter. You owe those vultures nothing, you hear me? Nothing.” The fierce, protective edge Grams had never failed to surprise me, but she’d been this way since the very beginning.
Taking me under her wing, like she could tell I was emotionally-starved and strong in all the ways I shouldn’t have to have been.
But hearing her say the words brought a sense of relief that had me easing out a long breath.
I hadn’t realized how much the thought of making a statement, or an appearance, or just returning to the city in general, had been weighing on me until she’d given me the approval I hadn’t known I’d needed.
“Is it wrong that I don’t want to go back? ”
She patted my hand and I knew I’d surprised her when I curled my fingers around hers, holding on tightly. “Sweetie, you know what I think. I’ve been telling you for years that you should leave that life behind if it doesn’t make you happy. Your daddy would have wanted that, I’m sure.”
Would he? I’d like to think he’d have wanted whatever was best for me, but his track record in that department wasn’t great.
“I like it here,” I said tentatively, a little desperately, and she smiled.
“Then it sounds like you have your answer. For now, at least. Nothing’s forever, Sienna — not unless you make it be.”
My laughter rang between us, a little rusty. “You’ve been eating fortune cookies again, haven’t you.”
Lisette hid her face behind her mug as she took a gulp of latte, but I could see her eyes crinkling at the corners behind the ceramic and knew she had to be smiling.
“So,” she said when she lowered the mug, and I knew exactly what was coming just from the look on her face. “Tell me more about you and August.”
The door to the house closed quietly and Muffin barely stirred from her place flopped against the sofa cushions.
“I brought back pizza,” I called to August as he walked through the door, and he smiled when he poked his head around the doorway. “It’s in the kitchen. Hope you like a meat feast.”
“Sounds great, thank you.”
His footsteps receded and my gaze lowered back to the guitar slung across my lap.
I’d left it in Lavender Creek the last time I’d visited and now it was horribly out of tune.
I hadn’t even had the chance to play it since I’d gotten home from coffee with Grams, instead I’d spent the past half-hour tuning the thing by ear and wincing when it fell out of tune again within a few strums.
The main problem was that the temperature fluctuations out here in the big houses was a lot more drastic than in my apartment in New York, and that wreaked havoc on a guitar.
The strings seemed to finally have settled though and I relaxed into the comfortable rhythm of one of my dad’s songs.
I didn’t sing, just let the music flow through my fingers with a familiarity that was as easy as breathing.
A creak in the hall let me know August was on his way back to see me, but I didn’t pause my playing and instead moved into the more complicated picking part of the guitar melody.
Maybe it was just me, but sometimes I preferred the more stripped back version of my dad’s music.
It felt raw, like I could reach out and taste the notes.
My fingers throbbed as the strings slid beneath my fingers, making me shiver as I transitioned into a new song. The opening chords made my throat tighten and for a second my hand faltered, hesitating between one fret and the next as emotion rose up in a wave that threatened to drown me.
I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I’d nearly forgotten August’s presence when his deep voice rumbled out the first line. The husky timbre of his voice loosened my muscles, their vibration wrapping around me until we were in a safe cocoon that let my voice crawl free.
The words were a rasp at first, barely scraping over my tongue from behind my teeth, but eventually we sang together, the darker tones of August’s voice complementing mine. I hadn’t sang this song as a duet since my dad had… since he’d left me.
My cheeks were wet by the end of the second verse and I was sobbing by the first line of the chorus.
Arms closed around me, holding me tightly, like August was trying to keep the pieces of me together through sheer pressure alone.
The neck of the guitar slipped and then strong arms were lifting it away, setting it down carefully as my body bent in on itself until my face cushioned on a solid warmth — August’s chest.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured, the words vibrating through my skin from his proximity. “You can let go, sweetheart. I’m here.”
I pulled away, blinking through the blur of water in my eyes and wrinkling my nose at the large wet patch I’d left on August’s flannel shirt. “You can’t say that to me.”
“Say what?” His dark brows came together and hurt sparked in the depths of his eyes.
“That you’re here. That this, whatever this is between us, is going to keep you around for longer than the next week or so until our contract is done.
” I shook my head and swallowed the rest of my words down before taking a deep breath and avoiding his gaze.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m grateful that you came here with me, you don’t owe me anything and you told me before that I’m not what you’re looking for and—”
Fingertips burned the underside of my chin, lifting my jaw, as a hot mouth crashed down onto mine and cut off my words.
My lips parted on a breath and August dove in, taunting my tongue with his, biting my lower lip and sucking on it when I groaned.
I pushed closer, needing more, drugged on the way he tasted in my mouth and the sound of his breath panting alongside mine until he pulled away slowly.
The space between us was filled with heat and I could feel my pulse in my lips from the force of his kisses. I wasn’t sure when I’d reached for him, but one hand was twined in his hair and the other was against his cheek, the harshness of his stubble bringing me back to reality.
August smirked, his eyes warm pools of affection as he kissed the tip of my nose and stood to walk away. “I hope that clears things up for you.”
My mouth fell open but I could only stare at him. Clear things up? Not even slightly. I clenched my jaw as I roughly wiped away the last of the moisture on my face and stood to stomp after him. “Are you serious?”
He glanced at me, slice of pizza in hand. “Sorry, I thought this was for the both of us.”
“It is.”
“Great.” He took a bite, munching happily as if he hadn’t just turned me on, wrecked me emotionally, and then left me high and dry in favor of cheesy bread and sauce.
“Not great. Don’t do that again. If you’re going to kiss me—” I shook my head, there shouldn’t be any kissing happening at all. “Well, just don’t. I don’t need another man in my life making empty promises he won’t keep.”
The pizza wilted in August’s hand as he stared at me, open-mouthed, until I turned and walked away, only to be caught within three steps.
August was breathing hard, color flushed in his cheeks as he pressed my body into the wall beside the staircase.
When he kissed me, it was rough, angry, and yet infinitely tender.
Our breaths combined as he pulled back just enough to look into my eyes.
“I’ve never made a promise I haven’t kept, Sienna. ”
He let me go and my walls wavered, fragile in the face of his searing gaze and husky words. So I did the only thing I could — I ran.