Chapter 44 – Marcella
MARCELLA
“Marcella? Marcella, can you hear me, baby?” The voice is soft and sweet and a little rough. It also sounds distant, but it’s growing closer. And I’m warm. Something brushes one cheek, then the other. “You moved. Are you awake?”
My arms are heavy and so are my eyes, but I’m awake. I know I’m awake. I force my eyes open, blinking slowly. Blurry amorphic shapes obscure my vision before they slowly solidify and come into focus. Blue eyes hold mine, and my heart flutters. Rowan.
“Hi,” he whispers.
“Hi,” I rasp, my voice sounding like I swallowed sand and chased it with burned cotton.
He smiles as he glances up in the direction of a beeping sound. “I knew I made your heart beat faster. Now I have the proof.”
I try to clear my throat, but it’s raw, and I wince. My chest hurts like hell, and I’m already exhausted and want to go back to sleep, but I force myself to keep my eyes open. It’s dark everywhere. The room, out the window, everything is dark.
“Where am I?”
His fingers drag along my forehead and across my cheek. “The hospital, because the doctors wouldn’t let me move you to the palace. It seems since you’re not my fiancée or wife yet, I don’t get to make medical decisions for you.”
There is so much in there for me to focus on, but I’m stuck on that one tiny word. Yet. Is he crazy?
“What…” I trail off as visions and memories fill my head. I’m foggy, and it’s a struggle to hold them but… “She’s dead. Signoria is dead.”
“Yes. You killed her in self-defense.”
My brows tighten. It wasn’t self-defense.
She was going to kill him, and I had to stop her.
Hell, I was going to kill her regardless.
I should have. I should have shot her immediately after I shot Cristo, but I didn’t know where Antonia was, and I wanted to learn what else was up Signoria’s sleeve before I did that.
She always has something, a plan B, and now I’ll never know what it was.
“Jaqueline?”
“She’s at the palace getting spoiled by everyone. Incidentally, she makes a great babysitter, and the kids love her.”
A cracked smile attempts to tug at my lips but quickly gives up. My chest shakes with tears that won’t fall. “I’m sorry.”
His hand brushes hair back from my face. “Don’t be sorry. You saved my life. Twice.”
“And put you in danger.”
“I did that. I tracked you, knowing it would be dangerous. If she had come closer with that bottle, Gabe was going to blow her head off.”
“Now you tell me.” My eyes close.
“Marcella, you saved a lot of people. You went against everything you’ve been trained and raised to do. Then you selflessly threw yourself at her. Give yourself some credit.”
“Not so easy.”
“I thought I lost you,” he chokes. “You were seizing, and I sprayed the antidote in your mouth, but then your heart wasn’t beating, and you stopped breathing.
I didn’t know what to do, and Gabe and I took turns with compressions.
You came back for a minute, but then you were gone again.
I thought I lost you,” he repeats. “I thought that was it.” His chin dips and his eyes hold mine, fiercely determined.
“I’m not letting you go. Not again. Not ever. ”
“Rowan—”
He presses his lips gently to mine. “Only you would wake up after a near-death experience and immediately argue. Woman, shut up. I love you.”
My heart ties itself into a thousand knots. “I love you too, but—”
He kisses me again. “Every time you try to argue with me, I’m going to kiss you.
It’s the only thing that stops you. We’ll talk, okay?
I know we have a lot to discuss, and I’m not shirking that.
But you’re alive, and I thought I lost you.
Nothing else matters to me right now more than having you awake in my arms.”
My eyes close. I don’t have the energy to fight him, but it’ll come. It’ll have to come. He can say whatever he likes, but there’s a reality to us that’s undeniable.
“I have a lot to tell you, and I know you have a lot to tell me, but I should probably get your nurse. She said it could be any minute after they removed your sedation, but it’s been six hours.
I was worried you might not wake up. They said…
” He makes a fractured noise. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. You’re awake.”
