2. Easton
I couldn’t stop staring down at my hands. It wasn’t as if they had never been covered in blood before. They’d been stained this reddish-brown more times than I could count. But it was like I’d never experienced it before. Because it was her.
Guilt swamped me. But it wasn’t a passive, sluggish emotion. This guilt was brutal, surging through my veins and burning everything in its path. It had gone completely feral.
Even after everything I’d done, especially tonight, Hayden had stepped into the path of dragon fire for me.
Why?
The question swirled round and round in my brain.
“You’re going to make her hold on,” Cillian growled.
The alpha waves in his voice jerked me out of my haze. Cillian was glaring down at Maddox, who was working on Hayden. Mad had packed her chest full of gauze and inserted an IV. God, I hoped he’d given her something to take the edge off.
I’d hear Hayden’s scream when I tried to stop her bleeding for the rest of my life.
“I’m doing everything I can,” Maddox said. His voice was completely empty, void of all emotion. As if he’d gone dead inside.
“Mad!” Knox shouted, panic digging into his tone. “I don’t think she’s breathing.”
Maddox cursed, bending so that he was hovering over her. “We need to start CPR.”
But Hayden’s chest was already shredded. I didn’t think CPR was going to do a damn thing to help. Still, Maddox began compressions while Knox executed rescue breaths.
Cáel’s massive form filled my vision. “You. This is on you.” He shoved me hard, but I didn’t try to stop him. “This is what you wanted from the beginning. Are you happy now?”
Cillian grabbed him by the back of the shirt, tugging him back before his fist could connect with my face. But I wished our alpha hadn’t stopped him. I wished Cáel’s fist would’ve crushed my jaw. Then maybe I’d have a slight distraction from the agony swirling in my chest.
“Get a hold of yourself. This is the last thing we need,” Cillian barked.
Sirens sounded. I caught the flash of lights in the distance.
I knew Cillian would’ve called our horde’s ambulance. We had it for coverage. If a dragon shifter was injured, there was always a chance they could transform without meaning to. Our ambulance was stocked with a drug that prevented the shift and had medical supplies that were shifter specific.
Every minute or so, Maddox would order Knox to “breathe”. I couldn’t take the command, what it meant. A fresh wave of anguish ripped through me each time.
The ambulance squealed to a stop, and two horde members jumped out. Even they, who had seen more than their fair share of injuries, faltered at the sight of Hayden. They knew who she was to my bond mates. Knew what this could mean.
They hurried over with some sort of machine, connecting pads to Hayden’s chest.
“Clear,” Gretchen ordered.
Everyone moved back.
Hayden’s body jerked in an unnatural motion. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn’t.
Gretchen pressed her fingers to Hayden’s neck and gritted her teeth. “Clear.”
Hayden’s body jerked again.
Gretchen was back, pressing two fingers to Hayden. “I have a pulse. Let’s move.”
In a matter of seconds, Hayden was being loaded onto a gurney. My bond mates crowded around her in the back of the ambulance, but I immediately went for shotgun. I couldn’t be that close, not knowing that I’d caused this.
Gene hopped behind the wheel and flicked the sirens on again.
“Where’s the caster?” Cillian yelled from the back of the ambulance.
“Waiting in medical and preparing everything he’ll need,” Gene called.
I had a surge of pity for the caster. He was being handed an impossible task, one that when he failed, he’d never be able to stay with our clan. Cillian wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of him.
Gene pressed down on the accelerator.
The ride to our territory was made in half the time it normally took. The gates were already open in preparation, and the ambulance didn’t even slow as we approached. We screeched to a stop outside our house, members of the horde waiting, wanting to do anything to help.
Knox and Cillian lifted the gurney while Gretchen rode on top of it, squeezing some sort of bag that had to be helping Hayden breathe. I followed behind them as if I were a robot and someone else held my controls.
In some ways, that was exactly true. I’d touched Hayden. Skin-to-skin. I’d felt the mate bond flare to life in my system. She had control now, even if the bond hadn’t been cemented.
Cáel and Maddox were practically on top of the gurney as Knox and Cillian guided it down the hall. The moment we reached the medical wing, Marcus, our new caster, was by the gurney’s side.
I didn’t miss how his face paled as he took in Hayden.
“What happened?” Marcus asked.
All eyes in the room came to me.
“Dragon fire. She got hit with dragon fire.” The voice didn’t even sound like my own.
Marcus jerked his head in a nod and began grabbing ingredients, mixing them in a bowl. He chanted in that language I still didn’t understand as he worked. And a few moments later, he looked up. “I need her mates. All of them.”
Panic reared inside me, but a strong hand gripped my arm. I looked down to see Cáel’s tattooed hand.
“If you don’t help her, I will pull your still-beating heart from your body.”
I had no doubt he would. “I’m not going anywhere.” I’d do whatever Marcus needed. I had to.
“I need you all to lay hands on her, skin-to-skin,” the caster instructed. “Your energy is the only thing that has a prayer of saving her. Picture it flowing into her.”
I stepped forward, resting my palm on her calf. Sensation ripped through me, nearly bringing me to my knees. My beast surged to the surface. He wanted free, to claim and protect. He knew his mate was in danger, and he blamed me for it.
I shoved him down, focusing on the feel of Hayden. Her skin was far too cold. It was wrong in every way.
Marcus dipped what looked like a bundle of sage into the concoction he’d created and then held it out to Cillian. “Light it with your fire.”
Cillian opened his mouth, and a swirl of flame escaped, lighting the bundle.
“Hands on Hayden,” Marcus ordered. “Focus your energy.”
I felt that tether between me and Hayden, the one I’d been trying so desperately to ignore for the last several weeks. Then I shoved everything I had into it. I’d give her the last breath in my lungs if it would help.
Marcus began chanting and sprinkling ash over Hayden’s form. The ash wasn’t the typical black, though. It was a myriad of colors, changing as it fell.
Suddenly, I felt a tug, a pull on my energy. I let it go, let Hayden take whatever she needed.
That green energy known to casters swirled around Marcus as he chanted louder. Sparks flew around Hayden and then embedded in her chest.
I watched, transfixed as the gaping hole began to heal.
The moment her flesh was knit back together, Marcus slumped against the gurney. He looked at Hayden, no relief in his expression. “All we can do now is wait. It’s up to her if she comes back to you.”
A different wave of pain hit me at that. Because I’d made Hayden want to run away. I’d made her doubt my bond mates’ feelings for her. And if she died now, it would be my fault twice over.