CHAPTER TEN
EILISH
The Mountain Path
Dry, frigid air burns my lungs as we trek through the obsidian stones that lead to the mountain path. Pyre grows weaker with every step, and I struggle to hold both his weight and my own. My boots crush the snow and ash that accumulates across the mucky earth beneath my feet. Clumps of frozen water trickle from the sky, melting in my hair and slithering down the back of my tunic. The path slowly begins to curve around the mountain. It’s so much like the place from my dreams…
“Something troubling you?” Pyre asks with a hoarse cough.
“My memory is returning.”
He gives me a look of surprise. “Anything worth mentioning?”
“I think so.” I stare up at the dark sky above us and sigh. “The reason I asked about the incubus is because I’ve been having these dreams... memories maybe?”
“Like what?”
“Like a mountain similar to this one,” I say as I look up at the mountain in question, before I glance back at Pyre. “And a hovel beside a frozen pond. Inside the shack, it’s warm. I remember having a mother and a sister, but nothing more about them. My mother asked me if I’d gone to the city again and she seemed nervous about it,” I continued.
“Is that the only dream that visits you?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve received what I thought were visions but now I wonder if they were really memories that visited me as dreams.”
“Could be.”
I nod as I look up at him and admire his strong jaw and his Roman nose. “I believe I was there when Baron, Cambion, Dragan, and Variant had their coronations. I can see it as clearly now as if it were yesterday. At first I just thought I was channeling a vision of the past, but now I believe it was my vision of the past.”
“Tell me of the other visions you’ve seen?”
I nod. “I had a vision when Cambion touched me. And in the vision, we were…” My cheeks flush.
Pyre laughs gruffly. “I take it he remembered that bit as well?”
“No. He insisted it never happened, so I figure it was just a vision of the future. But, it felt so… real. It felt like something that had already happened. Something I… knew well.”
“And what are your feelings towards Cambion?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you lust for him?”
I feel my cheeks flush even further. I envy Pyre his ability to say whatever is on his mind. And without apology. “I wouldn’t deny him the pleasures of the flesh, if given the opportunity.”
“Then you do desire him?”
I nod, figuring it’s pointless to lie. “I can’t seem to shake these yearnings I have for him. But, they feel different to the ones I have with Dragan or Baron.”
“How so?”
I cock my head to the side as I consider it. “It’s like I need to satisfy him, to service him rather than just my hunger.”
“And what, if I may ask, did you feel for Variant?”
“Variant?”
“I know what happened in his bedchamber when he took advantage of you using compulsion , Eilish. And I also know part of you enjoyed what happened. But I need to understand what you felt when you were with him.” Pyre presses himself against the side of the mountain and creeps along the edge. I step into his footprints, not wanting to take a tumble over the cliff.
“I guess there’s no point in lying to you,” I answer with a little laugh. “Even if the subject isn’t exactly an easy one for me.”
“There’s rarely ever a point to lying to anyone,” he says with a smirk. “I already know you feel a certain way about Baron, because his affection comes without judgment. It’ll take a while to see his softer side, but don’t give up on my surly friend just yet. As for Dragan, he needs to come to terms with his history with succubae and angels and realize you are not one or the other, but both.”
“And Cambion?”
He shrugs. “You wish to impress him, to show him you’re different and earn his affection. You crave his praise and his sweet words, which is why you feel the urge to be obedient to him. Now, how does Variant make you feel?”
Well, I do want Cambion to be kind to me, to show me praise. Maybe, because he’s usually showing me just the opposite? Regardless, I need Cambion’s acceptance as much as I need to feed.
“I lust for Variant, I can’t deny that,” I reply as I glance down at my hands and feel shame flooding my entire body. “I want him to burn for what he’s done, but I also want to understand why he did the things he did. Why would someone so loved and respected turn against everything he’d worked hard to accomplish? Why would he kill Baron, and banish Dragan and Cambion?”
A strange tension comes over Pyre as I talk. Very subtle and easy to miss if one were not accustomed to observing him, but I’ve seen him long enough to know that something about my words bothers him. “Careful. There are restless spirits that dwell in the mountain. They’ll try to possess you if we are not quick.”
When we reach the other side of the mountain, the spire is within sight.
***
CAMBION
The Veil
I walk through the forest with my head low and my mind soaring. There’s so much I seek to understand before the others return. My brother is no pawn on the board—he’s a king. And a cunning one, at that. Whatever deal he has in place with Variant is flimsy at best, if what Aima says is true.
Aima.
That’s a name I never thought I would hear again, but alas... the past seems eager to taunt me.
