Chapter 30
Talvie
We’re still tangled together—limbs, blankets, hearts—when I finally look up only to find Lark already watching me. His gaze is soft and awed, like he sees something incredible in the wreckage we’ve made of each other.
His thumb grazes my cheek. “Don’t move.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Part of me trembles with the impossibility of that promise, but I mean it. “That was incredible. I didn’t know it could be so…so…”
He kisses me, understanding curving his lips. “First time, too. Imagine how good we’ll be with practice.”
I give him the playful tap on the chest he deserves for that insufferable dimpled grin. But my mind snags on the words. “You want to…again? With me? I mean…of course, with me. Who else is there? Silly.”
Another kiss. Another dimple-popping smile. Another thud my heart may never recover from.
“Kulta, I would have you again right now if I wasn’t expecting the little beasties to return any moment.”
Tingling heat says my body is very on board with that idea, even as my head interrupts. “Really? You…like me…like this? Of course, like this. How else would I be? Stupid question. Ignore me.”
“Impossible. You’re all I can see whenever you’re near me.
You can’t imagine how often I have to restrain myself around you.
I’ve pictured tossing you up against basically every surface in this place, and trust me when I say it’s taking everything I have not to flip you over and make a new divot in this mattress right now. ”
Okay, now, that wasn’t even fair. My body roars with want. That. I want that. Right now would be good.
I’m not so na?ve as to think it means anything more than lust and chemistry, but yes, if he wants to do that again, I can’t wait to find the next opportunity. I’m more than ready.
Lark chuckles, like he knows exactly where my mind went.
Right. Little ones. Coming home soon.
That’s a sobering enough thought to cool me down a fraction. Lark only strokes a soothing hand across my back and presses a kiss to my crown.
Subtle tension returns to his body, making me look up into his eyes again.
He swallows and lifts his hand, fingers dancing lightly above the air near my shoulder. A shimmer appears between us, like fireflies caught mid-blink, before it resolves into a delicate illusion: a single bloom, frost-white and edged in violet, petals fluttering in a nonexistent breeze.
“For you,” he breathes.
“It’s beautiful.”
His smile is fleeting. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” His hand finds my shoulder again. “I should have said this a long time ago. I nearly did that night in the woods.”
I reach up to touch the illusion, feeling the brush of solid petals before it dissolves to nothing. His magic is incredible. He’s incredible. “So tell me,” I whisper.
He hesitates, jaw tightening. “My magic…it’s always been strong. Frederik helped me hone it at the orphanage, but even from a young age, he also taught me to hide it. Powerful magic is a threat, especially if you’re a nobody Wild One who doesn’t deserve such power.”
“Lark—”
He silences me with a brush of his fingers through my hair. “It’s true. At least, any Point Fae would think so.”
“I don’t—” This time I stop myself. I don’t think that, but I can see now how the Wilder Fae are treated as less. It’s awful that Lark has had to spend his life concealing who he really is. First the Lyslander side of him, then his magic.
“But the strongest magics,” he says slowly, “often have a mirror effect too, as I’m sure you know. If your ice magic grows potent enough, you’d also gain stronger heat and fire magic.”
It’s true, though I doubt my magic is as strong as his. But what is he saying? What’s the opposite of illusions?
I lift my head to meet his eyes.
“It means…” He exhales, gaze flicking away. “I can make others see what I want. But I can also see what others don’t want me to.”
I don’t understand. What is it he sees?
Before I can ask what he means—before he can say more—the front door to the cottage slams open.
Our heads swivel to the locked bedroom door.
“WELL, WE’RE ALL SET UP FOR THE PLAY,” Katja bellows from the front hall, ripping through the hushed space. “THAT SURE WAS A LOT OF WORK!”
There’s a low grunt, then Mikael’s voice joins hers, “YES, and now we’re home!”
Lark groans and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I suppress my laughter against his chest. “Do they think we’re deaf?”
“WHY ARE WE YELLING?” Helkki joins in.
“NO REASON,” Katja shouts back. “Just glad we’re HOME!”
“You’re so weird, Doc,” Juani mutters.
Footsteps shuffle. Boots thunk against walls. Something heavy drops to the floor.
Chaos has returned to our tiny sanctuary.
There’s a faint thwack and then an “Ow.”
“What’s wrong?” Katja’s concern cuts in.
“Nothing,” Juani mumbles. “Just a sliver.”
“Oh, a sliver removal! What a wonderful lesson for everyone to see, OVER HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM.”
“No,” Juani groans. “I don’t want everybody to watch.”
“Why not?”
His answer is barely audible, but we catch it.
“Sliver’s in my butt...”
Lark bursts into laughter, and I lose it right after, while the kids’ cackles echo through the cottage. I slide the cover off with a sigh, reaching for my blouse. “I guess we should join them.”
His gaze follows me hungrily. “Do we have to?”
