24. Alexander
24
ALEXANDER
I had considered typing out a reply to her, but I couldn’t trust that my phone wasn’t being monitored. I had already bought a burner phone on my way over to Emily’s apartment building, and I sat in the car outside, typing in Julius’ phone number.
It rang once before he picked up.
“Hey, big boss man,” Julius said. “How goes it?”
“I need answers, Julius. Have you found anything else regarding the book?” I asked.
A hesitation. There was music playing in the background, and I pictured my contact in his little underground hiding hole, with purple lights and computer screens. Julius was always hiding out because he wasn’t part of either the U.C. or Sanguine Nox. A life that involved being as invisible as possible. A life of constant fear and anxiety. Of hiding.
Was it so much worse than this?
“Julius?” I asked.
“I’m here, boss man, but I don’t know what to tell you. It doesn’t look good. I can’t find anything on the dark web that indicates anything other than what we’ve discussed. ”
“I’m not going to turn her.” I wanted to ask about the bond, if that could perhaps break the curse, but that would mean giving her to the U.C. I couldn’t give her to Elder Finnian. And I couldn’t bond her myself. I couldn’t risk weakening either of us.
“Then I don’t know what to tell you, boss,” Julius said. “I can’t find anything else.”
“There has to be something. There has to be.”
“Not that I know of,” he said.
“Julius.”
“I’m sorry, boss man. But I did discover something else. And you’re not going to like it.”
“Wonderful,” I said drily.
“According to my research, removing the book from her might not have been a great thing to do.”
Anger flooded me. “What do you mean? You told me I had time to get it back to her.”
“Sure,” he said. “Sure, but that was like … an estimation. Turns out, it wasn’t a couple of days; it was a couple of hours. The longer the book is away from her, the worse it is.”
“So, I give it back and?—”
“It’s too late for that,” Julius said. “I’m sorry, boss man. If you give it back now, it will kill her nearly instantly. You’ve got to turn her or she dies.”
“No! It’s a fate worse than death.”
“Who hurt you?” Julius said, but the joke was lame, and he didn’t laugh after he’d said it. “I’m sorry, Alexander.” He never called me that. “I don’t know who she is or what she means to you, but it’s over, man.”
“It’s not over. Keep looking for a way out.”
“I’ll do that. I’ll … Yeah, I’ll do that. But just take my advice and don’t give the book back, all right? Look, I gotta go.” And then he hung up.
I glared at the phone screen and squeezed my phone until a crack spread across it. I shut my eyes .
I couldn’t turn her. I wouldn’t.
The longer I’d been in Emily’s life, the more things had gone wrong for her, and out of all the humans on this earth who didn’t deserve the pain, she was at the top. And now that she was a Guardian, or had the potential to be one, there were more uncomfortable questions to consider.
Had I been attracted to her because of who she was, or because of the hidden power she possessed? Was it love or a deeper attraction? An attraction I had strengthened by sleeping with her.
Doing the right thing seemed impossible. It seemed like no matter how I tried or what I did, I was doomed. And so was she.
My shoulders slumped, and I tossed the phone aside.
Emily’s text had been painful to read, but necessary.
I had to talk to her. I couldn’t give her the book, but I could protect her and?—
And what? Take her away? No, I couldn’t do that. And I couldn’t save her without either bonding her—and I wasn’t even sure that was true—or turning her, and neither of those things were happening. I couldn’t condemn her like that.
I opened the car door and got out, then headed into her apartment building. It was easy to get past the door, and I used my invisibility to ensure that the coast was clear.
The scent of another vampire was in the air, but it had faded, indicating that they were long gone. Her apartment was empty. I could sense it by using my vampire magic, but the one next door, Mike’s place, was coated in more of his Hunter protection.
I stopped in front of Michael’s door and knocked.
Frantic barking and growling broke out on the other side, but faded a few minutes later. A door slammed within the apartment.
A minute passed.
I knocked again.
Finally the door creaked open, and Michael glared out at me. “Asshole.”
“Where is Emily? ”
“She’s dying thanks to you.”
“Open the door so I may see her,” I said.
“Why should I? Why should I let you near her after everything you’ve done? You basically sentenced her to death, and I’m here trying to pick up the pieces that you?—”
“Mike.” Emily’s voice was weak, and it sent a spike through my chest. “Let me see him.”
Michael ground his teeth so hard they squeaked. “Fine.” He let the door swing open.
Emily lay on the sofa on her side, one arm hanging over it, fingertips brushing the floor. Morgan sat in an armchair nearby, her eyes wide, shaking her head repeatedly.
“This is insane,” Morgan whispered. “Insane.”
“Emily,” I said.
