23. Maddox
All I could feel was the fury blazing through me. It blazed through muscle and sinew, leaving behind nothing but ash in its wake. All I could see was Dexter pinning Hayden against the wall. Terrifying her. Telling her all about his plans for her future.
But I knew what could happen when the Corbetts got their hands on a female. Knew the agony they could bring.
I rarely let my rage free, but ever since the council had shown their faces at our home, I hadn’t been able to rein it in. But maybe the fracturing of my walls had already started. Begun when Hayden had walked unknowingly into our world, blowing everything sky high.
“Mad,” she whispered, her voice thick with concern.
Her hands felt like heaven on my cheeks. Her skin was so damned soft. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Because Hayden was more.
Even that thought felt like a betrayal. To Niecy. Not because what we’d shared had been some earth-shattering thing, but because of what Niecy had lost. All because of me.
My gut churned, and I pulled back, out of Hayden’s touch. Losing that connection felt like a million knives slicing across my skin.
Hurt flashed in Hayden’s violet eyes, and I wished those knives were real. She didn’t deserve the fucked-up place my head was. The dark demons that lived there. I might’ve hidden them better than some of my brothers, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there.
Hayden lowered herself to the tiny ottoman opposite the sofa, not saying a word.
My throat constricted. “Are you all right?” I hadn’t even asked if he’d hurt her.
“Physically? I’m fine.”
But emotionally, she was anything but. The urge to pull Hayden into my arms was so strong. To cradle her against my chest and let her scent of jasmine and dew fill my nostrils.
My fingers tightened around the edge of the sofa—anything to keep them in check.
“Good.”
“But you’re not okay,” she said softly. “You haven’t been.”
I saw the hurt in Hayden’s expression again, the pain. Emotions that I’d put there. But that was what I’d always brought to the people I cared about. Agony.
Hayden pushed on, always my brave Mo Ghràidh. “But it’s more than just tonight. You disappeared.”
Guilt gnawed at me, digging its claws in and twisting. “I needed to get away for a while.”
“To your cabin?”
I tensed. “Who told you about it?”
Hayden didn’t pull back as if my harsh tone had hurt her. She studied me as if she was really trying to understand, to see. “Is the cabin supposed to be a secret?”
“No,” I mumbled. “But not many know about it.”
“Knox told me. He knew I was worried about you and wanted me to know you were okay.”
Of course, Knox would be concerned about Hayden first and foremost. He’d been all in from the first moment. I envied my brother for how he’d seemed to defeat his demons. He didn’t let his past twist him.
I rested my elbows on my knees and braced my head in my hands. “Sometimes all the voices in the house get to be too much. I need quiet. Space.” Time to let the rage flow out of me. To shift and fly for hours, burning out the anger.
“What did the council do?” Hayden asked softly.
My head jerked up, tension stringing my muscles taut. I wanted to snap at her, but I couldn’t. I’d already caused Hayden too much pain. And maybe if I explained it, she’d see why this could never be. At first, I’d thought it was just fear of losing my job, but it was so much more. Those demons were still haunting me from the deep.
“They didn’t do a damned thing when the Corbetts killed Niecy.”
Hayden tensed. “Niecy was your…girlfriend?”
I let out a long breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Yes. She was my first…everything.”
Hayden tried to hide the flicker of hurt, but I didn’t miss it.
I didn’t know how to explain that there wasn’t anything for Hayden to be jealous about. “She was a childhood crush. Those bumbling firsts. But even back then, the Corbetts knew I’d be powerful. They wanted to quelch that.”
Hayden’s brows pulled together. “You grew up around here?”
I nodded. “A few hours north, almost to Oregon. I was a part of a very small horde. But it was a good one. Niecy was a dragon, but she didn’t have the ability to shift. She should’ve been safe. But not when the Corbetts wanted to send me a message. I was a sophomore at Evergreen when they left her broken body on the hood of my car.”
Tears glittered in Hayden’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Maddox.”
“I was living the high life in college. I’d turned into a shitty boyfriend. I didn’t cheat, but I was so excited to be away from home. There were classes I’d only dreamed of.”
Hayden’s lips curved the barest amount. “Always the brainiac.”
The corner of my mouth kicked up. “From birth, I’m afraid.” That smile slipped. “She deserved so much better. We wouldn’t have made it to the end of that year, but at least she would’ve been free to find a mate who loved and cherished her.”
“Maddox,” Hayden whispered, her voice carrying with it pain that was my own.
My hands fisted. “I didn’t know I’d landed on the Corbetts’ radar. Not until it was too late.”
“And you went to the council to tell them what happened.”
“Yes. I smelled the Corbetts’ scent all over Niecy’s body. But the council said that wasn’t proof they were the ones who killed her. She could’ve been visiting the horde.”
“Liars,” Hayden gritted out.
“They only care about two things: money and power. It’s all they’ll ever care about.”
She worried her bottom lip. “Was the council made up of the same members as it is now?”
I pulled back, studying her. “No. Nolan is the only member who’s the same. Why?”
Hayden gave her head a shake, making her blonde hair cascade over her shoulders. “Nothing.” She leaned forward and took my hands in hers. “It wasn’t your fault.”
I tried to jerk my hands free, but Hayden held firm.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was,” I growled.
Hayden’s violet gaze locked with mine. “Maddox, this wasn’t your fault.”
Each word was like a carefully placed blow. And before I knew it, tears were filling my eyes.