I know she will always think of me as a friend, her favorite playmate in our youth, but I loved her—long ago. And part of her loved me in return. We shared our first kiss, and I always thought of myself as her protector. In the past, she was sweet and fragile, innocent and beguiling. I loved her before I ever understood what love was.
But her love for me wasn’t strong enough to blind her to the affections of my brother. And Theren loved Aima. I thought he loved her still. Regardless, I know my brother would never have called for her execution. No matter what the rest of the realms choose to believe, my brother has honor.
Theren and I are really not so different. His dark aura swirls around him in the same way light finds its way to me. I can draw upon it, use it to call power down from the ethers. He can summon storms that have enough force to level entire cities. Together, we were unstoppable. I still don’t understand why he turned his back on me.
Unseelie and Seelie fae have been at war since the beginning of time, but not Theren and I. At one point, we were nearly inseparable. Since we lost the war, I’ve been searching for a reason why he betrayed me. And every time I’ve come up empty-handed. It’s no different now. The only way I can ever hope to know the truth is by asking Theren directly.
I stop beside the largest tree in the forest and press my hand to the trunk. The bark is rough beneath my palm, but I can feel the tree’s pulse of life despite being in a realm of death. Vibrations of energy pulse through this place like a heartbeat. Squeezing my eyes shut, I allow myself to fall into that place where I find peace. The garden is quiet, but I hear her .
Ever since Eilish came into my life, my ability to retreat to my garden has become more difficult. It’s as though I can’t walk among the flora unless I’m willing to accept her presence.
This dream-Eilish smiles as I approach. She saunters over and I find myself bewitched by her beauty once more. “You came…”
“Always.” I let her step into my arms. Somehow, I will find the strength to deny her. But today is not that day. “Why did you shut me out before? I tried to come to you, but the gate was closed.”
“Because I couldn’t find my way back to the garden. I’m lost, Cambion.”
I lift my hand to her cheek and feel the heat of her flesh as though she were here, standing in front of me. “I found you. We’re here together now.”
Eilish runs her fingers through my hair and leans close to my face. I feel her breath caress my skin and her lips brush mine. She gasps into the kiss. My hands grip her hips and I back her against the tree. My eyes fly open and suddenly I’m back in the forest, hand still pressed to the bark of the living oak.
Why is she lost?
Why does it matter? It doesn’t.
Because, I shouldn’t be thinking of a succubus. They are vile, evil she-demons undeserving of my time or my thoughts. I shake my head to clear away the remnants of my meditation and continue my stroll through the forest. Eventually, I return to the cottage to find the others still haven’t returned. Flumph grumbles somewhere in the kitchen and I follow the sound. “Sprite! Why aren’t you watching Morrigan?” I hiss.
“‘Cause she outta her mind! I hear her whisperin’ all kinds o’ shit that don’t makes no sense to me. Talkin’ ‘bout her old boyfriend Abbydone. I knows he ain’t dead. She talk ‘bout him all the time. She even talk ‘bout Variant like she can fuckin’ see him er somethin’! I don’t wants her crazy rubbin’ off on me.” He takes a breath. “You want her watched? Then you do the watchin’!”
“You may be a fool but I never took you for a liar,” I say as I lean against the cabinets and glare at the insufferable little creature.
“I ain’t no liar!”
“Tell me: Why would Morrigan lie about Abedon’s death, let alone talk to Variant, the man who imprisoned her and stole her power? Not to mention, she’s unconscious and has been since we took her from her bedchamber!”
“I ain’t got none o’ them answers for you, assface! But, one thing I can tell ye is that I be the only one outta this whole fuckin’ operation that ain’t been lyin’ through my tooths!”
“Morrigan was my mentor and my friend. She established the balance after the Singularity nearly destroyed everything. Why would she put it all at risk again?”
“It ain’t my job to know what crazies are thinkin’, dick! All I were sayin’ was that she got problems, and they might become our fuckin’ problems if we ain’t careful! So fuck you very much!” The sprite storms off with a bowl of greasy-looking porridge and heads up the stairs. I can hear him cursing under his breath the entire way and it does nothing to lessen my irritation.
My anger has nothing to do with Flumph.
It’s just easier to blame everything on the idiot sprite than it is to suffer the shameful realization that Eilish means more to me than I want her to. I slam my fist into the cupboard, shattering the wood and embedding my palm with splinters. She’s unraveling me, and I don’t like it. I need to get ahold of my life again. Fingers trembling, I pick the slivers of wood from my bloodied knuckles.