“You lied to me,” she said, and those beautiful cerulean eyes punished me with the pain in them. “You took the book.”
“I had to do it,” I said. “This is bigger than either of us, Emily. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not sorry,” Mike spat. “You?—”
“Stop.” Emily sighed. “Just let me talk to him, Mike. Can you just give us some privacy?”
Michael grunted then helped Morgan out of her armchair and guided her out of the living room. I had no doubt he would linger nearby, listening in on our conversation out of fear for Emily’s life.
A part of me appreciated that, even though I was the one who had doomed her.
“I thought that removing the book and returning it would be the key,” I said slowly. “I made a copy. I was going to bring it back to you.”
“Then where is it?” she asked. “Where’s the book?”
“I can’t give it to you.”
She scoffed.
“Emily, if I give it to you, I have reason to believe that it will kill you instantly,” I said .
“What does that matter?” Emily asked. “You clearly haven’t cared about me at all, have you? Have you?”
I couldn’t answer her. If I did, it would give her false hope. Because whether I liked it or not, Emily and I could never be together. Guardian or not, she would never be mine now that the U.C. wanted her, and even if she could be, I did not have the space in my cold, heartless chest for her.
“Emily.”
“There’s my answer. I’m an idiot, and you are— You’re a liar.”
I took it like a punch. I didn’t flinch, even though it hurt. It was true. No matter how much I didn’t want it to be. It was true. “I’m going to try to help you.”
“Don’t.”
“Emily, you need to know what’s going on. You of all people. The book is slowly killing you from afar, and I’m trying to find a solution. If I can find it, I’ll tell you.”
“Don’t even bother. Mike is helping me. He’s talking to the people in his organization, so I don’t need you to offer me some pity olive branch because you feel bad about what you did. Or maybe it’s because you want to manipulate me again. I don’t care. I don’t want it.”
“Listen to me,” I said. “Please.”
She opened her mouth to argue then closed it again.
“I don’t want you to die, Emily,” I said. “And I will ensure that it doesn’t happen, but returning the book will end in your death. I am going to find a way to put a stop to this, but until then, there are worse things for you to be concerned with.”
“Such as?”
“You are a target for vampires now. You are—It’s complicated, but you are attracting vampires because you are irresistible to them.” What good would it do to tell her she was a Guardian? The more time I spent here, talking to her, the closer we drew to her death. I had to make this quick and leave. I had to find a way to save her for good.
“Irresistible.”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ve always thought you were special, Emily, but?—”
“Save it,” she snapped. “I don’t want to hear it from you. You’ve done everything you could to hide the truth from me. What did you expect, Alexander? That I would be happy with all your lies?”
“No.”
“Then why don’t you save us all time and leave.”
“Emily.”
“You don’t love me,” she said. “Do you? You don’t even care.”
I wanted to tell her the truth badly, but it was utterly pointless. Because Emily and I could never be together.
“I came to warn you,” I said. “You need to stay here until I can find a way to save you. I’m not sure how much time is left or what I can do, but I will find a way. I’ll help you.”
“That’s enough,” Mike said, striding out of the short hallway. “You need to leave. I’ve got Emily’s best interests in mind, and it will be me who figures out how to save her from the curse that you put on her. This was your doing, vampire. Don’t forget it. She certainly won’t, and neither will I.”
“You lied to her as much as I did, hunter.”
“Yeah, but unlike you, I didn’t do it so I could run a book back to my masters at the U.C. I did it to protect her. I did it because I actually cared for her, you sick piece of?—”
I cast out a hand toward him, but it hit the invisible barrier that was his ward. He smirked, even though he had no idea that I could send my vampire magic through it. I sent out a streak of that red magic and surrounded his ward line with it.
“What are you doing?” Michael snapped. “Stop.”
“Ensuring that she is actually safe. Your petty wards won’t protect her. No vampire will be able to cross my magic without bursting into flame.”
“We don’t need your help,” Michael said.
But my gaze flickered past him toward Emily on the sofa. She had already turned her back to me.
“Goodbye, Emily.”
She didn’t say anything.
Pain followed me all the way down the hallway. I turned invisible and kept moving, past closed doors, the scent of that vampire still in the air. I would have to follow it and break its limbs. I would need to find an answer to this impossible question.
What would save Emily? Was there a chance that I could find the answers in the book itself?
Or would that only weaken her further?
I exited into the night and got into my car, hurriedly removing the book from underneath the passenger seat and opening it. I began reading, praying that there would be a clue, a way around the Guardian bond or turning her completely, one that didn’t involve the help of vampire hunters.
I wouldn’t abandon Emily to die. I would leave her only once she was well and free of all vampires.
But that seemed unlikely now, unless there was a way to shut down her Guardian abilities and allure as well.