He kisses my forehead and climbs out of bed, taking his heat with him. I don’t want him to go, but it’s too late. I lift my hands and flex my feet, testing my strength. I don’t have much, and even those small movements take the wind out of me. It also feels like someone broke my chest open.
A moment later, the lights flip on, and I squint.
“Sorry,” a woman in blue scrubs says, but she doesn’t turn off the light, so maybe she’s not at all that sorry.
“Glad to see you’re awake. I’m Julia, your nurse.
I’m going to examine you. I’ve notified the doctor that you’re awake, and she’ll likely want to come in and examine you as well. How are you feeling?”
I lick my dry lips. “Tired. Sore.”
“You have two fractured ribs in your chest near your sternum from when they did CPR. Your body is tired and sore because they had to resuscitate you after you were poisoned. Do you remember anything?”
“A little,” I hedge, not wanting to tell her anything. Talk about a loaded question.
“Well, you’re very brave.” She comes over and shines a light in my eyes and listens to my heart with her stethoscope before she feels around on my chest and belly.
I don’t feel brave. I feel broken and off balance.
I don’t know where Antonia is, and there will be a reckoning there. I’ll have to answer questions about my past. About Signoria. About everything.
The nurse finishes, declaring me one lucky woman, then leaves me, but I’m not alone. Rowan is back, and I sigh.
He chuckles. “Always so happy to see me.”
He climbs into bed beside me without invitation. His arms wrap around me, and he pulls me ever so gently closer, kissing my forehead. “Get some sleep, mia stella.”
“Rowan…” I don’t know where to begin.
“Tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow when you have more strength. The nurse told me you need rest, and so do I. But no more pushing me away. I need you. I need you every minute of every hour of every day, and that’s not changing.
It’s only growing stronger. Get used to it.
Get over it. You’re mine. My girl. And I want to sleep holding you. ”
Damn him. I have no defense.
“Don’t run out on me again.” He stops breathing, looking pained, and everything in me melts.
“You might want me to.” I bite my bottom lip, tears welling once more. The thought is devastating, but I also know I have to brace for it.
“Nah. I think I’m gonna always want you to stay.” His fingers drag along my cheek, and he holds my face, staring into my eyes.
“I’m not a good person. I haven’t been a good person. I haven’t done good things,” I amend because maybe the things I did weren’t entirely my fault. I don’t know. My thoughts are manic.
“The last one and not the first two. Glad you’re getting there.
” A soft smile lights his features. “From the moment I saw you, I knew I wanted you. I can’t imagine a world where that’s different.
” His lips press to mine. “Hell, I’m breaking a million rules by being in your bed right now, and I don’t care.
They’d have to physically remove me to get me to leave you. So go to sleep.”
“I want to deserve this.”
A kiss to my nose. “Me too.”
My eyes close, and I snuggle into him, taking the comfort he’s offering and getting lost in his smell even though it hurts like hell to move even an inch or take a breath, for that matter. But Jaqueline is safe. I’m safe. We don’t know where Antonia is, but I’ll think about that tomorrow.
“He had it coming,” she said in no uncertain terms. “Marie got Desta, and I was left with nothing. Worse, it was all taken from me. The king had it coming, and so does the rest of his family for what they did to mine.”
Warm kisses trail along my forehead and cheek, and my eyes slowly open. I blink and move at the same time, and it’s a horrible mistake. A pained gasp rips from my throat, and I still.
“Fuck. I’m sorry! Hold on.” He moves and pulls up a remote with a button on it. “Here.” He clicks the button. “Give that a minute, it’ll help.”
Slowly, I relax, sinking back into the bed. It is helping, and my eyes close as I release the breath I was holding. Rowan sits up, twisting his back and neck to work out stiffness. I can’t believe he slept in my hospital bed with me. That couldn’t have been comfortable.
A piece of my dream flickers back through my memory, and I twist my head to him. “You asked me about Marie. I never told you.”
He stands and runs his hands over his head, tousling his already sleep-mussed hair more. He picks some sleep out of his eyes and drops into the chair beside the bed. “How do you know about her? How do you know her name and that she took Desta?” he asks instead of answering my questions.