Smiling, I lean down to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Sadly, yes. They know the engagement’s not real. We don’t want them to get the wrong idea. Just because…this happened. I mean…nothing’s changed, right?”
My chest aches even as I say it.
His smile falters. I’m not sure why, except…oh! He was trying to tell me something.
One more kiss, just to soothe that frown. “I want to hear more about your magic, Lark. I do. It takes my breath away. You take my breath away. Later, okay?”
His eyes are oddly sad, but he nods. “Later.”
My chest squeezes. I want to bring his smile back, always, but that won't ever be my job. Our agreement is temporary. I’m only here to help him win the kids, which is all that matters. “Right now, we need to help with a buttock-related sliver incident, or something awful.”
That earns me a grin. “You have literally never been sexier to me.”
Lark is still chuckling while he tugs on trousers and brushes a kiss to my cheek before he slips out the door, still sliding his tunic over his head. I sigh as the door eases shut behind him, the faint creak swallowed by laughter from the front room.
I fall back onto the bed. The blankets are still warm from him. From us. My limbs are pleasantly heavy, my muscles deliciously sore. My heart is less settled.
The moonstone on the table pulses, shining pearly white. Lumi unfolds into the room with spilled moonbeams that coalesce into a crescent of shimmering silver. She drifts across the space and pauses at the edge of the bed, her glow a soothing caress.
“It seems Valkie has made a choice.”
“It probably wasn’t smart,” I admit quietly.
“Yet you do not regret it.”
I exhale. “No. I don’t.”
She hovers close, all grace and cool assessment. “You followed your desire. You let your heart speak without your mind stifling it. That is not weakness.”
“I want to tell him who I am. He doesn’t know the real me, or the danger that follows me. I know that wasn’t fake just now, but it wasn’t completely real either, was it?”
Lumi rolls over once, considering. “He may not know your true name or provenance, but has the rest been a lie? Has Lark not met the real Valkie?” Her light pulses in a slow twirl. “Yes, Lumi thinks he knows the real you better than most. Possibly better than you yourself, my snowdrop.”
I scoff, but her words don’t ring entirely false.
“Aside from names and places, I haven’t lied when I talk about my past. At least, not in ways that matter.
I wish I could be entirely true with him, though.
When we reach for each other, even if all we can do is hold each other at night…
that feels honest. There’s truth in those moments, even if it’s only temporary. ”
Lumi regards me for a long moment. “Even a fleeting truth holds great power, Valkie. Lumi sees your heart grow open after all you’ve learned in your time here.”
I stare at the blankets twisted around my fingers. Silence falls, soft and heavy.
Then the door creaks again, and a hedgehog-shaped blur darts into the room, over to the bed, and scrambles up the blankets with as much dignity as a hedgehog can muster. He flops dramatically at my side.
“Hey, Hugo. Are you hiding out too?”
He gives a snort, curls into a loaf, and twitches his nose.
“I wish you could talk. Tell me Lark’s deep, dark secrets. I need a spy, Hugo. Just tell me what’s real.”
He grunts. Useful.
“Some of it has to be real. The attraction, at least. No one is that good at… what we just did… without genuine desire behind it.”
This time, I get hedgehog squeaks. Lumi rolls in midair.
“I know, I know. I’m overthinking. It was just lust. And can you blame me? You’ve seen him.”
The chirrup this time is quite indignant. Little weirdo.
“Fine, you’re a hedgehog. You find wrigglers delicious and are probably attracted to extra symmetrical quills or something, so what do you know?
” I laugh softly, then fall quiet again.
“I know I only have a little longer with him, and I don’t want to spend it closed off to love.
Not that this is— ” I catch myself. “No. You know what? I’m not going to stop whatever it is I’m feeling.
“I can pretend I don’t have feelings, but if I keep walling everything up like Taynia, I’ll be no better than her.
Look how that turned out. She turned herself and the whole Hinterlands into ice just because she wouldn’t face her feelings.
I’m not doing that. I won’t pretend I don’t care.
Even if it hurts later, even if it’s unreturned, I will not stop myself from feeling this. ”
Another silence falls. Lumi’s glow brightens in a way that feels like approval. Like strength.
I stand and take a breath, dislodging Hugo so I can don my skirts. “When you all leave, I’ll pick up the pieces and figure out how to move on. But I won’t be like her. I won’t fear being open to love, even if it might hurt.”
Hugo chirps at me, digs at the blankets, then spins a circle before flopping down again right where he started. I think he’s trying to get rid of me. Spiky little rat.
Lumi’s response is kinder. “Lumi will stay. Always with you, Valkie.”
I loop the necklace over my head as she returns to her moonstone form.
Hugo snuffles, and I give him a smile. “You’re a good listener, Hugo. Now don’t go telling any of that to Lark, got it?”
I snicker as I pull back my hair, ready to join whatever sliver-removal madness awaits me beyond the door.