“Because she’s Antonia’s half-sister. I’ve met her.”
All the color drains from his face, and his hands fall limply in front of him as he gapes at me. “You’ve met her? When?”
I’m so confused right now. “Um…I don’t remember exactly. The last time I saw her was two years ago, maybe.”
He blinks at me and shoots to his feet, his hands interlocking behind his head, and he breathes hard as he paces my room.
“Marcella…” he starts, then stops. “Fuck. Two years ago? Are you sure?”
“Yes. Why? What is this?”
“Was Desta with her?”
“No.”
He spins and stares me down. “Do you know what happened to my sister? Is she alive?”
Now it’s my turn to blink, utterly at a loss for words. “I don’t know. All that was ever said about her to me was that Marie took her and Antonia hated her. Twisted. Antonia kept saying everything got twisted up.”
“What does that mean?”
I close my eyes as I think back. “I don’t know. They screamed at each other, and Marie made a lot of threats at Antonia that Antonia threw back in her face. It wasn’t anything specific. That was it.”
He gulps, looking wrecked.
“Rowan…” I don’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry. It’s just shocking to me that I’ve been searching for the woman who killed my father and took my sister, and you’ve met her.”
My eyebrows take a nosedive, and I tilt my head, my confusion growing. “Marie didn’t kill your father. Antonia did.”
“What?” he bellows, startling me.
The door flings open, and a nurse walks in, her gaze casting back and forth between us. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes,” I tell her. “Everything’s fine.” Except the look on Rowan’s face tells me that everything is not fine.
“Okay.” She looks nervously at Rowan, then back at me. “I’ll return with your breakfast soon and to examine you. We’d like to get you up and get that catheter out of you.”
“Wonderful. I’d like that too.” Because peeing into a bag isn’t my favorite thing. “Thank you.”
“Press the button if you need anything.” Her tone is pointed, but Rowan isn’t going to hurt me.
The nurse leaves us, and Rowan comes straight over to me and holds my face in his hands, his eyes directly in front of mine. “Repeat what you just said to me.”
“Antonia killed your father.”
His expression crumples, and he collapses back into the chair, covering his face with his hands and breathing through his fingers. “How do you know that?”
“I overheard her and Signoria talking about it before, but she had also mentioned it a few times in passing over the years.”
His hands fall to his lap with a thud. “You’re telling me the woman who killed my father was literally within my grasp yesterday? How was she involved?”
“Because she worked for your father and was one of his mistresses.”
He gulps. “Why would she kill him?”
“I don’t know all the details. Only pieces I overheard. There was resentment. I think your father dumped her for Marie and fired her. She knew Marie was going to try to take Desta and she hated the king.”
“My father broke up with one sister to fuck the other?”
There’s nothing funny about the way he says that, other than his deadpan expression and tone. “Yes,” I say apologetically.
“So she killed him out of what…jealousy?”
I shift ever so subtly. “I guess. Antonia is big on hate and retribution. She loves to make others suffer the way she says she has.”
“Jesus,” he hisses. “How is there such evil in this world, and how has it all found my family? I can’t begin to fathom how you lived in that world with them.”
“I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to hear and must be very painful.” Something is sticking with me, though. Something the king said when I was in his study. “I have to ask, why are you searching for Marie?”
“Because she took our sister,” he says simply. “We want to put her away for life and hopefully find Desta.”
“She doesn’t have her. I mean, I don’t know where Desta is or if she’s still alive or anything about her specifically.
I only know that Antonia stole her from Marie shortly after Marie took Desta all those years ago, though I don’t think Marie knows it was Antonia who did it.
Marie has been searching for Desta since. Same as you have.”
His jaw unhinges, and he stares unblinkingly at me. “What? Why would Antonia do that?”
“She hates Marie. She did it to punish her.”
“How would taking Desta punish her?”
“Because Desta was Marie’s and the former king’s biological daughter.”